Pink Tear

B+

2012-01-19T07:40:00.001-08:00

Rossabi gave me an A, I enjoy that. However, the female professor gave me a B+, and I was greatly disappointed by this grade. It is not because B+ was a bad grade, but I felt that it did not suit to the so much hard work I had done for this course. For the whole semester, I put a little time and energy on Rossabi’s class, but spend so much time to work on this course of American women’s history. I attended every class and pushed myself to do class participation as much as I could. When I found I didn’t get A on a short paper, I immediately went to see the professor, discussing the weak parts of my writing and paid more attention on those parts in my rest paper assignments. I composed my papers slowly and carefully, revised them again and again. I went to visit my writing tutor regularly in college writing center, and I sought help from private tutors too. However, I can do nothing with the grade but accept it. I don’t feel unhappy or unfair; since I have met so many nice and understanding professors, I deserve to meet a few who don’t appreciate me or my style. That is pretty fair.

2011 fall is over

2011-12-09T07:42:00.000-08:00

My last class of the fall 2011 semester was over in two days ago. I did not feel much release because the pressure was not big during this semester. After classes, I am continuing my normal work. Only the books I am reading during the work time changed from history books to English grammar books. I have no idea what grades I will be given. I feel the female professor of the American history course is not easy. If it is good, I may get an A-, if it is bad, I may get a B or B+. I also wish Professor Rossabi gives me an A. Who knows.

Listen to WNYC

2011-11-03T13:47:00.001-07:00

During lunch break I like to have a walk around school track field. It usually takes half hour or forty minutes. Sometimes I listen to radio, solely at channel WNYC. I gradually can understand more clearly of those news reports and talking programs. Yesterday I heard a piece of news about international market rice that was interesting. The president of an Asian country in a radio speech urged the people to believe in the resources and the price of rice. Immediately after his speech, the price of rice increased dramatically in this country. Japan had stored a large amount of rice, but the U.S. forbidden it to export it to international market. Later, after negotiation, the U.S. allowed Japan to export. Only this agreement was enough, the price of rice in international market dropped quickly. After a few days, the price decreased to a half, while Japan has not exported any rice yet.

Barry's Wang poem

2011-09-29T13:55:00.000-07:00

Now the Mountains see no people,
but echoes of human voices are heard.
Bright light returns and enters the deep forest,
to set again the dark green moss.

the first speeding ticket

2011-09-23T07:48:00.001-07:00

I got a speeding ticket last Sunday when I drove at the town Highland Falls for visiting West Point Military Academy. Henry discussed this case with me, and we finally decided that we don’t plea guilt, so we have to go to court a few weeks late. I have never been to a court for traffic ticket although it is very common in America. We conduct as many people as we can, the most "valuable" tips they gave us is don’t admit the over speeding. I doubt it is not moral, but nobody concerns about this, and they definitely will laugh at me if I openly question this. This is life.

Dogs' rights

2011-08-13T18:37:00.001-07:00

When I returned to my hometown this summer, I found a thing that the Americans could never imagine and could definitely think it is too cruel. In this town, walking dogs in public space is restricted in anytime. Isn’t it too cruel? Even though I was a resident here twenty years ago, it is hard for me to accept it now. However, since the indigenous people have no real experience of the dog rights on another side of the earth, they could never understand how disgusting the Americans would feel. For someone who has dogs as pets, they of course dislike this official regulation, but the common reaction of the masses is that even though it might be unfair, but since there are so many unfair things happened in this society, they would not be specially enraged by how dogs’ life are.

Barry's Party

2011-02-13T18:50:00.003-08:00

I came to Barry’s Chinese New Year party today. Barry composed a set of spring couplets that express his close feeling and good wishes to new immigrants. I admire his progress in Chinese study. I did one too and read out it in the party. In my spring couplets, I express all students’ gratitude to teacher Barry for his dedication in English teaching and our joy to celebrate Chinese New Year together.

The Last Day of 2010

2010-12-31T16:07:00.001-08:00

This is the evening of the last day of 2010. A week ago, a severe snowstorm struck this city. Until today, there is still a lot of snow on the road, bad traffic, and no place to go. I did not do anything special because I cannot. Ordinary life is not unpleasant, it is told that this is just life should be. A three or four year old child may be excited by a New Year, but there are already many new years coming and going in my life. The young age passion or anxiety towards new year is fading. Life becomes more and more wordless.

I see friends standing on the other side of the Internet. In the theory, communication is so easy that requests merely a light click. However, in our real life, it is much complex. The barriers, things you may not see, describe, but definitely feel, between our hearts are too huge to break down. I love my friends thus I never doubt their love to me. I am willing to spend some time with them, but seem as they don’t show me a welcome sign, maybe either is I. Many married women feel unnecessary to have friends and gradually narrow their social circle until zero. When we talk about it, we laugh at the stupidity of those people, but how do you know you may one of them one day.

One A

2010-12-28T10:44:00.001-08:00

I received an A from Prof. Sen for the seminar course. It is not a surprise. However, the grade from Prof. Rossabi has not yet appeared in my online account. It is bothered me because this course was not a class but only myself, it is possible that my grade would be ignored. I emailed Prof Rossabi for remaining, although on other hand I don’t really believe he would forget it. Prof Rossabi is such a careful and responsible person. Indeed, he wrote that he did submit my grade but since a new student online system is adapted in the semester in our school, some problems occur. It is reasonable. He said he would check it in history department next week.

Form my point of view, since this problem is due to the school rather than students, I think I may request him to email me my grade. But Prof. Rossabi refused, claiming that is against college regulations. I have to wait to next week to know my grade, but that is not so bad, as long as me and my grade has not been totally forgotten.

I’m waiting for two As.

2010-12-07T18:54:00.001-08:00

Prof. Sen’s class was well down yesterday. I prepared class discussion for a classmate’s paper and also talked two more times for other small issues. I said good-bye and thanks to Prof Sen. He wishes to see me at next fall semester. If he offers interesting classes, I definitely will take his classes again.

I came to Rossabi’s class this morning and talked with him in his office. He only asked me to double check grammar, and all other things are fine. He even does not require me to resubmit this paper for a grade for this course. Ok, I’ll send the first chapter to Prof. Sen some day next week, and all of my job is done.

I’m waiting for two As.

Last study week

2010-12-06T13:02:00.001-08:00

The paper has been completed at two weeks ago. Only a few little things need to be worried. Tonight we’ll have the last class of prof. Sen. In tonight’s class, we are required to do peer critiques of classmates’ papers. Thus, this afternoon I have to spend some time to read some classmates’ papers. The topics are varying, especially some are very unfamiliar to me, which makes me hard to grasp their main ideas. Styles are various too. Some students want to show a high academic writing standard by using large and abstract words, but in fact make their papers extremely difficult to understand. I like one classmate’s writing; the main idea and support details are strong and the writing is clear. He is a high school teacher, and I believe his writing skill is excellent. My paper has already been discussed in last week. Only one person made some comments. I knew my topic must be alien for the most American students, so I am not disappointed by lacking of responses.

Tomorrow I’ll come in to see Prof. Rossabi. It is most likely that he’ll not suggest me to do any major change. If in this case, my job will be basically down. I am planning to do one more time proofreading, fix some careless grammatical mistakes, and formally submit it to him. That’s all.

I have already started to read Chinese fictions since last week. It’s very hard to find out excellent ones despite there are myriad writers and published books. I enjoy seeing profound thoughts within interesting stories and real lives. However, many writers are unable to achieve this level. In their books, there are full of boring ideas and words as moral teaching. I don’t know if any one accept this kind of writing, but I definitely reject it. I also watch TV series from the Internet and practice calligraphy when I don’t read fictions. The winter is coming. So as a short period of relax life of mine.

Good, but not great

2010-11-19T17:39:00.000-08:00

I have already finished 17 pages of the second chapter today. In other words, I need only around 5 pages for the last part, Huichang suppression and a 1-2 page conclusion, and then my whole job is down. I just cannot image how happy that would be when I have no paper assignment any more. I’ll have a relax winter.

Dr. Rossabi emailed to me saying that I have done a good job in style. My content is always good, and grammar has been improved. I know I am good, yet not great. I expect the day when my English writing becomes grammar-error free. I don’t know if I can really have such a day or not, but my husband gave me an unhesitant positive answer. How nice a husband is!

Papers and tutors

2010-11-14T15:35:00.000-08:00

I finished the first chapter and 11 pages of the second chapter. That means I am basically keeping up with my plan. If there is no anything accident, I’ll finish the second chapter by end of this month. Then in December, I’ll have adequate time to revise them.

I really don’t like the tutor whom I am assigned in the college Writing Centre. She has completely no idea about my subject, and I can tell she is indifferent in my paper at all. It is understandable and I don’t blame her. I just feel I am unlucky. Several times I thought that I might stop to go, but I again and again tell myself that a few is better than none. So, I am keeping the tutoring appointment. The tutor I met in last two semesters was not very good either, but compared to this one, he was much better. I start to miss him.

I have to solely rely on Barry to correct my paper. Even though he is always pleasure to help me, I really don’t want to bother him too much. Professor Rossabi said he would correct my paper in the end of this semester, but I doubt if he has the time to do this for me.

My thesis statement has been approved

2010-10-10T18:41:00.001-07:00

My thesis statement was approved by both of my professors. It is very good because I have to wait their approval then can move to the next steps.
I concerned that the primary sources I have is too few. In CUNY libraries, there are very few primary sources about Chinese history. Even though they provided a very nice service, interlibrary loan, the limitation is still large. I consulted this problem to Rossabi. He said in New York City, the only place where I can find the sufficient primary sources is Columbia Universal, but he also understands that I cannot access that. Nevertheless, Rossabi thinks that for the stage to do a MA thesis, it is not necessary to refer too many primary sources. In other words, what I have is enough? It is a surprise. For me, the MA thesis is a so serious and toughest project that I have to pay my hundred percent time and energy to accomplish. However, at least I understand now that a MA thesis is definite nothing from those big professors’ point of view.

Writing the introduction of my thesis

2010-09-14T18:10:00.001-07:00

When I start to write the introduction part of my thesis, I immediately realize I am far from good, and also the result will be far from good too. Only good thing is that the process of doing this project makes me better.

Unexpectedly, I have four students studying Chinese with me now. Amy is a girl who originally came from Taiwan but grew up in America. She had already earned her MA in education major from Columbia University two years ago. Right now she is new teacher in an elementary school in NYC. Amy speaks fluent mandarin, and she studies with me only for the goal to achieve a professional writing. She has to pass a test in order to gain a certificate of bilingual teacher next month. Thus, our tutoring concentrates on the possible topics in the test. I enjoy tutoring Amy because it is a relative higher level of Chinese study. I think I am better at this than teaching people very basic pinyin or words.

Jeffery is an American young man who studied with me since today. He had gone to Chinese three years ago and been an English teacher in Shenzhen for a few weeks. His Chinese is fairly ok. He wants a tutor because he doesn’t want to forget the Chinese he already had while he lives in America. He studied finance in Boston University and wants to do business in Chinese in the future rather than being an ESL teacher. Only after I talked with him a few minutes, he asked me if I came from somewhere in south China. Ah, He recognized my accent. I had no choice but to confess I am a Sichuan people. I wish he would not run away just after this meeting.

It is really cool

2010-09-01T19:45:00.000-07:00

The 75 page thesis is my constant concern during my career of MA. I though it is a project besides 10 required courses in order to graduate. Nevertheless, to my surprise, Prof. Sen told us in his first class that the final paper of this class is to finish a chapter of our theses. In other word, one third of my thesis will be done in this class. This paper will earn double credits from both this course and the thesis. Quickly, I realize I may use prof. Rossabi’s class to complete another chapter of my thesis. If it is true, this semester I will finish around 50 pages of my thesis. Then, the rest will not be a big problem anymore. I don’t have to leave half year to do it, but can use summer or some spare time to accomplish it. Isn’t it really cool.

The first week of 2010 Fall

2010-08-27T13:43:00.001-07:00

The summer of 2010 has already passed with my regret of a lacking of a productive season. The new semester has already started since yesterday. Yesterday I went Dr. Rossabi’s class, but he did not prepare any assignment for me and asked me come to see him next Tuesday. in other word, I can only start his class after next Tuesday. Prof. Sen’s class will be on next Monday; I don’t think that will be too difficult. Thus, I really have nothing to do about my study and this weekend becomes an extension of the summer holiday.

Although anxieties of a new start are already unavoidable, I have strong confidence that I can well complete the study of this semester too. I always think about if any unpredictable thing occurs, I would not try to control my fate but only obey and accept whatever I am given.

Another reason I didn’t do more work because I deliberated to minimize the unnecessary using of computer. So, I didn’t write much bolgs, essays, or reading from the Internet. Anyway, the new semester starts, I have to back a normal but tense working schedule. Good luck, Pink tear.

A small Tang poem

2010-08-22T08:12:00.000-07:00

It is raining from yesterday night. I always enjoy rain, especial the cool summer rain. I often listen to rain near the door and windows, but rare walk in rain though I usually dream that.

This is the last Sunday of my summer holiday. Next Thursday will be the first day of the fall 2010 semester. I am worry about the new classes as usually although there is no good reason.

I’d like translate a small Tang poem because I am really touched by it.

My home country is thirty Li away and I have stayed in the secluded palace for twenty years.
While you sang my hometown song of Hemanzi, even at the first a few words, I could not control myself and a pair of tears fell down in front of you.

Kite man

2010-07-14T18:47:00.000-07:00

When I went to work this afternoon, I saw a mid-age man was flying a kite on the track of QCC. It is a simple, red, square-shape kite. I like it. Since I arrive to the college a few minutes early, so I walked around on the track a while. When I passed by the kite man again, I found there was no more kite on the sky. I asked him where the kite was. He said it was there, but I could not see. He pointed it by his finger and asked me to watch following by his direction. However, I still could not see. I realized the kite was too far away, thus became too small to see. Since the kite man knew where was it, so he felt he could see, but not anybody else. I asked whether he made this kite, he answered yes. It is really wonderful. I rarely speak with strangers, but today in such a nice cool summer day, I gained a nice experience to speak with other people.

hot, hot, hot

2010-07-05T18:09:00.001-07:00

Lately, the weather is very hot. Today is 97F, and tomorrow and the day after tomorrow will keep the same high degree. Someone said this year NYC has less rainfall than the average degree. Perhaps, this is one of the reasons that causes the high temperature. We don’t have an AC at home; fortunately, our home is not very hot. At last, we can stand it and we feel no trouble to sleep well at night. Anyway, I still wish the temperature goes down, so we’ll feel more comfortable.
Because the passed weekend was July 4 long weekend, I got four day off. Tomorrow is the day to go back work. My job is easy, but I still have a little feeling of reluctance to embrace tomorrow.

Night Rain

2010-06-22T17:25:00.001-07:00

One third of this summer is passed. I am working in Queensborough as usual. I have few things to do in Student Activities office. Sometimes, I work in ID office if they are busy or somebody gets off. The job in ID office is a sort of simple-repeating labor. For me, no matter a job is busy of idle, I accept whatever I am given.

I have not seen a colleague two weeks and assumed she quitted. However, when I told with the lady in ID office today, I found she was fired. She said, “They get ride of her… This place is disgusting.” Nobody can feel good when you see your companion fell into ill circumstance. We worry about ourselves that we may in the same situation one day.

Since I have nothing to do or nobody to speak while I work, I read books. I have borrowed many books about Buddhism and Chinese history. I wish I can have readings as wide as possible in this summer. This is the initial step I am doing for my thesis.

The night in a summer day is always long. Tonight, while I am writing my blog, a sudden rain is coming, accompanying by strong sounds of thunder. The rain is getting heavy and I am hearing the sound of the rain becoming louder and louder. Woo, how wonderful this summer night.

Forgot to lock the car

2010-06-03T12:02:00.000-07:00

I have driven to work two weeks, and get less nervous. Today, I got the office fifteen minutes early, but when I was walking into the building, I suddenly realized I forgot to lock my car which I parked on a road near the school. I put my bag in the office and ran back my car to lock it. When I finally got back to office, I got so hot.

I found I received an A on American history course too. I have so happy about the grades. I am planning to self-study about my thesis in this summer. I have already borrowed many books from the college library. When I have free time during work, I can read them. The immediate job is to decide the topic. So far, I am thinking Chinese Buddhism during Tang Dynasty. Through more reading the topic would be modified. I am enjoying the study.

First time drive to work

2010-05-25T16:29:00.000-07:00

This afternoon I drove to QCC and drove back home alone. Woo, this is my first time driving to work. I was excited and nervous. Anyway, I got home safely. It is all.
The reason I went the college is because a director from another department wants to hire me. I have already been arranged working in ID room this summer, but she need a part time person. Dr. Jean-pirrie recommended me to her. She spoke with me twice on the phone last week; thus, today I went her office to talk the details with her in person. After talked with her, I found she can only give me six hours a month, and the six hour would be divided in three days, 2 hours a day from 5pm-7pm. It is not attractive at all. Moreover, as a part-employee, I definitely cannot work more than 20 hour/week. If I work 20 hours in ID room already, how can I work with her? She could not solve the problem. I asked her to call me if she found any solution, and then left.

Do nothing

2010-05-20T15:36:00.000-07:00

I really feel bad about my final papers of Roman cities. I didn’t understand the material very well. I was unable do well. Even though the draft has been sent out, I could not get ride of the bull feeling.
I’ll start James paper tomorrow. I am only staying idle a day, but i have already feel boring. The day is soo long compared to any of my study days.

Messene: the History, People and Architecture

2010-05-19T20:39:00.000-07:00

In 369 BC, a new city Messene was founded at the foot of Mount Ithome in southern Greece under the leadership of Epaminondas. The inhabitants of the city included various ethnic groups but were mainly the former slaves of the Spartans called Helots. During the seventh century BC, the Spartans conquered the land of Messenia and enslaved the inhabitants for more than three hundred years. Although the Helots were exploited and abused and their culture and history were suppressed, they did not lose the strength to strive for freedom. In 371 BC, while Sparta was being fatally defeated by the Theban troops, the Helots took advantage of the opportunity and gained their liberty. The immediately founded city of Messene symbolized the Helots’ victory, freedom, and independence. In fact, the inhabitants’ unusual history, specifically, the Helots’ long-term struggle and conflicts with the Spartans became the critical factor that shaped the main aspects of the architecture of Messene. The fortification wall was one of the best structured defensive monuments in Greece, and the gates and towers on the wall are also worthy of detailed examination. The defensive constructions demonstrated the independence of the Helots and the rising power of the anti-Spartan alliance, and also suggested that the potential threat of Sparta and the military defense against it were still the primary concern of the city and its inhabitants. Furthermore, buildings for non-military use proceeded to fulfill the varied demands of the inhabitants during Messene’s existence until the third century AD; for instance, the Asklepieion for religious purpose and the theatre and the stadium for cultural purpose.
Although the term “Messene” appeared long before the Hellenistic Age, what exactly it referred to was uncertain. In the second century BC text Description of Greece, the author Pausanias stated that “the whole land [Messenia] receiving the name Messene from the wife of Polycaon, [the daughter of Triopas, son of Phorbas, from Arogos].” The Modern scholar Nino Luraghi offers a similar observation. “‘Messene in olden times had been the name of the whole region which in their own times was called ‘Messenia’.” It was approximately the district of the south-western part of the Peloponnese that was west of the Taygetos ridge and south of the river Neda. However, Luraghi also points out a different idea from older texts; according to the Odyssey, Messene could refer to a smaller territorial unit. Moreover, new archaeological evidence shows that “a settlement existed at the foot of Mt. Ithome in the ninth and eighth centuries.” Pausanias also mentioned that a small town existed at Mount Ithome during the Homeric period. Nevertheless, the name “Messene” was finally assigned to the particular city at Mount Ithome only after the liberty of the Helots in 369 BC. As Pausanias wrote, “[b]efore the battle which the Thebans fought with the Lacedaemonians at Leuctra, and the foundation of the present city of Messene under Ithome, I think that no city had the name Messene.”
When Messene was founded, the people living in the city included the Helots, the perioikoi, the old Messenians who were exiled after Spartan conquest, and a few other ethnic groups such as the Thebans. Among them, the population of the Helots was the largest; thus, the Helots’ three-century long servitude under the Spartans became a critical historical influence on Messenian life. In the southeast Peloponnese, Sparta was a military-oriented city-state that emerged around the tenth century BC and developed into an important state after the sixth century BC. As a part of its territorial expansion, in the later eighth century BC, Spartan forces crossed the Taygetos Mountain and reached the territory of Messenia. Through the first and the second Messenian War, until the seventh century BC, the Spartans suppressed major Messenia rebellions and completely captured the land of Messenia. Many Messenians were exiled; the rest became Helots, the slaves of the Spartans.
Despite the Helots enjoyed a few rights such as marriage and community life and some scholars preferred calling them serfs to slaves, the main picture of Messenia in this period was the Spartans’ harsh exploitation of the Helots as well as the land. The Spartans denounced the Helots’ Messenian identity, claiming because the Helots were later migrants to Messenia, they had no rights or freedom on the land. The Helots possessed no social status or rights and could be insulted or killed by the Spartan masters. The cultural heritage, social life, and education of the entire ethnic Helot group were suppressed. For example, “for the years of Spartan control the name of not a single Messenian helot is preserved, let alone their personal or communal histories.”
The Helots revolted many times throughout their servitude. Following the earthquake of 460 BC, one of the most violent and historical significant Helot revolts took place. During this uprising, Mount Ithome became the best and last place that the Helots could dwell because of its defensive advantages such as its height and steepness. “The insurgents took refuge on Mount Ithome, dwelling there (in one account) for as long as ten years before sueing for truce.” Although this revolt was eventually suppressed, it became a very important historical event for the Helots. It was one of the reasons that Mount Ithome was chosen as the holy site on which to build their city after the Helots’ final independence a century later.
In both the fifth century BC revolts and the fourth century BC establishment of Messene, various ethnic groups participated in the events; among them, perioikoi was an important one. “‘[T]he Messenians turned out to be formed by groups of various origins: Helots and perioikoi in the first case, probably Helots, perioikoi and settlers from other parts of Greece in the other.” Perioikoi were inhabitants scattered in Spartan territories who were freemen but did not have Spartan citizenship. The perioikoi occupied significant portions of Messenia although it is hard to say where they came from. As Luraghi comments, “[r]evolting against Sparta was the touchstone of Messenian identity.” “When Messenian identity surfaces for the first time in the light of history, the perioikoi also played a part --- and not on the Spartan side.” By joining in the revolts, those perioikoi identified themselves as Messenians, which allowed them to claim a right to the land of Messenia later.
In the Battle of Leuctra in 371 BC, the Thebans decisively defeated the Spartans, which dramatically changed the military and political situation in Peloponnese as well as in Greece. While the Peloponnesian war (431-404 BC) defined Sparta’s dominance among Greek city states, the Battle of Leuctra indicated the serious decline of its central power. In fact, after the war, Thebes “was recognized as the strongest single power and a dominant influence in all Greek affairs.” The Thebans’ victory and the Spartans’ defeat and withdrawal provided an excellent opportunity for the Helots to gain independence and freedom. “The news of Spartan defeat ran like wildfire through the long-subject states, and was the signal for revolt upon revolt and revolution after revolution.” Given the circumstances, this time, the Helots’ revolt succeeded. Pausanias recorded the remarkably historical scene.
The despised and abused serfs of three hundred years were proclaimed once more citizens of a free state; a city, bearing the long-proscribed name of Messene, was founded by Epaminondas on the slopes of that Mount Ithome which had seen the last heroic struggle, and word went out to the exiles of the race throughout all Hellas, to return to their liberated home.
The city Messene was quickly founded by the Helots along with people of other ethnic groups immediately after their military victory. It above all was a concrete and visible representation of the inhabitants’ ethnic identity and independence. For the Helots, freedom and happiness came along with the founding of the city. “Once freed from servitude the region’s inhabitants were well able to enumerate and praise their ancestry, their heroes, their mythic history: they apparently possessed a strong vision of just what it was to ‘be Messenian’.” Also, other ethnic groups in the anti-Spartan alliance, for example, the Thebans, used the creation of the city to demonstrate their rising power of in Greece. “By liberating Messenia from the Spartans, restoring the Messenian exiles from Naupaktos, and building these vast, modern defenses, the Thebans hoped to restore a situation which had not existed since prehistory.”
The fortification wall was not only the first monumental structure completed, but also was the most magnificent construction of Messene. Military success was the essential factor that proved the basis for all other Messenia progress. Thus, it is easy to understand why the fortification wall was built strong, grand and of high quality. “The building of the walls of Messene was one of the major feats of fourth-century military architecture; Epaminondas intended the new city to be an impregnable bastion to preserve Messenian independence.” In his famous book Description of Greece, Pausanias not only mentioned the wall but highly praised it.
Round Messene is a wall, the whole circuit of which is built of stone, with towers and battlements upon it. I have not seen the walls at Babylon or the walls of Memnon at Susa in Persia, nor have I heard the account of any eye-witness; but the walls at Ambrossos in Phocis, at Byzantium and at Rhodes, all of them the most strongly fortified places, are not so strong as the Messenian wall.
The approximately 10km fortification wall enclosed the central peaks of Mount Ithome and Mount Eva. The wall was a 2.5 m thick building of “substantial quarry-faced ashlar blocks on either side of a rubble core.” The bases of the wall were generally about 6 m in height and about 6 m wide. The northern and north-western parts of the wall were best preserved and are the finest specimens of Greek fortification in existence. However, the southern side of the wall on the slope of Mt. Eva was so badly damaged that in some places that disappeared. The enclosed territory of the wall was far larger than the area that the city needed, which strongly implied military requirements.
The wall displays in different styles and different technique in different sections, which prove that there were various ethnic groups living in Messene during the period of founding of the city who participated in construction activities. More specifically, it was people from the anti-Spartan alliance who defeated the Spartan troops and worked together to build the city and the wall. “By the joint efforts of Thebans, Arcadians, Argives, and Messenians, who together laid out streets and built houses, temples and circuit walls.” For example, the northern section of the wall was more substantial than other parts because the city was more prone to attack from the side facing Arcadia. Also, the style of the wall resembled contemporary Boiotian work.
Two gates served as main entrances to the city as well as military defensive places. The Laconian Gate was on the saddle between Mount Ithome and Mount Eva in the southeast corner of the city. The Arcadian Gate, better preserved and more impressive, was in the northern section of the wall. Being a double gate, the Arcadian Gate was an excellently military defensive spot. The outer gate was in the line of the city-wall flanked by two rectangular towers. The inner gate was formed by enormous stones with lintels. The circular court between the outer and inner gate measured about 62 feet in diameter, with excellent masonry. The open space of the court was surrounded by high walls rising 20- 22feet. The gate was designed to trap the invaders in the space and attack them from positions atop the wall. Gordon Campbell excellently explains the military device of the gate. “The 4th century BC Arcadian Gate Messene had a circular forecourt, open to the outside, which “invited” attackers to approach the closed inner gateway, thus exposing themselves to fire from all sides.” Indeed, this gate not only demonstrated the talent and efforts of the Messenians, but also confirmed the idea that military construction received the greatest concern from the inhabitants.
The wall was interrupted by varied types of towers at intervals, and the catapult towers on the west and north sections were typically examples of the military defensive function of it. An important ethnic group in Messene, the Thebans, who possessed advanced fortification-building techniques, were most likely the people who designed and constructed these towers. Tower L on the north wall had two chambers. The upper chamber stored armaments. To access to it, one must have been “by ladder and trapdoor from the lower chamber.” Windows were always essential for towers. The rectangular windows on this Tower L “have facilitated aiming and firing the catapults.” Tower N on the western section was more impressive than Tower L. Standing 9 m high on a solid base, Tower N was a round and square two-storey tower. There were two windows in the front and one in each side wall. The shape of the windows were “pentagonal and resemble enlarged arrow slits.” This tower consisted of a 0.58 m thick single chamber; the space could accommodate “three catapults mounted on stands or four hand-held catapults.” The roof of the tower was a fighting platform, adding another fighting dimension to the catapults in the chamber to achieve a more efficient defense. “The fighting platform at [Tower] N allowed the defenders to fire upon enemy soldiers who approached close enough to the wall to be out of range of the catapults, which could not be depressed much below the horizontal.” In fact, “Tower N is an excellent example of an early catapult tower. Some of the experimental features of the tower were not used in subsequent projects; other features became canonical.”
Besides important military architecture, with time, many other monumental structures were completed inside the city. Around 150 years later, the Asklepieion that served as the religious centre of Messene was built. The complex of the Asklepieion was situated to the south of the Agora of the city. In the middle, the Temple of Asklepios (26.98×12.68 m with 6×12 columns) stood within the peristyled courtyard. It was built in Doric style with an altar in front of it. Inside it was Messene’s statue in gold and Parian marble and paintings of the ancient Messenian kings were placed in the rear porch. The temple was in use until the third century AD when the city was abandoned. Pausanias described the temple. “There is a holy shrine of Demeter at Messene and statues of the Dioscuri, carrying the daughters of Leucipuus. […] The most numerous statues and the most worth seeing are to be found in the sanctuary of Asclepius.”
On the east side of the Asklepieion, there was a monumental gateway, or a propylon, leading to the ekklesiasterion. An interesting feature of Messene architecture was the positions of these constructions. “Temple, altar and gateway were set on a single axis, leading the visitor’s eye directly to the temple façade.” The ekklesiasterion “featured a 21-m wide stage and an orchestra 9.7 m in diameter, and was possibly used for musical and theatrical performances as well as public meetings.” The ekklesiasterion, or assembly house, as well as the nearby building, the Bouleuterion, or the council hall, were both annexed to the Asklepieion. Because the constructions were adjacent to each other, this area became both the religious and political centre of Messene. In addition, more buildings stood nearby. For instance, there was a cult room of Artemis and the Sebasteion to the north of the Asklepieion, and some small rooms to the west that may have been public rooms and shrines.
The theatre was located on the northwest side of the Asklepieion. It was built of small blocks on a massive quadrangular foundation in the third century BC. Statues and inscriptions found on the site of the theatre became important sources of information on the inhabitants and the history of Messene. “A long inscription recently found in the theatre in carved on the marble base for a statue of Tiberius Claudius Saethidas. It provides valuable information on the family, its donations and building activity in Messene.” One noticeable characteristic of this theatre was its rather small-size; it was only about 60 feet in diameter. Also, surprisingly, it was not built on the slope of a mountain, but “[was] built of solid masonry from the level ground up.” As a rule, a theatre was considered an important construction for Greek cultural life and was generally built on the slope of a hill in order to create a more magnificent effect; for example, the theatres in Pergamon and Epidauros. By contrasting the modest Messene theatre to the grander typical Greek theatre, one can conclude that cultural demands were not as important as military concerns for the city.
To the south of the Asklepieion, there were the library, the stadium and the gymnasium. They stood together to serve the civic needs of Messenian citizens. The library was a large square room between the Asklepieion and combined stadium and gymnasium complex. The stadium was surrounded on three sides by a colonnade. The upper level of the semicircular end was double and comprised of three rows of columns. To the south side of the stadium was bounded by what seems to have been the city-wall, and at its lower end there are some ruins of a small Doric temple, consisting of a fore-temple and a narrower cella. There was a fine limestone Doric temple that was “possibly associated with one of the distinguished founder-families of Messene.”
Contrast to modern gymnasiums, Greek gymnasiums were not merely a place to do exercise, but for training and educating young men. In the Messene gymnasium, the young men only came from the indigenous five tribes, but also included those who moved from other places or were sent to Messene to study. While they stayed in the gymnasium, they carved their names and ethnic identities on limestone columns and many other places to distinguish themselves from others. The inscriptions revealed the change and fusion of ethnic groups in the city over time. By examining the inscriptions, P. Themelis concluded that the sixth tribe of “foreigners and Romans” formed in the Augustan period were gradually absorbed into the five old tribes at the end of the first century AD.
During its several hundred years of flourishing and existence, Messene experienced many important military and political events and was eventually abandoned at the end of the fourth century AD. In 213 BC Macedonian king, Philip V visited Messene. The next year his general Demetrius of pharos attacked Messene but encountered fierce resistance from the inhabitants; Demetrius was killed in battle. In 195 BC, Messene was captured by Nabis, the tyrant of Sparta. In 191 BC Messene was forced by the Romans to join the Achaean League and in 146 BC became part of the Roman Empire. After being sacked by the Goths in 395 AD, Messene was never inhabited again and the historical site was eventually abandoned.
The foundation of the city Messene in 369 AD was an important historical event in ancient Greece. The Helots, the majority of the population of the city, had suffered more than three hundred years under the Spartan rule; the establishment of Messene became an absolutely concrete symbol of their independence and freedom. Likewise, other ethnic groups from the anti-Spartan alliance participated in building the city, which indicated that they too were victors and provided them the identity of Messene citizens. The severe previous conflicts determined that the main feature of the city architecture focused on military defense. The fortification wall, the gates, and the towers all explicitly expressed this theme. Moreover, as the city became more stable, the temples, the theatre, the gymnasium and other constructions were gradually added which revealed the cultural, religious, and other aspects of Messene.

Bibliography
Primary sources
Pausanias. Description of Greece. Vol. 2 of Book IV- Messenia. Translated by W. H. S. Jones
and H. A. Ormerod. Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 1966.

Secondary sources
Alcock, Susan E. Archaeologies of the Greek Past: Landscape, Monuments, and Memories. New York: Cambridge University Press, 2002.
Campbell, Gordon ed., The Encyclopedia of Classical Art and Architecture. Vol. 1 & 2. New
York: Oxford University Press, 2007.
Frazer J. G. Pausanias’s Description of Greece. Vol. 3 of Commentary on Books II-V. Translated
by J. G. Frazer. New York: Biblo and Tannen, 1965.
Grond, Maarten J. “Messene: City in the southern Peloponnese.” In Encyclopedia of Greece and the Hellenic Tradition, edited by Graham Speake, Vol. 2., 1036-1037. Chicago: Fitzroy Dearborn Publishers, 2000.
Hopkinson, Leslie White. Greek Leaders. New York: Libraries Press, 1969.
Luraghi, Nino. “Becoming Messenian.” Journal of Hellenic Studies 122 (2002): 45-69.
http://www.jstor.org/stable/3246204 (accessed April 20, 2010)
-------. “Helots Called Messenians?: A Note on Thucydides 1.101.2.” Classical
Quarterly 52, no. 2 (2002), 588-592. http://www.jstor.org/stable/3556424 (accessed April 20, 2010)
-------. “The imaginary conquest of the Helots.” In Helots and Their Masters in Laconia and Messenia: Histories, Ideologies, Structures. Edited by Nino Luraghi and Susan E. Alcock, 109-141. Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 2003.
Levi, Peter. Atlas of the Greek World. New York: Facts on File Publications, 1982.
Ober, Josiah. “Early artillery towers: Messenia, Boiotia, Attica, Megarid.” American Journal of
Archaeology 91, no. 4 (October 1987), 569-604. http://www.jstor.org/stable/505291
(accessed April 21, 2010)
Spawforth, Tony. The Complete Greek Temples. New York: Thames & Hudson, 2006.
Themelis, P. “Roman Messene. The Gymnasium.” The Greek East in the Roman Context
Proceedings of a Colloquium, ed. by Olli Salomies. Vol. 7. Helsinki: the Finnish
Institute at Athens, 2001.

An A on Messene paper

2010-05-19T20:38:00.000-07:00

I sent out the take-home final essays of History 710 today a few hours ago. I was so luck that this afternoon I went school writing centre in which met a very nice tutor. She helped me to go over the two essays, totally eight pages. I didn’t expect a tutor to help me in organization and content, but merely for some grammatical errors that I could not have self-realization. She certainly did what I expected, and I am satisfied. Although there is another essay from another class, it is too short to request much concern or to get pressure. I’ll go back work until next Wednesday, and have a plenty of time to finish the two-page essay. Thus, it seems my summer holiday is coming.

I got an A on Messene paper. In the beginning of the semester, I told myself that I thought Professor Allen was a fair rather than easy professor. If he could get me an A, then I would believe I am really ok. However, when I positively got an A on a research paper from him, I still felt uncertain, asking myself an unsolvable question, “do I really deserve this grade? Or is it only because the professor pities me?” I spent too much effort on the Messene paper. Now there are merely a few useless sheets of paper left on my table. But I do not regret.

I am planning doing nothing tomorrow, but since now, I am bored. I profoundly understood that I could never stop perusing formal study; otherwise, I must turn to be the dullest housewife in the world. Pressure, busy, and suffering are all necessary factors to make the life could be felt meaningful.

Last week of Spring 2010

2010-05-12T09:44:00.001-07:00

This week is the last week of the spring 2010 semester. Tomorrow and Thursday I’ll have the last classes of my two courses. In the History 710, Professor Allen will return the research papers to us. I really have no idea what grade I will get. I wish I can get an A-. I’ll hand in the Du Bois paper to Professor Scott on Thursday. I will not get this paper back and never know what the grade is.

I won’t go to work tomorrow because Ray asked me to work on Friday instead. He needs some more people to go to City Hall to protest. Right now, I don’t know what it is exactly for. Thus, I’ll have two days to ready William James’s book, The Varieties of Religious Experience. Also, I am not studying tonight. At least, I don’ think I have to. If something I can do tomorrow, I never want to do today. I am watching Chinese drama. It is very fun and I feel at least it is not as stupid as the majority of Chinese drama.

An A on History 710 Mid-term exam

2010-04-21T20:52:00.000-07:00

I received 96 on the mid-term exam of History 710 from Professor Allen. Professor Allen is not only far form easy, but also has no affection on me at all. So I think the score is more likely a fair one and am overjoyed by it.

I have been suffering from the research paper of Messene since two or three weeks ago. it is a brand new topic to me and it should be 10-12 page long. I thought to use two weeks to finish it, because I don’t have too much time to pay on this paper only. But now, seem as the paper turning to be an endless project. The planning end date has been postponed again and again. I took four annual leaving days in the two weeks from QCC in order to concentrate on this paper. Anyway, more than half part of it is done, another half is forming. I wish I can finish it in next week.

A potential A paper

2010-04-01T21:12:00.000-07:00

My tutor said this is a graduate paper supposed to be. Barry likes this paper too. So, I definitely expect an A on this paper.

Ralph Waldo Emerson and the Promise and Perils of Individualism

From the 1830s through the1850s in America, particularly in the Northeast and Middle West, there was a lyceum movement of scholars lecturing in public institutions on a wide range of secular topics such as philosophy, literature, and thoughts about society. The audiences, including college students, clergymen, and other educated classes, who exclusively studied the knowledge of European philosophy, were now inspired by the originally intellectual thought of American lectures. Among those lecturers, Ralph Waldo Emerson is one of the most important philosophers and writers in American history. Although each of Emerson’s essays has its own emphasis, they all stick to the central idea that every human being should develop his or her own understanding of the universal reality through independent study, experience, and thinking. While Emerson extremely emphasizes individualism, he examines both promising and perilous perspectives of it. On the one hand, individualism offers promise because its emphasis on creativity and action are essential to improve society and human development. On the other hand, individualism is perilous because being an individualist means being different from other people and the conventions of society. Individual thinking and action are full of danger and challenge and require much courage. In his most influential essay, “Nature,” Emerson criticizes the conventional wisdom that people should gain their knowledge by learning from the past and other people. In contrast, he asserts that human beings can realize the ultimate reality of the universe by studying nature in an individual way. In the essay, “Self-Reliance,” Emerson promotes the important components of individualism, such as self-trust, truth, and non-conformity, and also stresses the great perils of individualism.
In “Nature,” Emerson examines the relationship between human beings and nature and asserts that an individual should depend on his or her own instincts to understand the world. In the first sentence of the essay, Emerson explicitly points out the defect of the intellectual circumstance of his generation. “Our age is retrospective” (35). Basically, he says that people’s way of thinking is rooted in reminiscences of the past; nothing is related to the present, fresh or original. Emerson claims that “[i]t builds the sepulchers of the fathers” (35). Retrospect and reminiscence are a kind of emotion relevant to dead fathers’ tombs, but sadly, they become the primary thinking of the all living generations. Emerson goes on, “it writes biographies, histories, and criticism” (35). This statement reveals a distressing truth that people now take second-hand knowledge as their source to explore the universe and the human society. Emerson poignantly condemns this fact. “The foregoing generations beheld God and nature face to face; we, through their eyes” (35). Former philosophers analyzed the universe through their direct contact with the universe and analyzed human beings and society through their direct contact with human beings and society. In contrast, people now depend on the previous knowledge in books to form all their understanding of the real world.
Emerson forcefully argues that individuals are supposed to learn from direct contact with nature. He asks, “[w]hy should not we also enjoy an original relation to the universe? Why should not we have a poetry and philosophy of insight and not of tradition, and a religion by revelation to us, and not the history of theirs?” (35) If people in the past could develop their original philosophy, religion, poetry, why shouldn’t we? Every human being is a manifestation of the universe, and everyone could reflect the ultimate reality of the universe. The key point is to sweep away the dust of society and history and then one could return to the beginning stage of oneself. Likewise, in the “Beauty” section of “Nature”, Emerson writes, “[e]very natural action is graceful” (45). “A single object is only so far beautiful as it suggests this universal grace” (47). In other words, a natural action and phenomenon is an equivalent of a universal action and phenomenon. When one gets closer to nature, he or she gets closer to a universal condition. When a thing or a life reaches the pure stage of nature, it achieves a perfect condition. The phrase “I am nothing; I see all” in “Nature” additionally confirms this idea (39). “Nothing” here means removing all man-made impression, emotion, thoughts, and leaving oneself with one’s innate existence beyond any social or human impact. In this way, a person could again be a part of nature. Despite the tininess of a human being compared to the world, one’s essence and nature would be united. For this reason, “I” represents all and “I see all.”
In the end of the first paragraph of “Nature”, Emerson encourages the audience to create a completely new intellectual world. He firmly rejects the fact that people take the knowledge from previous philosophers and writers without their own examination. Ancient knowledge is referred as “the dry bones of the past” by Emerson (35). In the essay “The American Scholar,” Emerson expresses similar ideas toward books as well. “[Books] are for nothing but to inspire” (88). “When he can read God directly, the hour is too precious to be wasted in other men’s transcripts of their readings” (89). Everybody has the capacity to gain full knowledge of the universe from his or her instinct and nature; books can be supplemental materials, but it would be harmful if people were to completely depend on them.
In this passage, Emerson demonstrates his intention to change the audience’s fundamental thoughts about the universe, nature, history and society and provides the idea that individualism offers lofty promise to the new nation of the U.S. He urges independent and original thinking and action, and considers them as the sole way to achieve true intellectual independence for the people and society of America. He passionately proclaims “the sun shines to-day also. […] There are new lands, new men, new thoughts. Let us demand our own works and laws and worship” (35). Although the U.S. had existed only for a few decades, Emerson saw unlimited potential in this promising land. Nevertheless, because of the strong tendency that people usually have to follow traditions, the ideological change that Emerson suggested would not be sudden or dramatic, but slow, invisible, and at a steady pace.
In his essay “Self-Reliance,” Emerson additionally confirms the idea of thinking and action based on one’s own natural instincts. It is perhaps radical that Emerson claims that “[n]o law can be sacred to me but that of my nature. […]. The only right is what is after my constitution; the only wrong what is against it” (179). In comparison with quiet and solitary reading, one can easily image how powerful the scene is that the audiences crowded around Emerson and listen to his eloquent speech in person. In such a circumstance, the impact of the unusual declaration could be profound to awaken the audience’s self-consciousness of individualism. In truth, the message Emerson intends to deliver here is that individuals should really trust their own instincts. He urges the audience to be themselves and not to imitate anybody else, regardless how great a person seems or how great an idea appears. Every individual is valuable in a unique way. Individuals should try their best to achieve the best understanding of the ultimate reality, and they also should trust their own endeavor and their intellectual achievement. The confidence in one’s instincts and conviction is the fundamental basis for everybody to perform anything else in the world. It is also one of the most important ideas that Emerson wants to provide to his audience.
In comparison with “Nature,” which offers the promising perspective of individualism, in the essay “Self-Reliance,” Emerson explains how society contradicts self-reliance and individualism. Emerson writes that “[t]hese are the voices which we hear in solitude, but they grow faint and inaudible as we enter into the world” (178). Living in a society, individuals have to interact with numerous things and circumstances that are not only trivial but dangerous for one’s spiritual improvement. While individuals get more involved in society, they have fewer chances to listen to their inner voice, and they are walking opposite destination from their natural instinct. Emerson believes that “Society everywhere is in conspiracy against the manhood of every one of its members” (178). In other words, the fundamental principle of society is against the instinct of individuals. The reason is that “Society is a joint-stock company, in which the members agree, for the better securing of his bread to each shareholder, to surrender the liberty and culture of the eater” (178). Society is a man-made phenomenon for human survival as well as to achieve a better living. However, beyond this practical purpose, Emerson realizes that individuals are forced to lose their spiritual independence and freedom in order to maintain a society. Emerson unfolds the deep implication of society that “[t]he virtue in most request is conformity. Self-reliance is its aversion. It loves not realities and creators, but names and customs” (178).
Since society and individualism are two contradictory concepts, it is understandable that there are great perils for individualists to live in a society, and consequently, courage becomes one of the most outstanding attributes that individualists are supposed to possess. Society demands individuals to forget themselves but submissively follow social conventions and customs. In contrast, individualism insists individuals who think and act independently, relying on their own natural instinct. Society constantly advocates conformity but individualism absolutely rejects this notion. For instance, Emerson cries, “imitation is suicide” (176). Nevertheless, Emerson is profoundly aware of the dangers of nonconformity in a society. “For nonconformity the world whips you with its displeasure” (182). Self-trust means distrusting all conventional phenomena, challenging the majority of people and tradition, and losing the support of society, family, and church. It is a great challenge that demands great courage to fulfill. Emerson illustrates many aspects of the peril; for example, “[t]he other terror that scares us from self-trust is our consistency; a reverence for our past act or word because the eyes of others have no other data for computing our orbit than our past acts, and we are loth to disappoint them” (182). It is common that people do many things without true reasons but merely for following “our past acts” or other people. From the point of view of individualism, such actions are completely irrational because they violate the principle that one does everything based on his or her true understanding of the world. However, it demands great courage, for an individual stops performing those actions because of the imaginable difficulties such as misunderstanding, condemnation, and hostility. Without courage, an individualist would inevitably fall into the condition of conformity.
Besides courage, action is crucial for individualism as well. It is not easy that individuals keep independent thinking; however, it is even harder for people to have action based on their own thought but disregard social conventions. Emerson claims that “no man can come near me but through my act” (192). “Your genuine action will explain itself and will explain your other genuine actions. Your conformity explains nothing” (184). Only through performing true individual actions can one really be creative and contribute to other people and human evolution. Not only in “Self-Reliance” but also in the essay “The American Scholar,” Emerson stresses the necessity of action. “Action is with the scholar subordinate, but it is essential. Without it he is not yet man. Without it thought can never ripen into truth” (91). Everybody knows the fact that scholars mainly focus on thought. However, as a mental action, thought must be related to real action in order to become productive.
In addition, somebody may question individualism by asking if people no longer follow a universal morality, but all act according to their own moral consideration, how social would avoid falling into anarchy. In fact, Emerson’s writing proves false this assumed peril of individualism. Individualism does not suggest that everybody possess absolute freedom; in contrast, it means everybody should put much effort to achieve the stage of self-realization and self-conduct. Founding the true nature is important for everybody. As long as it is one’s true nature, it must be universally suitable for everybody. Thus, Emerson explicitly claims that “[t]o believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all man ---that is genius. Speak your latent conviction, and it shall be the universal sense” (175). Individualism could never cause anarchy, but can only produce harmony.
In Emerson’s essays, individualism is the most prominent feature he wants to provide to the audience. Individualism refers the idea that individuals should learn the ultimate reality of the universe from their own contact with nature. Reading books is not recommended if one solely depends on books to gain his or her knowledge. While Emerson asserts the fact that individualism is promising, he does not overlook the great perils of individualism. Being different from social conventions and traditions is indeed perilous; thus, Emerson promotes courage and action as the most important values of individualism. In the 1830s and 1840s, Emerson’s lectures were extremely appealing to the audience because of the significant implications of individualism, including originality, creativity, and activity. On this ideological basis, contemporary Americans could abandon European heritage and start to forge a true American intellectual independence.

Work Cited
Emerson, Ralph Waldo. Nature and Selected Essays. New York: Penguin Group, 2003.

Spring Break

2010-03-28T17:08:00.001-07:00

Spring break is coming. The end of the break is the due day of the take home mid-term exam of my ancient urbanism course. It is two 2 ½ page papers. I have half finished the first one, but feel it is so difficult. I gave myself a lot of excuse to refuse to work on it. I don’t know how I can finish it.

I got an A- on my first American history paper. Even though I am aware of the difficulties of Jefferson’s book, I am still somehow disappointed. I always expect As because I don’t take too many courses and always leave enough time to study. I don’t lose any chance to get assistance from other people or institutions. Anyway, I accept the fact, and try to do better in the future.

Next week there is no class, but I need work from Monday to Wendesday. I will use my work time to study the mid-term papers.

Emerson Paper

2010-03-19T18:17:00.000-07:00

I finished my second paper of the course of American history. The topic is about Emerson and his ideas on nature and individualism. When I wrote Jefferson’s paper, I felt Jefferson’s book is hard to be understood. But, I realized that Emerson’s writing was even harder. I think one of the reasons could be that Emerson is a poet and philosopher. Even though I could not understand many parts of Emerson’s essays, the understandable parts are very interesting to me. It is intellectual pleasure.

Barry likes to talk with me the paper of Emerson too. He said I mixed some Buddhist idea into my Emerson paper. When I mentioned this point to my writing tutor, he said he didn’t think like that way. Probably, it is because he doesn’t have too much knowledge about Eastern philosophy. But he is really awesome that I can perceive his high level understanding of philosophy.

My MA thesis is supposed to be 75 page in lengthy. When I think about how many hours I need to compose a 6 page paper, I really cannot image how I can finish the thesis. Anyway, I am starting thinking about it now. If I have free time in the summer, I’d like concentrate on the initial work of it.

Sometimes I ask myself if it is worthy to spend much of my life time on solitary reading and writing. Can I do something else less pressure and more exciting? However, I have to admit that I value the pressure. It is the most important factor to stimulate my ultimate success.

The Tutor of this Semester

2010-02-17T17:20:00.000-08:00

This afternoon I first time met my writing tutor of this semester. To my surprise, the college Writing Center assigned my old tutor from last semester to me again. I have a conflicting feeling towards him. On the one hand, he is indeed a knowledgeable person. Today he told me that he will to go Yale University graduate school to study American intellectual history. His concentrating field is just what I am studying now. Probably just for this reason, the Center assigned graduated students to him. On the other hand, he provides limited service during the one hour tutoring session. He is polite but shows little passion to help others. I am not satisfied although I understand that I should not complain. As long as I learn something from him, no matter how great or how tiny, I must appreciate.

History 710 Urbanism in Antiquity

2010-02-04T21:27:00.001-08:00

The course Urbanism in Antiquity deals with ancient cities of Greece and Roman only. I should realize this early because the concept of ancient history is very different between American’s and mine. From Western point of view, ancient history refers ancient Greece and Roman, which are the direct source of modern Western civilization. Indian or Chinese ancient history would not be called ancient history but be categorized to Indian or Chinese history. Thus, my dream to study Indus cities or Chinese medieval city Chang’an in this course became in vain.

Greek and Roman history is completely new subject for me. When I mentioned this in the self-introduction in the first class, the professor asked if anybody else has never studied ancient history either. The result is that around one third people in the class is in the same boat with me. Although I must need to spend a lot time to get into this new and broad topic, I feel it is interesting and have the confidence to do well.

I got a sense that Professor Allen must be a very understanding person from a small thing in the first class. Unlike most professors, who usually expect student participating as more as possible, Professor Allen said that somebody likes talk, but somebody likes study quietly; it is nothing wrong with somebody doesn’t talk in the class because everybody has his or her own way to study. Thus, instead of class participation, deportment occupies 10% of a student’s final grade in this class. I appreciate it.

My first A paper in my graduate school

2010-01-28T11:00:00.000-08:00

Mahatma Gandhi’s Diet and Fasting

In colonial India, the British not only ruled over India politically, militarily, and economically, but claimed cultural and religious superiority over India as well. To preserve their dignity and to fundamentally challenge the unequal and unjust relationships between the British and the Indians, the Indians asserted their own culture and civilization was morally superior to that of the British. Gandhi proclaimed that modern civilization was materially-oriented but ancient Indian civilization was spiritually-oriented and forcefully attacked the former and passionately promoted the latter. In fact, Gandhi himself could be the best symbol of how a spiritually-oriented human being could live. As two of his important personal activities, diet and fasting were representative of the anti-material but strong spiritual life he chose. They not only demonstrated Gandhi’s thoughts about the relationship between the body and the spirit, but also reflected his political principles such as nonviolence and satyagraha and contributed to his political achievement. Gandhi basically stuck to a vegetarian diet his whole life, and he gradually simplified his diet even more in his later age. Through diet control, Gandhi perfected his self-restraint to improve soul-force. Likewise, fasting was a highly spiritual practice that radically denied the basic material demands of human beings. Gandhi considered fasting indispensable practice for him and his fasting influenced civilizations throughout the world. Fundamentally, Gandhi’s fasting related to the ideas of suffering and love that became one of his methods to achieve satyagraha. Another important reason that Gandhi emphasized on diet and fasting was because there was an intimate relationship between diet and fasting and brahmacharya, or to conquer one’s passions. Gandhi experimented with various foods and fasts to keep the brahmacharya vow. Moreover, Gandhi’s dietary choices and fasting provided practical help in his political career. For instance, his extremely simple diet and dedicated fasting enhanced his saintly image which was important to his leadership of the masses. Some of his fasts in his old age produced concrete outcomes at critical moments.
It was natural for Gandhi to eat a vegetarian diet because of his family religion and Indian traditions. Vegetarianism has a long history and is closely related to religions in India. Around the fifth century BCE, Buddhism and Jainism, two of the most influential religions in Indian history, were established. Both Buddhists and Jains believed that all living beings were equal, and it was not right to kill and eat animals to sustain human bodies. They promoted the principle of ahimsa, or nonviolence, denounced any violent action and avoided hurting any living beings in any form. This religious doctrine became the primary source of the development of vegetarianism in India. Poverty was anther important reason that resulted in the popularity of vegetarianism in India. Many Indians were unable to afford meat and were forced to depend on vegetables to survive. In Gandhi’s family, his mother was a devoted religious person who believed in Vaishnavism, a school of Hinduism. She was not only a strict vegetarian, but also serious about self-restraint and self-discipline. Gandhi recalled, “[t]he outstanding impression my mother has left on my memory is that of saintliness. She was deeply religious. She would not think of taking her meals without her daily prayers.” The fact that Gandhi developed his vegetarian diet in his young age not only led him to eat simple food, but also offered him the idea of nonviolence and helped him to build up the ability of spiritual self-restraint.
Since his early years, Gandhi had the ambition to better Indian conditions and did a dramatic experiment on his diet. In Gandhi’s high school years, he started to eat meat to get physically strong. Gandhi explained the reason, “I wished to be strong and daring and wanted my countrymen also to be such, so that we might defeat the English and make India free.” This experiment lasted more than a year, ending when Gandhi realized that vegetarianism was not the real reason for the weakness of the Indian people. “There are many other causes incessantly at work to account for the proverbial weakness.” Vegetarian diet was efficiently enough to sustain the body; there was no relationship between eating meat and the strength of a body. The strongest power of human beings was their soul force rather than physical force. Throughout Gandhi’s entire life, he constantly advocated soul force as the unrivaled weapon to win the heart of one’s enemy.
Western influences reinforced Gandhi’s faith in vegetarianism. When Gandhi studied in England, although encountering many objections and difficulties, he firmly refused to eat meat because he had made a vow to his mother. Finally, he found a vegetarian restaurant in London, made vegetarian friends, and organized a vegetarian club. He was attracted by Western writers’ books about vegetarianism and was noticeably affected by their ideas. Human beings were not a higher race than animals, nor had more value than them. Henry S. Salt claimed that “an animal has his proper work to do in the world, his own life to live, as surely as a man.” Gandhi stated that he become a vegetarian by choice after reading Salt’s Plea for Vegetarianism. Also, Howard William’s The Ethics of Diet and Dr. Anna Kingsford’s The Perfect Way in Diet were examples of those books that affected Gandhi’s belief in vegetarianism. When Gandhi was in England, economic and hygienic concerns were the primary reasons for Gandhi’s vegetarian diet, but the seed of the religious aspect of vegetarianism was growing. Russian writer and thinker Leo Tolstoy later inspired the belief of vegetarianism in Gandhi from the religious and moral point of view. While Gandhi’s diet became simpler and simpler as time went on, it was no longer merely an action about eating and drinking, but incorporated and demonstrated Gandhi’s unique thoughts about life.
One critical aspect of Gandhi’s diet was his belief in self-restraint. Many people eat food excessively to enjoy the physical pleasure of the palate, but do not think of the questions of health and self-control. Gandhi disagreed with this point and insisted that individuals should be self-restrained in their eating as well as in all other conducts. Gandhi had claimed that his life consisted by countless experiments seeking Truth, which included a great number of experiments on his diet. He tried many ways to find the simplest food to sustain the body; experimenting with uncooked food and fruit diet, examining whether it is necessary for human to drink milk. He finally found that fruits and nuts were the fittest food for him and persisted in eating this diet. Gandhi articulated that “man eats not for enjoyment but to live.” If a person was simply guided by his natural desires without self-control, he would degenerate to the animal level. In contrast, “a man who can control his passions […] is fit for swarajya.” Gandhi stated “if I had failed to develop restraint to the extent that I have, I should have descended lower than the beasts and met my doom long ago. However, […] I made great efforts to get rid of them, and thanks to this endeavour I have all these years pulled on with my body and put in with it my share of work.”
Long-term self-restraint on diet would increase one’s spiritual force. Eating tasty food and enjoying the accompanying physical pleasure are natural attributes of human beings. Voluntarily choosing to eat tasteless food and not satisfy one’s biological demands require a spiritual power of self-restraint. Moreover, eating is not a one-time task but constantly occurs day after day, month after month in one’s whole life. It is easy to control oneself occasionally, but persistent self-restraint is absolutely difficult. Gandhi used to be a “heavy eater” and enjoyed food. The fact that he could gradually reach an extremely simple diet indicated his constant training in self-restraint. Through the process of self training and self-restraint, his spiritual power was increasing. Here, Gandhi expressed an idea that he was a common person who was constantly trying to put his physical body and biological desires under spiritual control. Only by doing that, one could reach complete liberty and morality.
More importantly, Gandhi believed that the individual was the most important force in a country and spiritual force was one of the essential ways for them to participate in nonviolent resistance. In contrast to the common notion that a government was all-powerful but individuals were powerless, Gandhi argued that the government could not work without people’s cooperation. Thus, non-cooperation on the part of individual acting together could make people as powerful as the government. At the same time, Gandhi insisted that “India’s freedom lies only through non-violence, and no other method.” For this reason, he combined non-violence and civil disobedience together as an important political method to fight the injustices of the British government. However, non-violent resistance was not an easy task. It required real courage and individual spiritual force equal to or greater than that of a soldier in the battlefield. A coward could never endure the physical as well as spiritual suffering accompaning nonviolent resistance. Even a physical strong man might be able to withstand the strain. Thus, Gandhi’s self-restraint and self-training on diet became significantly connected to his political striving.
Gandhi’s dietetic self-restraint was connected to brahmacharya, one of the fundamental principles of his ideology. Brahmacharya basically means to conquer one’s passions. In other words, an individual makes himself or herself become the master of his or her body and mind, rather than being pushes around by physical as well as mental desires. A brahmachari is “capable of knowing himself who brings under complete subjection all his passions.” Brahmacharya had political importance because without it, one could neither understand satyagraha, nor serve society well. Joseph Alter noticed that “[t]he connection between satyagraha and brahmacharya is critical, and in his autobiography Gandhi pointed out that the latter provided the only means of realizing the former.”
The most important practice of brahmacharya was celibacy. According to Gandhi, sex for children was love, but sex for pleasure was sin. After Gandhi had four children, he did not want to have more children. However, he agreed with no methods of contraception except self-restraint. He recalled that “[he had] encountered many difficulties in trying to control passion as well as taste.” However, since he realized “the principle of pleasure in any form prevented a realization of Truth,” he was determinedly against lust and appetite.
Gandhi struggled towards brahmacharya several years and finally took a vow in 1906. The human body is constantly changing by consuming and excreting, and eating different foods directly results in different conditions of the body. For example, a plain diet provides less stimulation to the body physically. Since Gandhi was aware of “an intimate connection between diet and brahmacharya, ” he kept many records about how he tried various foods in order to achieve brahmacharya. He found that “milk was not necessary for supporting the body,” but “stimulated animal passion.” Also, “a brahmachari benefited by a saltless diet.” Finally, he claimed that “the brahmachari’s ideal food is fresh fruit and nuts.”
Furthermore, Gandhi asserted there was a relationship between individuals’ diet and morals from the ideological perspective. Gandhi learnt from Western writers that “man’s supremacy over the lower animals meant not that the former should prey upon the latter, but that the higher should protect the lower, and that there should be mutual aid between the two as between man and man.” From this point of view, it is immoral to kill animals for human’s sake. If people understood that they were supposed to protect lower beings, they would naturally contemplate the relationship between human beings. Thus, the unjust social and political relationships such as caste and the British rule in India are thrown into question. In his book, Hind Swaraj, Gandhi stated that it was urgent to make all Indian feel a certain “discontent and unrest.” He cautioned the evil aspects of modern material civilization and advocated to reestablish spiritual-oriented ancient Indian civilization. Keeping a vegetarian, simple, and self-restrained diet was just a right way to lead a moral and spiritual life. “Gandhi came to the realization that a science of diet provided that means by which to effect moral change on a large scale.” In addition, Gandhi urged every Indian to live in this way in order to invigorate India. “Gandhi was interested in the success of his own experiments primarily to the extent that others might learn form them and subscribe to a regimen of self-discipline. […] He wanted to persuade people to change their way of life in order to rebuild India.”
Not only did Gandhi’s concerns and experiments on diet connect to his many political principles, but practically benefited his political career as well. When Gandhi studied in England, because of his enthusiasm for vegetarianism, he made a lot of new friends and expanded his social circle. His vegetarian friends introduced a variety of Western books and Christianity to him which helped him to learn about Western civilization. Gandhi started a vegetarian club in Bayswater, England. By doing that, Gandhi gained the experience to organize institutions. As Gandhi recalled, “this brief and modest experience gave me some little training in organizing and conducting institutions.” He made a public speech to his vegetarian friends before his departure for home. Gandhi was famous for his shyness in his young age. Although it took a long time for him to get over it, his activities in the vegetarian club certainly gave him a good start for his public life. In addition, regardless whether Gandhi was in England, in South Africa, or in India, he was constantly surrounded by many vegetarian friends and colleagues. For instance, in Phoenix settlement and Tolstoy Farm, the members all kept a vegetarian diet. Because those people shared the same thoughts on vegetarianism with Gandhi, it is easier them to understand the principle of universal love and nonviolence; consequently, they could provide greater support to Gandhi in his political striving than others who had no faith in vegetarianism.
Gandhi’s simple diet was related to his economic concern for India as well. During the colonial period, besides being oppressed by the English political rule, India was impoverished by the English economic exploitation. In Hind Swaraj, Gandhi condemned modern civilization for it encouraged unlimited individual material desires. In contrast, he felt that based on the difficult situation in India, controlling one’s material desires and leading a simple life were just the right way that every Indian should follow. Gandhi himself discarded Western lifestyle and led an ascetic life with minimal diet and clothes in his middle age. As Western writers perceived, “a vegetarian diet was the least expensive.” If people lived on a vegetarian diet and take a portion of food only to sustain their bodies, they would maximize their contribution of food supplies to others. Moreover, Gandhi’s voluntarily giving up the physical pleasure and identifying himself as poor formed his saint-like image, which greatly appealed to the majority of Indians who struggled in poverty. Consequently, when Gandhi called for a mass movement, he received immeasurable responses from the Indian people.
Fasting, like diet, was also about the relationship between the body and food. In fact, although Gandhi’s fasting shared some similar characteristics with his diet, it possessed many different features. Gandhi’s initial practice and understanding of fasting basically followed the Indian traditions. In Indian society, people primarily fasted for religious purposes and followed religious rituals. “The Hindus believe that a fasting person will ascend to the heaven of that god in whose name he observes the fast.” From a more practical perspective, fasting could help individuals to build up a harmonious relationship between the body and the soul, or they fasted to cleanliness and health. There were various methods and regulations for fasts, some being stricter than others, which depended on particular conditions and individual beliefs. Gandhi described his general practice for fasting in his early age; “Hindus allow themselves milk and fruit on a fasting day, […] such fast I had been keeping daily.” His motivations for fasting included health, purification and self-restraint, but did not have a political importance yet.
Gandhi’s interest in fasting greatly increased during the period when he took the brahmacharya vow. As mentioned above, Gandhi believed that the practice of brahmacharya was one of the critical factors for accomplishing satyagraha. He discovered diet was an important factor to fulfill brahmacharya, because by choosing different food, one can efficiently control one’s body and mind. Besides his concern about diet, Gandhi started seriously thinking about fasting. “As an external aid to brahmacharya, fasting is as necessary as selection and restriction in diet.” Gandhi recalled that in Tolstoy Farm around 1906, “[a]t that time I did not understand, nor did I believe in, the efficacy of fasting. But seeing that the friend I have mentioned was observing it with benefit, and with the hope of supporting the brahmacharya vow, I followed his example and began keeping the Ekadashi fast. […] I began complete fasting, allowing myself only water.” Gandhi was pleased by this experiment of fasting, he claimed, “I am convinced that I greatly benefited by it both physically and morally.” He added that “a fast undertaken for fuller self-expression, for attainment of the spirit’s supremacy over the flesh, is a most powerful factor in one’s evolution.” Essentially, Gandhi regarded fasting as the most important method to purify his spiritual world and the basis of all the rest of his activities. Gandhi said, “[fasting is] a part of my being. I can as well do without my eyes, for instance, as I can without fasts. What the eyes are for the outer world, fasts are for the inner.”
Gandhi especially emphasized the point that fasting must be united with the body and the mind. He claimed that “there is nothing so helpful and cleansing as a fast accompanied by the necessary mental cooperation.” On the surface, fasting is a physical action about the suspension of food supply to the body; however, on a deeper level, it is about the individual’s ability to control his or her biological desires. Since conquering oneself is always a difficult thing, Gandhi stressed that individuals were supposed to depend on soul force to achieve self-control. In comparison with controlling one’s diet to train one’s self-restraint and soul force, fasting might be an even more radical form. Without a well-managed mind, fasting would be a dangerous act. “Fasting can help to curb animal passion, only if it is undertaken with a view to self-restraint. […] if physical fasting is not accompanied by mental fasting, it is bound to end in hypocrisy and disaster.” Gandhi said, “My experience teaches me that, for those whose minds are working towards self-restraint, dietetic restrictions and fasting are very helpful. In fact, without their help concupiscence cannot be completely rooted out of the mind.”
In Gandhi’s life, he fasted privately as well as publicly on different occasions. Those fasts either had moral significance, or made political impacts. For example, in 1913, Gandhi fasted at the Phoenix settlement to respond to the misdeeds of young members. In 1924, he fasted 21 days to bring attention to the conflicts between Hindus and Moslims. In 1932, he vowed to "fast unto death" to against untouchability. Gandhi also fasted for self-purification and against violence and against the British government. Compared to his diet, which chiefly affected his personal life, Gandhi’s public fasting made a strong impact on society, and helped to reach a compromise between conflicting parties. “Many of the fasts unto death he undertook were pivotal in the sequence of events that led up to independence and had the effect, if not the intent, of making him the focus of intense national and international attention. […] these fasts also forced issues of caste, communal, and colonial injustices to critical points of at least contingent conclusion, if not final resolution.”
Despite the various places, time, and causes of Gandhi’s fasts, the fundamental principles remained unchanged. Fasting demonstrated Gandhi’s fundamental beliefs of truth, love, morality and manifested his political principles of nonviolence and satyagraha. Since Truth is infinitive, nobody could claim that he or she completely understands Truth, but in fact everybody knows Truth partially. For this reason, a person should respect other’s understanding of the world and different opinions on any particular event. Fasting could inspire others but “should not and could not be coercive.” It should never be an act designed to embarrass or insult one’s opponents. Furthermore, Gandhi explicitly insisted that there was a distinction between evil and evil-doers. He renounced evil deeds forcefully, but had fully confidence to convert everyone to be good due to his optimistic belief in the positive potential of human beings. Gandhi affirmed rational discussions should be the best way to solve any conflict in the world. Only after all possible methods towards rational discussion with his opponents failed, Gandhi used fasting as the last tool. Fasting presented the love of others and the world through self-suffering. Gandhi claimed, “[w]e can only win over the opponent by love, never by hate. Hate is the subtlest form of violence. We cannot be really non-violent and yet have hate in us.” Also, “a satyagrahi relied on the power of suffering love.” Parekh analyzed the process of how self-suffering affected one’s opponent.
The satyagrahi’s love and moral nobility weakened his opponent’s feelings of anger and hatred, awakened his sense of decency and humanity and morally transformed him; his uncomplaining suffering generated a sense of shame in him, denied him the pleasure of victory, mobilised public opinion and created a mood conducive to calm introspection. The two together triggered off the complex process of critical self-examination on which a satyagraha relied for its success.
Gandhi undertook a seven day private fast in his satyagrahi community, in Phoenix settlement, South Africa in 1913. In the community, Gandhi was considered the teacher of the young people who lived there. Once, when Gandhi found some serious misdeeds committed by two young people, he decided to “impose upon [himself] a fast for seven days and a vow to have only one meal a day for a period of four months and a half.” Through this fast, on the one hand, Gandhi expressed his hurt and disappointment as well as his responsibility and atonement for the young people; on the other hand, members in the settlement perceived Gandhi’s sacrifices and suffering and were emotionally moved. Gandhi was not the person who committed the misdeeds, but because he believed that all human beings were essentially one and acknowledged other’s faults as his; he voluntarily suffered in order to atone for the wrong-doers. Gandhi described that his “penance pained everybody, but it cleared the atmosphere.” The basis of the fast was the love between the teacher and the students; without it, this fast became meaningless. Bhikhu Parekh commented that “[Gandhi] was not fasting against strangers, for that would be coercion, nor for personal gain and glory, for that would be moral and emotional blackmail. […] His fast was really a ‘voluntary crucifixion’ of his flesh for their moral uplift, which he had both a right and a duty to undertake.”
Gandhi’s first well-known public fasting took place in 1918 in Ahmedabad for bringing about a resolution to the textile worker’s strike. Gandhi led the strike to help these textile workers to strive for their rights. However, as the strike went on, the workers had to accept increasing loss and unbearable difficulties, but they noticed that Gandhi lost nothing for he was essentially an outsider. Gandhi realized the problem; he said, “[t]he strikers had begun to totter. I felt deeply troubled and set to thinking furiously as to what my duty was in the circumstances.” Thus, he decided to undertake a three day fast. Judith M. Brown commented that “[Gandhi] had now come to point when he felt that fasting, a traditional, religious method of self-purification and appeal, well known in the family context and not least in his own childhood, could properly be used in the public sphere.” Through this fasting, Gandhi proved that he was one of the suffering people; if they were suffering, he would not be a spectator. Brown believed that this fasting was “in a new way personalizing and moralizing politics, as well as using a well-known theme within Hindu tradition.”
Another significant aspect of this fast was the dilemma of coercion. Gandhi had a good relationship with some textile owners; they had provided precious financial help to him. But if Gandhi fasted for the workers, the owner would feel coerced. Gandhi recognized the dilemma but insisted on fasting because he believed that helping the workers would be more important form the moral perspective. Gandhi understood that “for the satyagrahi there were rarely clear-cut moral issues, and that the truth-seeker must weigh the greater good and the lesser evil in any particular situation.” In spite of the fact, he confessed his inner struggles, saying “[m]y fast was not free from a grave defect. […]. To fast against [the mill-owners] would amount to coercion. Yet in spite of my knowledge that my fast was bound to put pressure upon them, as in fact it did, I felt I could not help it.”
Gandhi had two important fasts against violence during satyagraha campaigns in 1919 and 1922 respectively. Realizing that non-cooperation could be a very useful weapon in colonial India, Gandhi determinedly led many satyagraha campaigns to challenge the unjust British rule. At the same time, Gandhi stressed a successful non-cooperation campaign must be accompanied by the practice of nonviolence. Gandhi absolutely denounced violence because it fundamentally contradicted to Truth and thus violent actions could never win a victory in the long run. For this reason, when violent actions took place in the satyagraha campaign in 1919, Gandhi was awfully disappointed. He suspended the campaign and decided to fast. Likewise, in 1922, Gandhi suspended the movement of mass disobedience because of violence at Chauri Chaura and undertook a five-day fast of penance at Bardoli. Failure of these satyagraha campaigns clarified the fact that nonviolence and satyagraha required high moral commitment; however, in reality, because of people’s various capacities and different understanding of those concepts, it was hard for common people to perform nonviolent satyagraha. Gandhi confessed that the Indian people were not disciplined enough. He admitted his miscalculation and took the responsibility. Consequently, the two fasts became penances Gandhi imposed on himself.
In fact, Gandhi had publicly fasted for or against many controversial issues in Indian society, and fasting gradually developed one of his most unique features. For example, it was extraordinary of his fasts against the conflicts between Hindus and Moslems and untouchability. Gandhi had a 21-day "great fast" at Mohammed Ali's home near Delhi as penance for communal rioting in 1924. Through fasting, “Gandhi has appealed to all of the Indian communities to assist in ending the quarrel between the Hindus and Moslems.” This fast produced noticeable effects. According to a New York Times report, “[t]he conference of representatives of all the religious communities in India, meeting here, unanimously adopted a resolution today recording the country’s deep grief over the suffering of the non-cooperationist leader Gandhi in his self-imposed fast, undertaken to bring peace between the Hindus and Moslems.” Likewise, Gandhi’s several great fasts against untouchability were influential. For example, in 1932, Gandhi “undertook a fast unto death to ‘protest against’ separate electorates for outcasts.” Because of Gandhi’s unparalleled prestige and fragile aged body, his fast produced an unusually strong impact in India as well in the world. When historians in later generation evaluate Gandhi’s political methods, fasting should not be an insignificant one nor to be ignored.
Although Gandhi’s public fasting was an important activity of his political career and sometimes assisted his political attempts to reach immediate outcomes, there were not without critiques of his fasting. Despite the fact that Gandhi claimed that coercion contradicted his belief of fasting, coercion was inevitable in many occasions in his fasting. Some people even regarded Gandhi’s fasting as blackmail. In addition, People might consider Gandhi’s fasting irrational. “Fasting required a kind of absolute, context free, totally impersonal, and perhaps even transhuman conception of the congruence between morals, motives, and act. […] it was virtually impossible to make sense of fasting.” Nevertheless, Joseph Alter’s judgment on Gandhi’s fasting might relatively neutral. “Gandhi is seen either as a great soul willing to sacrifice himself in order to uphold absolute, inflexible principles of truth and justice or as a shred, calculating, savvy politician who used charisma to force his will upon those who disagreed with him. A careful reading of his collected works makes it very clear that Gandhi was not, in any sense, calculating politician.” Indeed, Gandhi’s fasting shared same attributes with his political ideology. On the one hand, it represented Gandhi dedication of spiritual discipline and high morality; on the other hand, Gandhi certainly employed fasting as a practical method to achieve his political goals.
Throughout Gandhi’s life, diet and fasting were his two important personal practices. They demonstrated his political philosophy, representing the ideas of simplicity, self-purification, and self-suffering. Through the practice of diet and fasting, Gandhi not only improved his abilities of self-restraint, but also efficiently kept the brahmacharya vow, which were all significant on his principles of nonviolence and satyagraha. Moreover, Gandhi’s vegetarian diet enhanced his thoughts of nonviolence; his extremely simple diet confirmed his willing of living as a poor person in his later age. In comparison with diet, Gandhi’s fasting primarily demonstrated the ideas of love and self-suffering. Gandhi’s public fasting gradually gained unusual huge attention; they certainly changed the situations of many critical political events.

Bibliography
Primary sources
Gandhi, Mahatma. The Collected Works of Mahatma Gandhi. New Delhi: The Publications
Division, Ministry of Information and Broadcasting, Government of India: Navajivan
Press, 1958.
______. Gandhi in India, in His Own Words. Edited by Martin Green. Hanover: University Press
of New England, 1987.
Gandhi, Mohandas K. An Autobiography: The Story of My Experiments with Truth. Boston:
Beacon Press, 1993.
______. Hind Swaraj and Other Writings. Edited by Anthony J. Parel. Cambridge: Cambridge
University Press, 1997.
______. “Non-violence.” In Civil Disobedience and Violence. Edited by Jeffrie G. Murphy, 93-
102. Belmont: Wadsworth Pub. Co., 1971.
Duncan, Ronald. Selected Writings of Mahatma Gandhi. Boston: Beacon Press, 1951.

Secondary sources
Alter, Joseph S. Gandhi’s Body: Sex, Diet, and the Politics of nationalism. New York:
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Brown, Judith M. Gandhi. New Haven: Yale University Press, 1989.
Parekh, Bhikhu. Gandhi’s Political Philosophy: A Critical Examination. Notre Dame: University
of Notre Dame Press, 1989.
Salt, Henry S.“The Right of Animals.”International Journal of Ethics 10, no. 2 (January
1900). http://www.jstor.org/stable/2376037
Westermarck, Edward. “The Principles of Fasting.” Folklore vol. 18, no. 4 (December 1907).
http://www.jstor.org/stable/1254491

2010 spring semester is coming

2010-01-28T10:35:00.000-08:00

Actually, today is the first day of 2010 spring semester and my first class is in this afternoon. However, my mind is still wandering and in the stage of idleness. I browsed Chinese calligraphy websites more than two hours this morning and then I decide to write an English blog post now.

The topic of today’s class is about American intellectual history. We are going to read five masterpieces about American history or literature such as Uncle Tom’s Cabin. It should not be easy, but because the topic is interesting and the professor, Dr. Scott, is easy and nice, I assume that this course is worthy to be taken.

I quit the tutoring job in Jodi’s house. First reason is little girl who really didn’t like me. I got little pleasure when I dealt with this job. Also, investing approximate three hours on transportation made this job less attractive. I felt released when I went out their home after the last lesson.

I have met my missionary student twice. I appreciate their strong willing to learn Chinese language, and see that as a good sign of our long term tutoring. They prefer public libraries to a café. That is no problem for me at all. I’ll continue meeting them next week too. We are studying Pinyin as well as some simplest Chinese characters in our each tutoring session.

Needless to say, Barry is always the best. He studies by himself and shares his insights with me. He also asks questions, and then we work together to figure out the answers. I think my English speaking is improving invisibly while I meet and talk with Barry regularly. Also, because of his help on one of my Gandhi’s papers, I received an A on it.

A lot of interesting things happened in my work place too though I could not write down all the details. New semester is beginning; my supervisor in QCC, Gisela is coming back on next next Monday. There must be many changes again. I do not fear of the changes, and in fact is interested to see. I believe although there are many evil, unwise fellows in the world, there are also many wonderful people who are worthy us to know. In contrast to the sentiment in my early years, I have turned to be optimism now.

Terrific twice

2010-01-06T20:00:00.000-08:00

Today I received the word, “terrific”, twice. Jodi said I am a terrific teacher, and Barry said my English is terrific. I know they are merely a kind of compliment, but I still feel so happy about that. Why not? Without the illusory feeling of compliments, the civilized human beings could not survive even a single day.

There is the main body of my email to Barry in which we discussed how his learning of Chinese assisted his teaching in ESL students (many of them are Chinese). Barry said in this email I expressed myself “beautifully”.

About your theory I have two points. First, you are absolutely right that by presenting your difficulties to learn a foreign language, you “evened the ‘playing field’”. As a teacher, you create a more comfortable studying environment for students. Especially, because many of your students in Flushing library are new immigrants, some of them living illegally, they have a constant fear when they deal with the society, consciously or unconsciously. For many of them, including my early years in America, the public library is the sole way to get contact with people other than their own people. I admire you attitude not only because it is an efficient method to help their English study, but provides them a valuable path to access the society that encourages them to do well on other aspects of their lives in the country. I understand it is the government, the library and all the people working together to create the ESL learning center, but your thoughtful and friendly attitude make the students feel easier and happier. I think this is you unique feature.

Second, since you are not young but you are learning a difficult foreign language, and you have already achieved an admirable success, people will think, for example Henry, they study English many years but they are unable to speak, but you only study Chinese in a short period, and you can talk about the stories in you life, you master a certain degree of vocabulary, and you can self-study. I think this point is important because the fact that you studying Chinese itself is the best example to inspire your students to study hard and give their confidence to do well in their language study.

A slow and enjoyable winter break

2010-01-05T18:33:00.001-08:00

2010 is coming. I remain the regular pace to move forward, to get older and older. Brian is layoff in the winter season. Despite the decrease of income, we get more time stay together at our warm home and enjoy the slow lifestyle.

Working at QCC office is boring but I want to go. The reason is not only about money but also because in such a circumstance, I am pushed to stay in an English language environment. I speak English only with my colleagues. If I stay at home, a large portion of my productive time would be waste on browsing the Internet, reading Chinese novels. When I stay in the office, I feel embarrassed to read Chinese, so I read English only, either books or anything online. Nobody likes pressure, but for me, pressure is a very important factor to force me studying.

It is a big chance that I may have a new Chinese tutoring opportunity later. We have already discussed the details and arranged the time. If everything goes well, we would meet on next Monday evening. It is always a mystery that what kind of person you would meet, but is useless to take a guess. Just keep inner peace and accept whatever the fate bringing to you. I prefer tutoring adults to children. Many children students don’t want to learn; in contrast, adults are all willing to learn. If your students are passionately to learn, the teacher will be inspired and feel happy too. I still don’t have a pleasure feeling to meet Hayli, but seem as her mother wants me to continue. I’ll try. Meeting Barry once a week is my real joy. This Monday after our tutoring, we and Brian had coffee in a Dunkin Donuts shop. I asked Barry to show off his Chinese in front of Brian. So he described his recent trip to France in Chinese, including what food they ate, how they traveled. Brian admired Barry’s progress in Chinese.

My first twenty page research paper

2009-12-31T10:08:00.000-08:00

Gandhi’s Embrace and Rejection of Western Civilization

Gandhi’s relationship with Western civilization was complicated and changed throughout his life. When Gandhi was a young man, he received a three-year formal Western college education in England and enthusiastically to learn Western law, culture and civilization. At the same time, his study of Christianity and Western books of vegetarianism shaped his religious and moral beliefs. Most importantly, Western thinkers provided enormous sources for Gandhi’s political principles such as non-violence, universal love, and civil disobedience. However, while Gandhi’s political thoughts were gradually matured in his middle age, he began to reject many aspects of Western modern civilization. He viewed modern industrial civilization as a sin and severely attacked Western governmental system, railways, lawyers, doctors, and other aspects. Eventually, Gandhi promoted ancient Indian civilization and believed that India could use it as a guide to gain true independence. On the surface, it looks contradictory because of Gandhi’s early embrace and his later rejection of Western civilization. However, on a deeper level, it was a consistent progression that was tightly related to Gandhi’s political concerns. In Gandhi’s early age, he tried to learn from the West to find out the way to solve Indian problems, and Western civilization indeed provided critical elements for his political thought growing; in his later age, he turned to believe that Western civilization was the essential cause that enslaved the Indians under the English rule; thus, rejecting it became an critical step to opening the door of true freedom to the Indians.
Initial Western impacts on Gandhi
When Gandhi was a young man, he passionately embraced Western civilization, urging to learn from it in order to better Indian conditions. It was a prevailing notion that because Europeans ate meat, they were strong, and then they could rule over India. Despite the fact that Gandhi’s parents were strict vegetarians, in Gandhi’s high school years, he started to eat meat and expected to get physically strong. As Gandhi explained, “I wished to be strong and daring and wanted my countrymen also to be such, so that we might defeat the English and make India free.” This experiment lasted more than a year, ending when Gandhi realized that vegetarianism was not the real cause of the weakness of the Indian. “There are many other causes incessantly at work to account for the proverbial weakness.” This incident reflected Gandhi’s initial realization of spiritual force over physical force, a central aspect of Gandhi’s most important political principle, non-violence.
When Gandhi was nineteen years old, his family sent him to study in England. Ambitious to go, Gandhi said, “if I go to England not only shall I become a barrister (of whom I used to think a great deal), but I shall be able to see England, the land of philosophers and poets, the very centre of civilisation.” Gandhi cheerfully described his first glance of Western civilization that “for the first time in my life I saw the electric light in the front of our ship. It appeared like moonlight. The front part of the ship appeared very beautiful.” When Gandhi stayed in England, he started to contact Western people and imitate their customs as closely as possible. He paid attention to details to get into society. For example, he kept a white flannel suit especially for the time when he landed. Also, He recalled, “while in India, the mirror had been a luxury […]. Here I wasted ten minutes every day before a huge mirror, watching myself arranging my tie and parting my hair in the correct fashion.” Despite the fact that he always managed money economically, Gandhi spent a lot of money to buy expensive clothes. He wrote in his autobiography, “[t]he clothes after the Bombay cut that I was wearing were, I thought, unsuitable for English society, and I got new ones at Army and Navy Stores. I also went in for a chimney-pot hat costing nineteen shillings --- an excessive price in those days.”
Studying Western traditions, languages, and music enriched Gandhi’s knowledge and improved his insight of human world. Gandhi studied Latin and French while he studied at the University of London and at the law school. When a friend pointed out that “knowledge of Latin means greater command over the English language,” Gandhi decided to learn it, “no matter how difficult it might be.” He also took dancing lessons and tried to learn to play the violin in order to cultivate an ear for Western music. Gandhi’s initial period in England could be the time he was mostly attracted by Western civilization. However, he quickly realized that he would not spend a lifetime in England, and his goal was to come to study and qualify himself “to join the Inns of Court.” For this reason, he abandoned the idea of being an English gentleman, but concentrated on his legal study. Gandhi’s thought at this time was to learn Western civilization zealously but rationally and thoughtfully to adopt the portion that he really valued.
Studying law in England itself could be the strongest proof for Gandhi’s deep involvement in Western civilization. Law was one of the greatest accomplishments of Western civilization that was related to the fundamental framework of a society. To study law was to explore the heart of Western civilization, and being a lawyer was to represent Western civilization. Gandhi showed himself “remarkably conscientious” on legal study, and he “strove to improve his English and his general educational qualifications.” Gandhi took much effort to read the common law of England, including Herbert Broom’s Common Law, Edmund H. T. Snell’s Equity, Frederick Thomas White and Owen Davies Tudor’s Leading Cases and Louis Arthur Goodeve’s Personal Property. He thus gained a profound and wide understanding of Western civilization. However, Gandhi eventually became a unique political leader rather than a lawyer, because he possessed the goal of searching the ultimate truth and solving the problems of India, but not focusing on his personal success.
Gandhi’s embrace of Western civilization included learning about Christianity when he was in England and in South Africa. Before Gandhi came to England, he resented Christianity for it seemed to compel individuals to eat meat and drink liquor. Nevertheless, when Gandhi stayed in England, he gradually came in contact with Christianity. In 1889, a vegetarian friend first suggested that Gandhi read the Bible. He was bored by the Old Testament, but “the New Testament produced a different impression, especially the Sermon on the Mount which went straight to [his] heart”; the Sermon reminded Gandhi of some ideas from the Indian holy book, Bhagavad Gita, which he “regarded as the gospel preaching selfless non-violent action.” He “tried to unify the teaching of the Gita, The Light of Asia and the Sermon on the Mount. That renunciation was the highest form of religion appealed to [him] greatly.” The idea of “renunciation” that Gandhi grasped from Christianity as well as other sources became one of the fundamental tenets of his ideology of self-realization and non-violence.
Gandhi’s exploration of Christianity eventually guided him to a universal thinking of religion. During his South Africa period, he remained an interest in Christianity. He not only joined Christian meetings, prayed, and debated with Christian friends, but also expanded his knowledge of Christianity by reading a wide range of books about this religion, including “Commentary of Dr. Parker of the City Temple, Pearson’s Many Infallible Proofs and Butler’s Analogy”; also, he enjoyed to give his religious diary to Christian friends and discussed the impression the Christian books had left on him. Nevertheless, Gandhi did not convert to Christianity; in contrast, he expressed that “it was impossible for [him] to believe that [he] could go to heaven or attain salvation only by becoming a Christian.” Gandhi asserted that “[t]he soul of religions is one, but it is encased in a multitude forms.” It was acceptable that there were many religions in the world since various religions were merely different tools that would bring all human beings to a same end. In addition, it is important that individuals have the faith in the God and Love as well as equal love for all mankind. Gandhi claimed that “[w]e can only win over the opponent by love, never by hate. Hate is the subtlest form of violence. We cannot be really non-violent and yet have hate in us.” For this reason, politics could not be separated from religion, and the infinitive power of love was absolute from both religious and political perspectives.
Being an extreme vegetarian was an important factor contributing to Gandhi’s charisma and was relevant to his political career. Surprisingly, Western writers, rather than Indian traditions, inspired Gandhi’s faith in vegetarianism. When Gandhi arrived to England, he rejected to eat meat for following the family tradition and his vow to his mother. After encountering many objections and difficulties, Gandhi finally found a vegetarian restaurant in London, made vegetarian friends, and joined a vegetarian club. More importantly, after he read Western books about vegetarianism, his understanding of vegetarianism moved to a higher stage. Gandhi claimed that he become a vegetarian by choice after reading Henry S. Salt’s Plea for Vegetarianism. Also, Howard William’s The Ethics of Diet and Dr. Anna Kingsford’s The Perfect Way in Diet were examples of those books that enhanced Gandhi’s faith in vegetarianism. Gandhi stated, “I had gone there a convinced meat-eater, and was intellectually converted to vegetarianism.” In a letter to his brother from London, Gandhi expressed his enjoyment of being a vegetarian: “in spite of the cold I have no need of meat or liquor, which fills my heart with joy and thankfulness.”
Vegetarianism was primarily based on the concepts of universal love and the equality of all living beings, which had significance for Gandhi’s political thinking as well. Henry Salt was the English writer who influenced Gandhi the most about vegetarianism. In his essay “The Rights of Animal”, Salt quoted E. P. Evans that “man is as truly a part and product of Nature as any other animal.” In other words, human beings were not a higher race than other animals, nor had more value than them. Salt further asserted that “an animal has his proper work to do in the world, his own life to live, as surely as a man.” Salt’s opinions were consistent with Indian traditional belief that not only human beings, but also all living beings had soul; people were supposed to expand universal love to all living beings. Gandhi’s strict vegetarian diet impacted not only his physical body, but his mental and spiritual development as well. Since the idea of universal love was also a critical element of Gandhi’s political idea of non-violence, Gandhi’s acceptance of vegetarianism was certainly significant to his consideration and later acceptance of the idea of non-violence. Judith M. Brown commented, “[Gandhi’s] own movement through vegetarianism towards non-violence and compassion for all life.”

Gandhi and Western thinkers
Gandhi’s philosophy was formed by mixed factors, including Indian traditions and Christian ideas, specifically, The Bhagavad Gita and the Sermon on the Mount. However, his dominant political principles and his economic thinking were shaped by the three Western thinkers: Leo Tolstoy, Henry David Thoreau and John Ruskin. Gandhi stated the “persons who have influenced [his] life as a whole in a general way [were] Tolstoy, Ruskin, Thoreau and Raychandbhai.” Despite this fact, it is important to bear in mind that Western philosophy played a role in developing Gandhi’s political ideology based on his previous knowledge and beliefs, rather than providing complete new concepts to him. Ronald Duncan observed that “these writers only awakened a spiritual strength which was already there.”
Russian writer and thinker Tolstoy impressed on Gandhi the ideas of non-violence and universal love. Not too long after Gandhi settled down in South Africa, his Christian friends introduced him to Tolstoy. Gandhi later wrote in his autobiography, “Tolstoy’s The Kingdom of God is Within You overwhelmed me. It left an abiding impression on me.” Although Gandhi was much younger than Tolstoy, they shared many heart-to-heart letters; Tolstoy’s last long letter was to Gandhi. The correspondence between them was full of Tolstoy’s stress on the concepts of universal love and nonviolence. Tolstoy wrote to Gandhi in 1910, “the teaching of love […] is the highest and only law of human life.” Tolstoy believed because Christian civilization permitted violence, it was full of contradiction. He stated that “this contradiction always grew with the development of the people of the Christian world, and lately it reached the highest stage.” Tolstoy felt that social disorder and conflicts were due to “internal contradiction which must be solved and cannot remain unsolved” and predicted that those problems would be “solved in the sense of acknowledging the law of love and denying violence.” Specifically, in this Letter to a Hindu, Tolstoy warned Indian revolutionaries against employing terrorist methods of agitation, and urged them to stay true to their native traditions of nonviolence, which had an even more profound effect upon Gandhi.
Under the influence of Tolstoy, Gandhi developed nonviolence into a universal principle. Gandhi believed that “all men were essentially one and that love and good will, not hatred and ill-will, were the only valid bases of human relationships.” Nonviolence, or “ahimsa”, means “the largest love” and being a follower of ahimsa, “[one] must love [his] enemy.” The force of love always wins over the force of violence, and love one’s enemy is the only way to win their hearts. Because of this belief, Gandhi put Churchill and Hitler in the category that supported violence and sharply criticized both of them. “Churchill and Hitler are striving to change the nature of their respective countrymen by forcing and hammering violent methods on them. Man may be suppressed in this manner but he cannot be changed. Ahimsa, on the other hand, can change human nature and sooner than men like Churchill and Hitler can.” In addition, Satyagraha was a vital term that was regarded as the means to achieve Swaraj, Indian independence. It basically meant struggling for truth, or soul force, and it originally came from the force of love and was inseparably from the concept of nonviolence. Gandhi emphasized that passive resistance must mean Satyagraha, and wrote “there are not many cases in history of passive resistance in that sense. One of these is that of the Doukhobors of Russia cited by Tolstoy.” It is true that Tolstoy and Gandhi “both made the ‘law of love’ and non-violence the very kernel of their moral philosophy.”
Except advocating non-violence and universal love, Tolstoy and Gandhi both promoted a simple lifestyle. In the article “Count Tolstoy” published on Indian Opinion in 1905, Gandhi summarized Tolstoy’s life, his religious study and moral accomplishment with a respectful tone. “He gave up his wealth and took to a life of poverty. He had lived like a peasant for many years now and earns his needs by his own labour.” Gandhi admired Tolstoy that “[t]hough a millionaire, he lives an extremely austere life.” Similarly, Gandhi was well-known by his extremely simple clothes, diet, and lifestyle. His external appearance indicated his spiritual conviction on simplicity. In South Africa, “Gandhi was making at that time about five or six thousand pounds a year. [But] he gave it up to espouse poverty, […] to live the life of the persecuted Indians, to share their trials.” Martin Burgess Green commented that “the faith in nonviolent action and self-simplification, which Tolstoy passed to Gandhi, like a torch from one runner to another.”
As one aspect of the idea of simplicity, physical labor was stressed by both Tolstoy and Gandhi. Although the term “bread labour” was what the Russian writer T. M. Bondoref first stressed, Tolstoy gave it wider publicity. “The divine law that man must earn his bread by labouring with his own hands.” Gandhi connected this idea to Indian tradition, saying “[i]n my view, the same principle has been set froth in Chapter III of the Gita where we are told that he who eats without offering sacrifice eats stolen food. Sacrifice here can only mean bread labour.” Gandhi also agreed with Tolstoy that “agriculture is the true occupation of man. It is therefore contrary to divine law to establish large cities, to employ hundreds of thousands for minding machines in factories so that a few can wallow in riches by exploiting the helplessness and poverty of the many.” As a result, in 1910, Gandhi and his friends set up an ashram, or Satyagrahis community, near Johannesburg, South Africa. It was called Tolstoy Farm because its principles were based on Tolstoy’s ideas of the basic moral value of physical labor and of natural diet. Families of Satyagrahis lived in Tolstoy Farm and experimented with simple life--- with vegetarianism, fasting, reformed dress, physical labor, nature cure, and so on. At Tolstoy Farm, Gandhi’s philosophy of simplicity, social equality, anti-material and anti-modern industrial civilization became visible.
In addition to learning from Tolstoy, Gandhi appreciated the American writer and philosopher Henry David Thoreau, who advocated individual value and power. In his essay “On the Duty of Civil Disobedience”, Thoreau wrote that “[t]here will never be a really free and enlightened State until the State comes to recognize the individual as a higher and independent power, from which all its own power and authority are derived, and treats him accordingly.” Likewise, Gandhi emphasized individual moral and spiritual force. Through individual self-restraint and self-scarification, everyone could achieve a high moral standard and the realization of God and Truth. Self-governed individual and limited government constituted a perfect society that Gandhi valued. During the colonial period, Indian people had neither military force nor control of the government; thus, the mass population must become an important force to resist the British. It was a logical choice that Gandhi, a political genius, encouraged and depended on individual forces to launch social and political movements.
In fact, Thoreau’s and Gandhi’s emphasis on individual importance was based on their belief in the positive potential of human nature. Fundamentally, if one individual could achieve a moral stage, everybody could imitate him or her and achieve this same stage too. If one social movement at one location could win success, other movements in a nation could possibly win as well. Confronting the difficulty of slavery in America, Thoreau argued that even though only one honest man who ceased to hold slaves, it would be the abolition of slavery. Similarly, Gandhi constantly put individual morality as his greatest concern. He carried out a serious practice of purification and simplification on the physical as well as spiritual level by himself, and demonstrated himself as an example that everybody could imitate. When Gandhi worked on his political and social movements, he noted and adopted each successful strategy. In a New York Times report in 1921, Gandhi “foreshadowed the starting of the disobedience movement in the Gugerat district within a fortnight, which he said would set an example for achievement for the rest of India.” Erik H. Erikson commented, “it is hard to believe that at that time [Gandhi] was not familiar with Thoreau’s statement that ‘[f]or it matters not how small the beginning may seem to be: what it once well done is done forever.’”
Thoreau developed the principle of civil disobedience, and Gandhi inherited it and adopted it into his central political practice. Thoreau focused on government that was unjust, but was physically strong. “Must the citizen ever for a moment, or in the least degree, resign his conscience to the legislator? Why has every man a conscience, then?” He added, “I think we should be men first, and subjects afterward.” For Gandhi, the realization of oneself was the central issue for every individual as well. Following by one’s consciousness, everybody could realize God and Truth. In addition, Thoreau encouraged that “all men recognize the right of revolution; that is, the right to refuse allegiance to, and to resist, the government, when its tyranny or its inefficiency are great and unendurable.” Compared to a government, individuals are indeed physically fragile and vulnerable. However, on the spiritual stage, a single person could be as strong as any institution; if he could not do the things he thinks right, at least, he could refuse to do the things he thinks wrong. Thoreau analyzed that “[i]t is not a man’s duty, as a matter of course, to devote himself to the eradication of any, even the most enormous wrong; he may still properly have other concerns to engage him; but it is his duty, at least, to wash his hands of it, and, if he gives it no thought longer, not to give it practically his support.” Given the specific situation of colonial India, the Indians were unable to fight directly with the British. However, civil disobedience appeared to be a suitable strategy for Indians, and it in fact greatly contributed to Indian independence.
In comparison with Tolstoy and Thoreau, John Ruskin’s influence on Gandhi primarily focused on economic thinking. In his book, A Joy for Ever and Its Price in the Market, Ruskin criticized modern industrial civilization. He believed if a nation’s labor was managed, it would be able to provide all the citizens with “the basic needs for food, shelter and clothing, pleasant objects of minimum luxury, healthful rest, and serviceable leisure; [however], while the new political economy provides for the luxury of the few, it does not seem capable of satisfying the basic needs of the many.” This opinion was consistent with Gandhi’s stress on simplification and equality. Given the fact that natural resources were limited, if one took more, another might obtain less than enough. Considering the desperate poverty of the Indian peasants, it is not surprising that Gandhi advocated economic equality in India. In the introduction of Hind Swaraj, Anthony J. Parel wrote, “[t]here can be little doubt that Gandhi adapts Ruskin’s dictum to India in the form of his doctrine of appropriate technology.”
From Ruskin’s another works, Unto This Last, Gandhi grasped Ruskin’s fundamental economic theories. In 1904, Gandhi’s English friend Henry Polak introduced him to this book, and Gandhi was fascinated by it immediately. Gandhi wrote later, “I believe that I discovered some of my deepest convictions reflected in this great book of Ruskin, and that is why it so captured me and made me transform my life.” Gandhi found the idea that “the good of the individual is contained in the good of all”, which was similar to what Gandhi acquired from Thoreau. More importantly, Gandhi was impressed by Ruskin’s beliefs that “a lawyer’s work has the same value as the barber’s inasmuch as all have the same right of earning their livelihood from their work. […]That a life a labour, i.e., the life of the tiller of the soil and the handicraftsman is the life worth living.” Ruskin believed that all occupations could be equally valuable and honorable. “If the clergyman or the soldier could work for honour, not profit, why not the businessman or the industrialist?” Thus, his final concern turned to be “the supremely desirable life is one of labour, whether as a farmer or a craftsman.” Likewise, Gandhi articulated, “I want the rich to hold their riches in trust for the poor or to give them up for them. Do you know that I gave up all my property when I founded Tolstoy Farm? Ruskin’s Unto This Last inspired me and I built my farm on those lines.” “Finally, Ruskin saw the value of handicrafts even in an industrial society; Gandhi saw the value of the spinning-wheel and handicrafts for the whole of India.” Since Gandhi absorbed so many elements from Ruskin and presented great similarities on economic thoughts with Ruskin’s, Ruskin was referred “main economic teacher” of Gandhi.
Gandhi not only sincerely agreed with Ruskin’s theories, but also put them into practice. The establishment of Phoenix Settlement in South Africa in 1904 was a direct consequence of Ruskin’s impact on Gandhi. Gandhi claimed that he determined to change his life “in accordance with the ideals of the book” and “ready to reduce these principles to practice.” In Phoenix Settlement, Gandhi’s first Satyagrahis community, Gandhi promoted physical labor, simple lifestyle and equality among all members. Phoenix Settlement and later established Tolstoy Farm were both the communities that attempted to remove “as far as possible from the standards of materialistic civilization and its modes of productions.” Moreover, Gandhi “translated [Ruskin’s Unto This Last] later into Gujarati, entitling it Sarvodaya (the welfare of all).” He paraphrased Ruskin’s ideas “as a pamphlet under the title Sarvodaya, a name which he also gave to his newly formulated economic philosophy.” Those actions strongly proved Gandhi’s fondness of Ruskin’s ideas.
Gandhi’s Rejection of Western Civilization
During his England and early South Africa periods, Gandhi widely studied Western philosophy. He absorbed certain elements that supported his thoughts about Indian problems that were initially formed by Indian traditions and religions. However, during his later years in South Africa, Gandhi realized that “Western civilization [was] India’s real enemy,” and his rejection of it became explicit, strong and persistent. Specifically, in 1909, Gandhi published Hind Swaraj, in which he not only determinedly attacked modern industrial civilization, but elevated Indian ancient civilization and believed that was the only way to achieve Indian Self Rule.
By Western civilization I mean the ideals which people in the Western have embraced in modern times and the pursuits based on these ideals. The supremacy of brute force, worshipping money as God, spending most of one’s time in seeking worldly happiness, breathtaking risks in pursuit of worldly enjoyments of all kinds, the expenditure of limitless mental energy on efforts to multiply the power of machinery, the expenditure of crores on the invention of means of destruction, the moral righteousness which looks down upon people outside Europe, ---this civilization, in my view, deserves to be altogether rejected.
For Gandhi, exposing the evil aspects of Western civilization to the Indians was the initial steps to achieve Swaraj, or Indian Self Rule. Gandhi claimed that Swaraj was the highest and the most urgent goal of India. “[Swaraj] is what India wants and needs above everything else. […] India is sick unto death of British rule, which has proved rapacious and inept. It has pauperized, exploited and demoralized the people.” It is important to make the Indians “discontent” and “unrest”. Gandhi explained that “so long as a man is contented with his present lot, so long is it difficult to persuade him to come out of it. Therefore it is that every reform must be preceded by discontent. We throw away things we have, only when we cease to like them.” If an Indian enjoyed English lifestyle and English products, it was most likely that he could not reject the English rule in a determined manner. However, if he understood that neither Western civilization was as moral as he assumed, nor were modern industrial goods beneficial to one’s spiritual improvement at all, then he would begin to be discontent and unrest. This was the first step to waking the Indians up and walking towards Swaraj.
Gandhi had learned the significance of physical labor and simplification for individuals from both Tolstoy and Ruskin; however, modern civilization was directly against these principles. In Hind Swaraj, Gandhi described the evil aspects of modern civilization that he observed. In the civilization, people lived in better built houses and had excessive clothing. They ploughed land by steam-engines instead of manual labor. They formerly worked in open air, but now in factories and mines with terrible conditions. Soldiers did not fight between their bodily strength, but thousands of lives could be taken away by a gun in a battlefield. Gandhi pointed out that Industrial factories produced mass products to indulge people’s unlimited desires for materials and stimulated human greed. The reason of the diseases of the civilization was its emphasis on physical content and ignorance of spiritual self-restraint. “Civilisation seeks to increase bodily comforts, and it fails miserably even in doing so.” Individuals turned out to be “lack[ing] real physical strength or courage.” Gandhi asserted that human beings were not supposed to consume and possess more products than necessary. Individuals who indulged themselves in material life would decrease their spiritual strength and finally impede them to realize Truth. Gandhi affirmed that “[s]uffering confers spiritual strength; suffering is holy; therefore the national struggle was holy.” Furthermore, according to the doctrine of non-violence, violence is in fact unavoidable in the human world; however, limiting food consumption to sustain the body could minimize violent actions. For this reason, Gandhi proclaimed him “an uncompromising enemy of the present-day civilization of Europe.”
Gandhi rejected almost all the aspects of modern civilization because he thought they not only were morally defective, but also assisted the English to rule over the Indians. Gandhi rejected railways in India and argued that through railways the English could control India. Without railways, the English could neither mobilize its military force quickly, nor easily spread its force to remote villages. Also, after people were used to traveling by train, they no longer used their hands and feet. For Gandhi, it was a serious issue if one discarded physical labor; he or she would gradually lose the ability of self-control and degrade moral standards. Last, Gandhi argued that railways spread plague germs while people moved from places to places quickly and frequently and “increased the frequency of famines”. When people were able to move grains, they turned to be careless, which resulted “the pressure of famine increases.”
Gandhi also attacked one of the most important professions of Western civilization: lawyers. Gandhi believed that lawyers worked for money and possessed no honorable traits at all. “[M]en take up that profession, not in order to help others out of their miseries, but to enrich themselves.” Gandhi asked “if they have done anything for the country for the sake of money, how shall it be counted as good?” More importantly, Gandhi asserted that lawyers were the crucial tool that the English held to rule India. He stated, “[m]y firm opinion is that the lawyers have enslaved India, and they have accentuated the Hindu-Mahomedan dissensions, and have confirmed English authority.” Gandhi argued that the courts did not really benefit the Indians but helped the English rule. “Without lawyers, courts could not have been established or conducted, and without the latter the English could not rule.” For this reason, Gandhi encouraged the Indians to settle their disputes by themselves, and then “a third party would not be able to exercise any authority over them.”
Likewise, Gandhi attacked doctors and Western medicine because he thought they were useless for individual spiritual improvement. First of all, Gandhi believed that a person wanted to be a doctor only because he could “obtain honours and riches.” Gandhi pointed out the fact that the body of diseases arose was because of negligence or indulgence. He illustrated the harmful process between the patient and the doctor. “I over-eat, I have indigestion, I go to a doctor, he gives me medicine, I am cured, I over-eat again, and I take his pills again. […] The doctor intervened and helped me to indulge myself,” finally resulting in “loss of control over the mind.” Doctors and medicine cured diseases on the external level but failed to find out the real cause of diseases or to suggest a healthy way for people to live. Moreover, since people knew they could depend on doctors and medicine, they became even more careless about their bodies. Thus, doctors and medicine inevitably turned into a tool to stimulate people to indulge rather than to control themselves. From the religious perspective, Gandhi condemned “[f]or the sake of a mistaken care of the human body, [doctors] kill annually thousands of animals. They practise vivisection. No religion sanctions this. All say that it is not necessary to take so many lives for the sake of our bodies.” Since Gandhi was a strict vegetarian and valued universal love and equality between all living beings, his rejection modern medicine on this point was understandable.
Most importantly, Gandhi condemned Western civilization as causing the degeneration of human moral qualities. Gandhi considered the English governmental system a victim of Western civilization. He criticized English politicians who lacked moral qualities and were concerned about the benefits of their faction only. “The members are hypocritical and selfish. […]. Members vote for their party without a thought.” He called the Prime Ministers who “have neither real honesty nor a living conscience,” and compared Parliament to “a sterile woman and a prostitute,” because “Parliament has not yet of its own accord done a single good thing, hence I have compared it to a sterile woman. […] It is like a prostitute because it is under the control of ministers who change from time to time.” He claimed that “the tyranny of Parliament is much greater than that of Chengiz Khan, Tamerlane and others. […] Modern tyranny is a trap of temptation and therefore does greater mischief.” Conversely, Gandhi valued a society with lofty ideals, in which individuals ruled themselves capably, and the government needed to wield little power. Although Gandhi himself was a Western trained lawyer and had admired Western accomplishment, now, he was the opinion that “man-made laws are not necessarily binding.”
Nevertheless, while Gandhi considered modern civilization absolutely evil and firmly rejected it, he drew a distinction between Western people and modern Western civilization. According to Gandhi, “rejection of Western civilization doesn’t mean avoid everything English or hate the British.” He emphasized that the English’s “mode of thought is not inherently immoral. Neither are they bad at heart.” In fact, he sympathized with the English people and noticed that “[t]he writings of Englishmen themselves often tell us how wicked Western civilization is” and “[t]here was a storm of protest in England.” He articulated that it was modern civilization rather than the Englishmen which was the real cause of Indian problems and urged all Indians to understand how India was ruined by modern civilization. Logically, it was not true Indian independence if Indians ruled India in the English way, even if the Englishmen were driven away. “[T]hat we want English rule without the Englishman. […] This is not the Swaraj that I want.” Gandhi warned that if the India ruled their country like the Englishmen did, they were following “a suicidal policy.” According to a New York Times article in 1924, Gandhi’s “ideals and activities were neither military nor political. What he refused to co-operate with was less the British Government in India than the entire scheme of Western civilization.”
Eventually, Gandhi promoted Indian ancient civilization over modern Western civilization and concluded that was the very path towards Indian Self Rule. The British ruled India not only depended on its advanced military and political power, but also because of the influence of modern civilization. It was necessary to promote Indian tradition and civilization in order to increase the confidence of India. Gandhi compared Western modern civilization and Indian ancient civilization as “the Kingdom of Satan” with “the God of War” and “the Kingdom of God” with “the God of Love.” While he predicted modern Western civilization would be “self-destroyed,” he claimed that the ancient civilization of India was “the best that the world has ever seen.” Gandhi argued that “[i]t was not that [the Indian people] did not know how to invent machinery, but our forefathers knew that, if we set our hearts after such things, we would become slaves and lose our moral fibre.” He added that “our real happiness and health consisted in a proper use of our hands and feet,” and “worldly pursuits should give way to ethical living.” Gandhi believed that a real civilization was “[a] mode of conduct which points out to man the path of duty,” and hoped that “[t]he common people lived independently, and followed their agricultural occupation. They enjoyed true Home Rule.”
When Gandhi enthusiastically embraced Western civilization in his youth, his ambition was to accomplish personal success and family honor. The determination of improving Indian condition was already there but rather obscure. His England studying period expanded his general knowledge of the West. Most importantly, studying abroad provided him with great opportunities to learn enlightening thoughts from Western thinkers, which became a very important factor of the development of his political ideology. However, after many years struggling with the real difficulties of Indians in the British colony South Africa, his political thoughts gradually reached its maturity and his thinking on Western civilization was altered. Gandhi asserted Western civilization was immoral; it played an evil role to assist the English to enslave India. He believed that the products of modern civilization, such as railways, lawyers and doctors not only contradicted the ethical concepts on the theoretic level, but benefited India little in reality. The only way that the Indian could achieve true independence was to reject modern Western civilization and retake Indian ancient civilization. Thus, from the perspective of the development of Gandhi’s political ideology and his really political practice, the contradiction of his embrace and rejection of Western civilization has been explained.

Bibliography

Primary sources
Gandhi, Mahatma. The Collected Works of Mahatma Gandhi. New Delhi: The Publications
Division, Ministry of Information and Broadcasting, Government of India: Navajivan
Press, 1958.
______. Gandhi in India, in His Own Words. Edited by Martin Green. Hanover: University Press
of New England, 1987.
Gandhi, Mohandas K. An Autobiography: The Story of My Experiments with Truth. Boston:
Beacon Press, 1993.
______. Hind Swaraj and Other Writings. Edited by Anthony J. Parel. Cambridge: Cambridge
University Press, 1997.
______. “Non-violence.” In Civil Disobedience and Violence. Edited by Jeffrie G. Murphy, 93-
102. Belmont: Wadsworth Pub. Co., 1971.
______. Satyagraha in South Africa. Translated by Valji Govindji Desai. Stanford: Academic
Reprints, 1954.
Duncan, Ronald. Selected Writings of Mahatma Gandhi. Boston: Beacon Press, 1951.

Secondary sources
Brown, Judith M. Gandhi. New Haven: Yale University Press, 1989.
Erikson, Erik H. Gandhi’s Truth: on the Origins of Militant Nonviolence. London: W. W. Norton
& Company, 1993.
Green, Martin Burgess. The Origins of Nonviolence: Tolstoy and Gandhi in Their Historical
Settings. University Park: Pennsylvania State University Press, 1986.
Lavrin, Janko. “Tolstoy and Gandhi.” Russia Review 19, no. 2 (April 1960). http://www.jstor.org
/stable/126735 (accessed November 13, 2009)
Parekh, Bhikhu. Gandhi’s Political Philosophy: A Critical Examination. Notre Dame: University
of Notre Dame Press, 1989
Rivett, Kenneth. “The Economic Thought of Mahatma Gandhi.” The British Journal of
Sociology 10, no. 1 (March, 1959). http:// www.jstor.org/stable/587582 (accessed
November 13, 2009)
Rolland, Romain. Mahatma Gandhi: The Man Who Became One with the Universal Being.
Translated by Catherine D. Groth. New York: Garland Publishing, Inc., 1973.
Salt, Henry S.“The Right of Animals.”International Journal of Ethics 10, no. 2 (January
1900). http://www.jstor.org/stable/2376037 (accessed November 19, 2009)
Singh, M. K. ed., Encyclopedia of Indian War of Independence, 1857-1947. New Delhi: Anmol
Publications, 2009.
Spear, Percival. “Mahatma Gandhi.” Modern Asian Studies. 3:4 Gandhi Centenary Number 1969.
http://jstor.org/stable/311928 (accessed November 22, 2009)
Thoreau, H. D. “On the duty of civil disobedience.” In Civil Disobedience and Violence. Edited
by Jeffrie G. Murphy, 19-38. Belmont: Wadsworth Pub. Co., 1971.

farewell 2009

2009-12-31T09:18:00.000-08:00

The last day of 2009. I still remembered when I was a kid, 2000 appeared how far away from me. But now 2010 is tomorrow.

I received an A- on History 701, Introduction to History Research. I am satisfied by this grade. This was my first semester in the graduate school. I’ll do better later. I am waiting for another grade from Professor Sen.

I am upset by my Chinese student Hayli. She doesn’t like me at all, and the tutoring session turns to be a torturing time to me. I’ll stay one or two times longer. If the situation goes to be worse, I think I may quit the tutoring job.

Brian, his friends and I are planning a one-day hiking in the New Year day. I found a very good website that lists more hundred state parks of NY. It also identifies the locations of each park, which is very helpful to us to get an idea of the distance from our home to the park we planed to go.

I’ll going to practice calligraphy the rest of today, that is one of the most pleasure things I could enjoy in my life.

New York parks

2009-12-31T09:16:00.000-08:00

http://nysparks.state.ny.us/parks/park-results.aspx?n=&src=1

Winter is coming

2009-12-23T21:00:00.000-08:00

I finished my two papers last week and have already submitted them in. Winter is here now. I am allowed to continue working in Queens borough College in the winter. I appreciate my boss, Dr Jean-pearria’s kindness.
I am looking forward the final grades of my two courses. I guess they might be B+ or A-. I really have no confidence. I wish I would not be disappointed.

The court jugdment

2009-12-03T19:51:00.000-08:00

My husband and I went the court this Monday. I prepared a lot of materials and practiced how to response all the possible questions at home. However, the hearing took only around one minute and asking a very few questions. When I was called, I tried to explain the whole happening. But the judge stopped me, directly asking why I asked the amount of payment. I answered that I bought an Iphone but it did not work. He said, “Return it.” I said, “I want to return, but the store refused. They said that is my responsibility.” Then the judge asked me saying no more. He wrote down the court decision, and told me the written judgment will send to my home in ten days. It is done.

I know the Chinese store would be very unhappy about that. However, they can do nothing. It would not be a pleasure to see them again by returning the Iphone to them. But they must be more upset than me. Anymore, in this case, I am at least not the loser.

A lot of parties

2009-11-24T21:12:00.000-08:00

I am writing papers day after day. So far, my first twenty-page paper is about to an end. This is an extremely difficult task but also full of happiness. I really like writing, regardless in Chinese or in English. The essence of writing has never been changed. Also through writing this paper, I learned a lot about how to write a historical research paper. I believe the experience will be very valuable for my future study. By the way, my professor Swenson is a very nice old man. He corrected my draft every week, including grammatical errors. Have you heard that college professor would not correct your grammar anymore. Maybe it is right. I met few professors in undergraduate school who did that. But, it is funny that my first professor in graduate school who does care about and help me in grammar.

Because my supervisor Gisela is taking two months off for giving birth, I return back to the Student Union building to work from the library office. Working in the office is so boring. In contrast, in Student Union, there are full of fun. Everyday there are new things happen, meeting new people, helping college employees to set up events. Generally, people are very nice to me. They talk with me in a friendly manner; I appreciate their understanding and really like them too.

Today, I attended to a Thanksgiving party holding by Student Activities work-study students. They invited me even though for me it was too later to bring in some food. They did not invite all the people who work in this center, which made me especially happy. Woo, I knew I am not such a cool person. I am ordinary and simply. Tomorrow we’ll have a bigger party from 1 to 3 in the afternoon. It is called multi-culture festival. It is supported to have many foods from different groups of people. It should be fun.

QCC is a community college. Most students here are common young people rather than extremely ambitious persons. They study, but studying is not the dominant goal of them. They play games, join clubs, make friends, have fun, and enjoy lives. I admire this type of life. It is a true way of life.

2009 116

2009-11-06T09:33:00.000-08:00

In my blog, there are already three year records of my birthday, 06, 07, and 08. It is a really joy to read them. Also, I have diaries for many many years storing at home that I can look back what I did in my every birthday. They are my treasure. My friend Jin sent a message to me for happy birthday. I am always a person who prefers quality over quantity. I enjoy this simply feeling, expanding it to a boundless contentment.

It is nice to have a birthday on Friday. Today I work at QCC Student Activities office from 10 to 3. I’ll have the first Chinese lesson for the little girl Hayli in Manhattan from 4:30 to 6 in the afternoon. After that, I’ll meet my husband at his workplace, and then we’ll celebrate my birthday in the evening. I have not decided yet whether we’ll eat at home or go out. either of them are fine.

While I working in the office, I reread the autobiography of Gandhi to prepare my final papers. I have felt serious stress on my study lately. I even thought about to quit. However, when I got contacts with other people, I realized that few people have an easy life in the world. Some of them have a much serious condition than me. Being aware about that, I am pretty released.

This Tuesday, before the class, one of my classmates said when he was at the history department office, he witnessed two girls who were complaining the excessive assignments and papers to the chairman with tears in their eyes. Thanks God I have not cried yet. When Professor Sen walked in, he told us a bad new. One of our classmates died by heart attack. His wife emailed Professor Sen this news. A friend said to Professor Sen, “You gave him too much stress.” But this joke was not funny at all. Everybody felt sad. In comparison with those things, I felt I could not claim I have difficulties at all.

For my papers, my constant concern is that my writing could never reach to my professor’s expected level. I have been tortured by this fact. However, I finally realized I have to admit the fact and found the solution. I’ll do whatever I am able to do, trying my best, and ignoring any requirement beyond my ability. Only in this way, I could survive.

Gloom

2009-10-27T09:26:00.001-07:00

I feel I could not go on if I am continuously thinking about what the professor’s expects on the paper. I can only write down what I understand in my poor language. As a result, (I don’t know the exact result yet,) I am overwhelmed. It is gloom but no other choice. I know I have to go on because I current job is combined with the study program. If I quit, I lose both of them. Without a very strong or a dramatic reason, quit can not be a consideration.

There is no way get efficient help from others. There are a lot nice people around me; they are willing to offer help. However, they don’t know the project very much. They can provide fragment of advisement, which help little. They can make me feel happier, but the difficulty would not be lighter for this reason. I don’t know if I can survive this time. I want to see the end too.

Jodi & Hayli

2009-10-26T13:07:00.001-07:00

The American Woman, Jodi, who adopted a Chinese girl, contacted with me again last week. I went to her Manhattan apartment last Friday to see each other and discuss a little bit about how to teach to the four year old girl Hayli.

I don’t feel Jodi is very nice although of course she is polite. I am going to teach Hayli once a week, one and half hour from this Friday from 4:30 to 6 after my working in QCC. Jodi pays me $35 in total. Right now my schedule is pretty intensive. Everyday I am worrying about my essays. I’ll see how I like to teach the little girl. If it is annoyed, I can quit immediately.

In contrast, tutoring Barry is an absolute pleasure. Sometime, without money, people get a purer and happier position to stay with each other. When you do something voluntarily, you gain the impression such as kindness, selflessness. It is a satisfaction on the spiritual level.

Chinese grammar

2009-10-12T17:40:00.001-07:00

Tutoring Barry in Chinese is fun. I have regularly met Barry once a week for tutoring him in Chinese since this August. Barry told me that every time before meeting me, he studied Chinese by himself at home, and then when we meet, he is pleased that he could show off in front of me. During our tutoring session, I help him to practice conversions based on his textbook. We also discuss some grammatical questions. I like to do that because that makes me contemplating the profound grammatical considerations in my native language. Obviously, I can answer some of those questions, but not all. I wish but don’t know where I can find out a Chinese linguist who may explain those puzzling points for Barry and me.

Also, by explaining the definitions of new vocabularies, I improve my English. For example, if Barry encounters a new word, I know it meaning but could not explicitly explain it. I look at the dictionary, showing it to him, and at the same time, I gain new knowledge.

Each session Barry leaves some time to speak English with me. He asks my life, my study, and seem as he is interested to listen everything happened in my life. I touched by his concerns; he is like as kind old uncle.

Waiting

2009-10-07T18:20:00.001-07:00

I have been thinking about the Iphone issue since this Monday. I called Apple, T-mobile, both of them refused to offer any help to me. I realized that this is an issue between the agent and me only. The truth is gradually being uncovered while I consulted more and more companies, institutions, and individuals.

In fact, Iphone can only use with AT&T cell phone service. T-mobile doesn’t technically support Iphone. The Chinese agent illegally set T-mobile service to Iphone, but the result is the customer can only get partial functions of an Iphone.

In my case, the agent argues that I support to know the fact. If I sign the contract, which means I automatically agree this condition. This is they said, if you want full function, you should go to AT&T, but not T-mobile store. But from my point of view, I believe they should explain this situation clearly and completely to the customer. They never mentioned one word. They failed to do that, that meant they were deliberately cheating the customer. They did tell me that don’t update, but they didn’t explain the serious consequence and I indeed didn’t understand about that either.

The critical point in the case is if it is a common knowledge that one support to know the relation between Iphone, AT&T, and T-mobile, and what is the implication of the word “update”.

I consulted this issue to the director of Student Affairs of QCC because I believe he should have more knowledge, experience and better judgment than me. His suggestion is to wait. He said going to court would cost a lot of money and time.

However, I really don’t want to surrender now. I admit that I am a weak woman, no social background, no efficient language ability, no money and no time. But, there is one important point that encourages me to go on. I believe America is a good country; even a weak person has the chance to compete with powerful men. I don’t say there is an absolute justice, but, if I am lucky, by assisting by the government institution, I may win a justice.

If the judge says that this is my fault because I failed have a common knowledge by living in this society, I accept the result and loss. But, if the judge believes that the agent has cheated the customer in purpose, I wish they get the punishment they deserved.

I have already called 311 on Monday. They took my case and promised that they would give me a response in four days. My husband asked me to wait this result. If they fail to either persuade me by proving my fault or satisfy me by taking action on the agent, going to the court is my next step.

A New Experience in My Life

2009-10-05T20:58:00.000-07:00

I am planning to go to the Civil Court. I roughly recorded what this issue was in this letter. At this moment, I am annoyed, fear, uneasy, but also brave, urge to see if it is really my fault or if I can find out the justices.

September 25, 2009, a Friday, because my old cell phone contract (a family plan including two lines) was about to end, I went AC&JP Communications Crop. to consult how to start a new contract. The sale assistant is named Jacky. He said he could help me to cancel my old contract right now, and he suggested me a two-year contrast in T-mobile, two lines, the first four months with a monthly rate 69.99, and then the rate would drop to 59.99.

As an additional benefit of this contract, Jacky asked me to pay $550 in cash in order to get an Iphone 3G, but I would get $550 rebate after four months. When I purchased this Iphone, Jacky never told me that I could not use the functions of this Iphone fully. He told me when I connect this iphone to a computer, I should not update. But he did not explain what that implications. If I knew that meant I could only use partially of this iphone, I would hesitate to do this business.

I wanted to keep my old numbers (two lines, so two phone numbers). Jacky said I can, but I must take new SIM cards and use two temporary numbers in the following two weeks, and then the old numbers would automatically come back to the new SIM cards. He said my old numbers would be canceled in next Monday, 9/28. On the next Monday morning, 9/28, I found the old numbers that had not been cancelled. I called him. He said they would be cancelled in the evening.

But until that Wednesday, 9/30, the numbers still existed. I went the store. At this time, Jacky said the old numbers would not be cancelled, but there were only 15 numbers available to use. He told me did not use the old numbers. In this visit, I also asked two question of my iphone. This iphone’s Bluetooth could not connect to other Bluetooth. Jacky told me iphone’s Bluetooth could not transport data by design. Also, I found the battery of this iphone could only last less than ten hours. Jacky said that was normal. He suggested me to turn of Wi-fi if I didn’t use it. The second morning, 10/1, I called Apple customs service. The representative gave me a similar explanation on the two problems, I was relieved.

10/5, Monday, because I could not download music from a computer to this iphone, I asked my cousin to help me. He updated this iphone, then there was no longer phone service on this iphone. In the evening, I went the store. Jacky and other people worked in the store told me my iphone was locked, and could not get phone service anymore. They said that was my fault and they had no any responsibility on this trouble. They rejected to do nothing for me expect asking me to wait that maybe two or three week later when they get the way to unlock it, they would do that for me. But they were not sure how lone I exactly had to wait.

I called policeman around 6 pm. In the store, when the policemen were here, I pointed out that Jacky did not explain the limitation of this iphone; the fact that he hiding the truth was the main reason resulting in that I could not normally use cell service and the full function of my iphone. A man in the store respond, if you wanted full iphone function, you should go to At&T agent, but not a T-moblie store. But I really did not know this point. I assume that I should enjoy normal phone service and full iphone functions.

Right now, I am paying monthly cell phone bill, but I could not make and receive phone calls. I believe the agent should take the responsibility to solve this problem.

B+

2009-10-05T13:20:00.001-07:00

I got a B+ on the first paper of History 791. It is a short paper, three pages only, and weighs 15% of the final grade. When I saw the grade at the first sight, I was disappointed. I usually expect an A on my essay. However, later I realized it is merely a beginning, and B+ is not really bad. I can get improving gradually.

History 791 is a class about history research. It is really great. The professor Swenson is a nice old man. His weekly reading assignment is very helpful to assist us to get a clear idea of history research and to build up our final research paper step by step. The process is difficult for me because it is a brand new job to me. Also, writing a good research paper just means enormous jobs. It is hard for everybody. But I still do not dislike it. I know this is a hard step that I have to overcome in order to get a higher level.

Another Funny Thing

2009-09-24T20:08:00.001-07:00

As a rule, I have little contact with my classmates. I don’t like group study, which usually waste time. For me, self-study is my most efficient study method. In fact, it is not easy to find a good classmate who is smarter and more hard-working than you and is also kind and generous to offer help. Rather than spending time to figure out who is the right person, I prefer to use the time to self-help. Also, if you just sit over here and passively wait somebody talk with you, most likely the person is expecting help from you.

Last week, a classmate kindly talked with me. After exchanged a brief conversation, he asked my contact email and phone. I left him my email and also asked his. He is in his last semester of his MA. I told myself I was lucky this time that I might get help from this guy since his academic status was higher than me. This Monday, I received an email from him by asking my class notes. I got a little surprise. Because we were both in the class, if I could take good notes, no reason he couldn’t. Anyway, I emailed my notes to him; it hurt me nothing. In today’s class, according to the professor’s instruction, this guy voluntarily circulated his essay to class discuss. To my surprise again, his essay was very loose organized. He just completely has not idea about the structure of a college standard essay. Also, don’t you think it is funny that he started a three-page short essay like, “history is about the past.”

I puzzled how such a student is about to gain a history MA. Anyway, by encountering this example, I feel my writing skill is not so bad, and my self-confidence is suddenly increasing.

Oral Exams

2009-09-24T19:20:00.001-07:00

A few years ago when I thought about my career in the future, I clearly knew that I preferred the master program of history in a CUNY gradual school. However, in Queens College, go gain a history MA, one must pass two oral exams. I was overwhelmed and constantly sacred by it. I even planned to give up for this reason. Later, I discussed this issue with Professor Kaplan, one of my favorite professors in QC, she told me that everybody fear of oral exams, and encouraged me to go on. In this spring, at the time I was going to graduate and must make a decision, I chose history.

I comforted myself like this: I could take oral exams in the last year of my master degree; thus, I left myself one or two years to improve my speaking. In addition, the most of the graduate courses of history is seminar. For example, the courses I am taking now are both seminar. On the one hand, seminar is a tough class format for me; I am pained by it constantly. On the other hand, it is certainly the best way for me to practice formal speaking and discussing. Holding such a belief, I started my graduate school life.

However, a definite miracle occurred lately. Yesterday, when I mentioned the oral exams to a classmate in the evening class, she told me the oral exams did not exist anymore. She said that she had a classmate who took the oral exams last year. He called himself the last one taking oral exams in this school. I was overjoyed by this news, and could not bear to wait to the next day to go the department for a double check. This morning, I went the history department and a graduate advisor confirmed it. In the whole day, I feel I am the luckiest and happiest person in the world.

My office

2009-09-22T15:20:00.001-07:00

This week, my superior moved from the Student Union building to a set of new office rooms in the library building in QCC campus. By following her, I am given an individual office room, a desk, a computer and all the other necessary office supplies. It is unexpected, but of course I am very happy about that. When I told my friends that I have my own office in a college, they were amazed too. I wish I can take a picture in my office, and then send it to my father.I believe he must be happier and more proud than hearing I working as a cashier in a Chinese supermarket.

My superior is a pregnant middle age woman who is very nice to me. My English is very easy to be sensed even in the first contact, but she has never appeared any negative opinion on me. When I mentioned it, she replied like this, “but I know you understand everything. You have an accent, I have accent too.” In fact, she is a native English speaker; her accent is out of the question. By contrast, my English problem is certainly not only about accent, but much seriously. She said in such a polite way to make me happy. For this reason, I believe she is a very understanding and nice person. I feel I am really lucky to have her being my superior. However, I am nervous that how long her favor would last if my language capacity is lame to deal with the daily work. To perform an office job, doesn’t require one answering phone in a proper language, taking notes in correctly spellings? I suspect I can do these things efficiently. Doesn’t she suspect it too? I know I shouldn’t worry too much, but always try my best and without thinking of the result. At least, there is a good start.

A few hours later...

To study the course of Gandhi, I did a search of Yoga. Karma Yoga is one of the most important yoga paths to realize the ultimate truth. It means selfless action. Doing one’s duty without concern of results; action done without thought of gain. Yes, philosophy is indeed not a distant empty concept, but is tightly related with our everyday life.

Sudent Activities Center

2009-09-16T19:55:00.001-07:00

My new job is working in Student Activities Center in QCC. This center takes the main function to provide students a place for relax and fun. There are TVs, computers, pool, sofa, game rooms, and eating area. My job here is simple and easy. What I have done in the previous days was to watch students signing in and answer their questions about this center. Because it is not a study area, the atmosphere here is pretty relaxed. This feature is really different from the Media Center I have worked in QC.

I meet a lot of new people here, and I am trying to memorize all my co-workers’ names. It is hard to me, but I believe it is a good way to train myself to memorize new English words. Most of my co-workers, including my superior, are very nice to me. There is one who is not friendly. However, I am not a young person anymore; I have developed my way to deal with the difficulties in life. I just ignore her, and I am never annoyed by her and her gesture.

I can read my books during my work hours that is very good. If I am tired to study, I can watch TV, or talk with people. Also, in this center, I am the only Chinese speaker employee. Seem as my co-workers are all native English speakers. In addition, there are very a few Chinese students coming. Compare to other ethnic groups, Chinese take a more serious attitude to study and hold a more ambitious goal in the future. Chinese students usually go to the library rather than clubs. Staying here, I feel I finally involve into an English language environment since I have been this country many years.

Recently, I feel my English is ok to deal with daily activities, but it is certainly not good enough for formal class discuss. I wish I can gradually get improving. It is really an urgent issue because of the requirements of my current involving graduate program. However, I have to be realist, and to accept the fact that I can only get progress slowly. I don’t know others, but in my life, there is never miracle happened.

Writing Chinese Articles

2009-08-27T20:04:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow will be the first day that I work at QCC. I am a little bit nervous about that. Is it normal that everybody feels nervous facing a new environment? The new semester is starting tomorrow though my first class is on next Wednesday. I still have some time to cultivate a right mood to study since I have not study around three months. The graduate classes should not be easy at all. I wish I can do well as well.

Those days I was busy to compose some Chinese articles for North American Chinese Calligrapher Association. I like writing since I was very young, and also write some articles by my own interesting sometimes. However, when I did the recently writing task, I found there is a big different between writing formally and for personal interests. The former is much harder. I spent a lot of time to carefully choose words, to check mistakes. Some members in the association provided my warmly and valuable help which I really appreciate. I saw this writing as a good opportunity not only to improve myself on writing but also to get involve into the society.

First time tutoring Barry

2009-08-18T09:39:00.000-07:00

First thanks Kyoko for always leaving nice comment for me. I really enjoy the friendship.

I believe I have already been accepted by CUNY CAP, and am going to start the job in QCC from next Thursday. I’ll working in the admission office. Although I don’t know how the job is and what kind of people I am going to meet, I have the confidence that I can manage the new job.

I had the first tutoring for Barry Chinese yesterday. I arrived to the Chinese bakery five minutes before the arranged time, but Barry has already been here. He stood up to greet me and said that is American culture to stand up to greet one’s teacher. In additional, he insisted in buying the coffee for me. Not only that, he showed his concern that I would pay extra transportation fare to come to meet him. I explained to him that since I am about to work in QCC, I am using an unlimited Metro card now.

Before the tutoring, Barry knew I have my accent, but he still wanted to try. He was born in New York and he said he has accent too. He told me when he tutors students in English, he pays special attention to speak neutrally. He believed that even though the students couldn’t sense his accent, his peers, the other tutors in the library would watch his speaking.

In the first class, I asked Barry to read the first chapter of his Chinese textbook. By the way, Barry had his textbook when he took class in NYU. Both of us agree that it is an excellent book for the beginner to learn Chinese. Barry had already studied the whole book, but he certainly needs review in order to better understand the materials in the book; this is the part he wishes I can do for him. After I heard he spoke some Chinese words, I found his pronounce is not bad at all. When he speaks, rather than randomly copy any Chinese available to him, he strictly follows the accurate pinyin and tone of each word from the book, which makes his Chinese sounds good. At the same time, he was testing my Chinese too. Thanks for my teaching in this summer. The intensive teaching in pinyin polished my Chinese pronounce too. Barry was glad that my accent is not as heavy as he thought before.

Cha is a smart girl

2009-08-07T07:58:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning, as soon as I got up, I called CUNY CAP office. Nobody answered the phone. I continued calling after I went back home from school in the afternoon. Finally, a woman answered the call. After I explained my problem, she said she had no idea about my document going. I begged her to think about any other way to help me because it was really important for me. She then suggested me to call the admission office or financial aid office of Queens Borough Community College because the most of CAP candidates go to those departments. I called both of them, but neither one even had understood what CUNY CAP was.

I was almost despaired. I called back to CUNY CAP office, asking the same woman if in the case that I really could not get contact with this department, my document would pass to another department and I might still get chance to be called. She said she understood my concern and believed it would.

Nevertheless, I still didn’t totally lose hope. I wandered around QCC website. I found there was a department called academic advisement and with its number. I remembered when I filled my application, I chose academic advisement. Maybe I should call this department to try my lucky. When I called this number and explained my situation, I felt the person answered the phone seem as familiar about CUNY CAP. When she asked my last name then, I knew I got the right place. Oh, I just could not believe really found the person who called me that day. Can you image to find out a single person from a college with only a general college number. I apologized to her for my hanging up the phone that day, she forgave me. We made an appointment on next Monday morning.

I was overjoyed the whole afternoon and evening. I told Brian, Woo, Cha is a smart girl!

Missed an inportant call for job interview

2009-08-06T08:16:00.000-07:00

I am applying a program call CUNY CAP. If I am accepted, I can get six credit tuition waive as well as 15-20 hour job per week during every academic period. I am eager to be accepted by this program very much. Six credit tuition means $2000 every half year; it is not a small amount for me. Also having a part time job in a college is a perfect working condition for me during my graduate years.

I submitted the application last month and am waiting for the call or email for interview. Yesterday noon, when I was teaching in the Chinese class, there was an unknown call coming. Without thinking, I hung up my cell phone. A moment later, my cell phone rang again, I turned off it. Quickly, I realized the phone maybe a phone from one of CUNY College for an interview. After the class, I called back and found it was from Queens Borough Community College. Unfortunately, I have no way to figure out the extension number in order to call back. I am so dispirit by my stupid action of hanging up the cell and even turning it off.

This morning, I called the CUNY CAP office and wished they might know the department and number of QCC office who takes care of my case. Nobody answered the phone. I will try it again next morning. Also, I assume the staff in Queens Borough Community College may email me since he or she couldn’t contact with me by phone. I am waiting of the email, but I also doubt that the staff may get mad by my cell phone trouble and won’t any further action anymore.

This is a serious trouble and it was caused by my stupid thinking and behavior. I regretted about that, and I wish I learn a lesson from it in the future. Of course, the strongest wish of me right now is to make the situation up. My husband comforted me, saying, “You cannot lose all only because a missed call.” I’ll see what will happen following.

Losing an America student in my Sunday Chinese class.

2009-08-03T13:30:00.001-07:00

There is an America teenage girl in my Sunday class. Maybe I should use was instead of is because she has already absent twice in the passed weeks. Seem as she would never appear anymore. The head teacher likes her very much. He came to my class, saying, “Your teaching is good, but some students do not like change teachers. When a teacher is changed, they stop coming.” He asked me to call her to find out the reason of her absent. When class over, the principle approached and told me, “If there are students who is absent more than twice, you should call them.” I believe her words implied the same issue.

However, I feel I don’t like to call her. If she doesn’t like the teacher and then stop coming, her action made her opinion clearly. So, what is the point of my call? To present our fondness of her? To beg she come back because our Chinese school really eager some American students? If she doesn’t like me, would she come back for the reason of my call? Perhaps! I believe this is just the concern of the head teacher and the principle. In contrast, I certainly dislike this idea. Keeping self-respect is important for me but not the concern of the head teacher and the principle.

I never believe my teaching is perfect. The only thing I believe is that I always try my best when I do any job. I have my limitation. My style definitely could not fit to everybody. I value an American student in my class because it is so rare and special. However, if I have to lose, I accept the fate.
…
Maybe I should not think too much. It is just a call. I lose nothing, making life easier, making everybody happier. Unfortunately, I am not such an easy person in nature. I am over thinking, torturing myself, and making everyone around me unhappy.

History and Philosophy

2009-08-01T16:37:00.000-07:00

I am fully occupied by my teaching job lately. I am somehow exhausted by it though as well as enjoying it at the same time. My students are all very very lovely and cute. I have to yelling to them sometimes in order to keep a decent class circumstance. Also, I have to force them to study that becomes a new mission in my life. Before this teaching job, I believed that everybody took their responsibility of their actions, and the other person has no any duty to force anybody to do anything. Anyone could do whatever they wanted, and then they took the full consequence. However, being a teacher now, there is not this case at all.

There is a troublemaker boy in my class. He rarely studies but talking, running, and playing in the class. I have never given his smiling face, but always scold him. The purpose of doing this is to force him studying rather than staying idly. One day after the class, I again warned him if he didn’t study in the class, I would not welcome to my class any more. At that moment, his tutor was coming. She said she could represent this boy’s parent, and asked me to explain what happened on this boy. Observing this tutor’s expression, I believed she was not happy about the scene she was seeing. She said nobody dare scold this boy in the home. If one criticizes him in anything, his resistance would become stronger. I sensed her disapproval of my method of education on this boy.

I rejected her point immediately. I said I have spent a lot of time on him in the class. In my opinion, when a child is at home, his parents take the responsibility of his education; when he is in school, the teacher take this responsibility. If he was in my class and I ignored him and allowed him to do anything he wants, I failed my duty. I would never do such a thing. In addition, I told her, if the parents wished I do nothing on this boy, I could do that, but obviously, this boy would learn nothing in the class. Of course, the tutor dare not take this severe result, and she said nothing. However, when I thought again about my words later, I felt they were probably too strict and strong to be accepted even though the point was unquestionable. The next day, this boy absented. My worry was increasing. If he no longer came this school anymore, how can I explain this to the school principle? Fortunately, the boy came back the third day; everything is ok now.

I finally got Zachary’s Chinese name. It is Shi Zhe, following by Chinese order that the family name goes first and then the given name. In Chinese, shi means history, and zhe means philosophy. I immediately like this name for its awesome meaning. So, next time when I meet Zachary, I can avoid the embarrassing of mispronouncing his English name, but simply call his Zhe. It makes my life easier.

Twin girls

2009-07-23T22:05:00.000-07:00

This summer, I am teaching three different Chinese classes. One is on Saturday, one on Sunday, and the other class I meet it everyday from Monday to Friday. In my weekday class, there are twin girls. They are six years old, both of them having short hair and wearing glasses, and they are identical. They are sooooo cute and sweet, always sitting close to me, asking me questions. One day, I gave a cookie to the old sister for her answered a difficult question. Later, she asked me, “Teacher, Can I eat the cookie now?” After I said yes, she gladly said, “My sister and I are eating it now.” When I hear they calling “Teacher, Teacher”, I feel my heart is drunk.

Boys are always more difficult to deal with. To tell the truth, I like girls more than boys. Even in the real world, I feel women are generally kinder than men. Nevertheless, I never have a detesting emotion towards any kids. They are merely little kids, who are not yet polluted by the human world. The troublemaker boy in my class is still pure.

Except the teaching hours, I have to spend at least one and half hours everyday to prepare the tomorrow class, which is unpaid. Doing this job makes me rethink people’s common attitude towards job. For the most people, the initial and essential part of working is to earn salary. However, a good job bring a person getting connect to the society. It provides the opportunity for the individual to observe and offer assistance to other people’s lives. When a person gradually gets more and more involving in the society, the initial purpose, earning money, turns to be less important. What you gaining from the job besides the money enriches your spiritual life, which makes you really enjoy your life and this world.

By understanding this, when I do the teaching job, I don’t strictly require the fairness of the time I have input and the money I received. I just try my best to do the very thing in my hand in the present. I expect any bonus neither soon nor in the distant future. Can you understand the idea that doing a thing for no purpose? If I have to tell a reason, it should be enjoy doing a thing itself, the pay is already over there.

Teach and self-study pinyin

2009-07-21T08:33:00.000-07:00

In the summer week day school, I am teaching first grade students. In the past, I taught high grades only. The main focus of the first grade is Pinyin. Be honestly, I don’t have sufficient knowledge of Pinyin. I cannot distinguish zh ch sh and z c s, en in and eng ing. Also, in Chinese, there are four tones for every character. My students usually have problems about the tone. I depend on the dictionary to sure my judgment of the tone as well. So, this teaching period turn to be a time of self-study pinyin for me. Nevertheless, unlike children, adults often have better comprehensive capacity. I believe I can catch up in a short period if I really study. The process is hard and time-consumed, but I think it is worthy to do. If I don’t teach Chinese and pinyin, I may never have a strong enough motivation to study pinyin in my whole life.

My students are most in the age range about 5-8. They are so cute. However, it doesn’t produce good effect that I praise and hug them too much. By doing that, they will be quickly spoiled. They are all smart enough to watch the teacher’s eyes and face expression in order to make a decision to obey or disobey. If you cannot control them in the beginning, they will never listen to the teacher anymore, and play and talk throughout in the class. I am deeply and deeply understanding why some teacher who are so strict. They are forced to do that for the students’ sake. Yesterday was my first day of the week school class. There are 15 children. In the past, I had no more than 12 in one class. Yesterday, to control the situation, I had to speak very loudly and even yelling in order to get their attention. I totally dislike that. I wonder I may lose my voice, the worst thing for a teacher. I believe I can find out a better way to teach small kids gradually.

I met my student Zachary the second time yesterday morning. We did the review of materials of our first class. For this class, I prepared a few topics, so we went though them one by one. How to call a taxi, ask directions, introduce oneself, talk about weather. At the last, we talked about food. Zachary knew the term of vegetarian in Chinese. I introduce him the opposite word, meat-eater in Chinese. I don’t know if there is a similar term in English. I asked him that how many vegetarians in his friend circle. He answered that he knew none vegetarian. I was laughing, saying, “I love to eat meat, too.” Sorry Kyoko, I know your husband and you are vegetarians. You may feel disgust to imagine someone gobbling meats.

I told Zachary I am reading Gandhi’s autobiography lately. Gandhi was a strict vegetarian, and in his later life, he ate fruits and nuts only. Zachary said he knew this story. I am attracted by Gandhi's book and wish I have more time to discuss it. Zachary and I will meet again this Thursday.

$35 per hour

2009-07-13T10:29:00.000-07:00

It is 1 pm in the noon. I am going to see my student one hour late in a nearby coffee house. I am feeling so nervous now. This is my first time to tutor a stranger. I don’t the person’s gender, race, personalities, or any other information. What I know is that he or she is a college student who is going to go to China next month. For this reason, he or she asks me to tutor him/her Chinese.

He or she will pay $35 per hour although I can only get 60% of the amount. I usually earn the minimum wage in this country, and I am really not used to such a high pay. I wonder how much effort I must offer in order to balance the whole event.

I complained this to my mother when I called her a few days ago. Why those tutors in that tutoring site raise tutoring price in such a high level? Don’t they understand high price implies high quality and responsibility? In my opinion, $12-15 is reasonable price.

However, my mother disagreed with my opinion. She thought I should not look down myself. “You should have the confidence that you work is worth 35 dollars.” Woo, how can I have such a kind of confidence if I have been continuing to struggle for a living many years. I have worked for a wage as lower as $4 per hour and kept working for the wage of $5 per hour many months. Is it reasonable asking me to feel comfortable and easy to take a $35 per hour job? I have not a princess, and never.

When after my tutoring, I’ll come back to tell you how things going on. Bye, Pink Tear!

Three hours later…

I finished my tutoring and came back home now. The guy came half hour late, but I don’t blame him for that. I stay at the nearby coffee house, paying no transportation fee and time, but he drove to come to me. He is a nice guy. What he wants is to focus on conversations of daily life. I think he was satisfied by today’s tutoring and the place I chose. We made the deal to go on to meet next Monday and Thursday. I really earned a salary rate as $35/hour. It is amazing.

Help Candy to prepare GED test

2009-07-08T23:04:00.001-07:00

I helped Candy to prepare GED test yesterday. After knowing me free today, she asked me coming to the Flushing public library again the next day to help her. I am happy to do this for her. Today, I met her in the noon. We had Korean noodles as lunch. Every time when I have meal with Candy together, she always can introduce new restaurants to me. It is always nice to try new foods.

After lunch, we went the library to study. There are five sections of GED test, including writing, reading, social science, science, and mathematics. The writing part is the toughest one. Candy has a friend who took the test recently. She passed all the sections except the writing part. Except mathematics, Candy feels difficult on social science and science too. For example, today we encountered one question asking the idea that the fittest beings will be survival but the weak beings will die out belongs to which school of thought. I knew it is the key idea of Social Darwinism. This is a test for general knowledge. However, for people lacking of it, it is hard to take a guess in the exam. Unfortunately, it can only be a gradually cumulate way to gain this kind of knowledge, but no shortcut to get a sudden improvement.

There are always benefits of being a volunteer. If I have not offered my help to Candy, I probably will never know the informant of GED test. I am also going to tutor Barry in Chinese soon. Yesterday, I presented my honor certificate to Barry. My purpose is to prove my quality in Chinese. I don’t care that people may think I am showing off, but I believe my action is necessary to provide additional confidence to Barry. Barry told me he would email me when he is ready to study with me. I like to do that because from tutoring him, I will gain more tutoring experience, which ultimately benefits myself.

Summer reading

2009-07-07T22:12:00.000-07:00

I am reading Gandhi’s autobiography lately. In the passed spring semester, I took the Early Indian history course by Professor Sen. Professor Sen is very knowledgeable Indian and friendly to me. I enjoyed his class very much. When I found he would teach a graduate course about Gandhi and non-violence next semester, I was attracted by this topic immediately. At the end of the spring class, I asked him to recommend a few book for me in summer reading ahead for this course. He suggested me to read Gandhi’s autobiography, The Story of My Experiments with Truth.

So far, I have already finished more than half of this book. I like it very much. The language of this book is plain. I think this attribute excellently matches Gandhi’s lifestyle, spirit, and philosophy. In this book, Gandhi portrayed his private life very briefly, but his emphasis was on how to serve the public. Gandhi was open-minded. He never tired to contact with variety of people to help him in public work. It is not because Gandhi himself had anything special, but what he did for others making him saintly. I quoted many good expressions of him on my facebook page for record. Inspiring by this excellent book, I am planning to read a few more famous books after I finish this one.

Reading New York Times articles is another summer plan for me. I try to everyday reading one. There are double benefits by doing this. First, when I read the article, I read it loudly. If I encounter unknown vocabulary, I check the dictionary to find out both the definition and pronunciation of the word. By doing this, I corrected a number of mispronounced words. Second, through reading newspapers, I become more familiar about the last happenings in the world.

Today I read an article that is about President Obama visiting Russia. I couldn’t fight out how to pronounce Russian president’s name. When I met my tutor Barry this afternoon in Flushing, I conducted him this question. After told me the correct pronounce, Barry mentioned that even President Obama could not pronounce this name. Can you believe that?

Chinese Tutor

2009-07-02T21:08:00.000-07:00

Barry asked me if I could tutor him Chinese this summer. He said he’d like I read to him, and also listen to his reading and correct him, for which he couldn’t do alone. He said he had sought Chinese tutors online. Although he didn’t feel their charge high, he prefers study with me since we know each other well. It is my pleasure I can do something for him.

Later, when I recalled about his words, I told myself that why I am not to be a Chinese tutor? I have already gained my BA in East Asian Studies with honor in Chinese, and I also have around one year Chinese teacher experience. After done some Internet search, I successfully registered to be a Chinese tutor in a website. Although there are many Chinese wanting to tutor but seldom somebody seeking a tutor, I still expect to get a tutoring job. So far, I have gotten three potential tutoring opportunities. The last person had already deposited his/her credit care number but finally being lost contact. I didn’t know what’s happened within the process and had no way to find out the real reason. I couldn’t deny my disappointment about it, but it was really not strong. If somebody approached, I have confidence that somebody else will come soon or late. I am waiting for the future success.

Teaching Tang Poetry

2009-06-25T22:35:00.001-07:00

I do not know if everyone has a romantic prospect of his or her adulthood profession while they are growing up. When I was a teenager, I wished to be a Chinese teacher in my home village. I wished in a fine spring day, I would instruct children to recite the poetry from Tang Dynasty, meanwhile, spring peach blossoms falling in front of the windows.

If I have not come to America, it was impossible for me to be a Chinese teacher. Fortunately, in America, Chinese is one of the minor languages, and being a native Chinese speaker provides me the opportunity to be a Chinese teacher. I started my teaching career since last year, and last Saturday, I finally got a chance to teach Tang poetry.

We studied two poems, Recollecting Shangdong Brothers at the Ninth Month Ninth Day by Wangwei, and Accidentally Writing when Return Home by Hezhizhang. In spite of the fact that the two poems are too familiar for all Chinese to create a fresh expression, I still insist in their extraordinary excellence. I believe this is just the eternal allurement of Tang poetry.

For my around ten-year-old students, the poem by He is relatively easy, but the poem by Wang is certainly hard to be understood. To push them to study them, I promised gifts for the one who could recite the poems without looking at the book. To my surprise, most of the kids have done a good job on it although they usually showed no interesting in Chinese study in the class. For a few who could not recite, they asked a few more minters to prepare. I was glad to see their serious attitude towards the study. After all of them recited the poems, one even claimed that he could write down them without the reference of the book. I immediately responded that whoever could do that I would present an extra gift to him or her. Thus, they became even more excited. I have never seen such a thrilling atmosphere in the class. In the past, their excitements were never relevant to study. Of course, at this moment, the most proud person was me.

The scene of teaching Tang poetry that I have dreamed numerous times came a little bit unexpectedly. It was not identical with what I portrayed in my childhood. I can never image that my first time teaching Tang poetry was in such a foreign classroom, such a peaceful Saturday morning, and encountering those Chinese kids with little Chinese literary background. Nevertheless, this scene was still so romantic and touching. The two poems are the most typical Tang poems; they are the core of Chinese literature. Regardless all the conditions, neither I care about how long the kids would remember the poems. At that moment, I sensed the essence of Tang poetry springing up on the foreign land and the different time; its magnificent gesture and universal philosophy suddenly expressed. Perhaps, the achievable aspiration is always stand between the realism and the idealism. We are surrounding by our dreams and the reality; this is the manifestation of today.

Make new friends

2009-06-22T10:15:00.000-07:00

One third of the summer break is over, but I have not found a job yet. I have sent many copy of my resume out, and took a few job interviews, but I am idle now. When I was in school, I had no feeling about the real situation of the economy in this county; however, as long as I started my job hunting, I got an extremely hard time for getting a job.

Anyway, even though I could not get a job the whole summer, I will not starve to die. My husband found a job two month ago. His salary can afford our basic expense. I never want expensive house or cars. In fact, on the one hand, I urge to find a job to earn some money; on the other hand, I value the free time that I can use to improve my English pronunciation and practice Chinese calligraphy. Perhaps the true reason I have not found a job is because I lack a strong motivation to find a job.

Since I joined the NACCA, North America Chinese Calligraphy Association, I made many wonderful new friends and get much more social activities. The members in the association are all older than me. Some of them are seniors, and most of them are males. In comparison with my young friends, I enjoy more my friendship with them. They are mature enough; most of our members have various excellent knowledge, only on Chinese Calligraphy, but also on Chinese literature, Chinese medicine, computer science, etc.

When I closed my door and concentrated on self-study when I was young, I felt myself was the number one in the world. Contacting with friends and the outside world makes me obtain a more realistic evaluation to myself. Even though I am awfully disappointed by being a mediocre person, I am glad to know the truth.

The difficulties of the Writings of the Vietnam War

2009-06-05T14:29:00.001-07:00

Memory is all about the past, but it is actually a reconstruction of the past by human mind. Writing, as a particular form of memory, may explore the past events in a more profound manner, but it still cannot completely duplicate the past. Particularly, when people encounter deconstructive or uncertain phenomena, for example, wars, they get great difficulties to construct the memory in writing. During 1960s and 1970s, when America was involved in the Vietnam War, Americans had been suffering from lasting warfare, huge casualties, and an end of loss. In the war, the concerns of politics by the government and the concerns of loss of lives by the society and individuals caused great conflicts. After the war, Maya Lin designed the Vietnam Veterans Memorial by possessing the theme of mourning for dead soldiers but rejecting political factors of the war. Her theory suits the majority of Americans in their view of this particular war. Vietnam War novels usually stir up difficulties of the war from individual perspective. In his book, The Things They Carried, American writer Tim O’Brien describes many terrible war experiences of soldiers, but he insists that the truth of war is impossible to be described and understood. In comparison with O’Barien, The Sorrow of War by Vietnam write Bao Ninh presents different struggles and sufferings of Vietnamese due to their traditions and the specific post war conditions in Vietnam.
The Vietnam War is an essentially unpopular and unsuccessful war. The chief reason America became involved in the Vietnam War was to prevent the spread of Communism in Asia. However, common Americans had little interests in this political concern. They did not see that the war took place in a far away Asian country was relevant to their lives. A citizen in Beallsville said, “I don’t think this is a war to defend America or to make America a better place to live in (Blankfort 393). Due to the complicated situation in Vietnam, for example, the corruption of the government of South Vietnam, America was unable to gain a decisive victory but was dragged into a lasting war. Although America finally withdrew in 1975, many harmful consequences had already been resulted.
In Reporting Vietnam American Journalism 1959-1975, the writings about the experiences of soldiers are poignant. In the article, “Our Town: The War Comes Home to Beallsville, Ohio” by Jeffrey Blankfort, the author describes unusual war experiences of those residents of Beallsville. As stated by Blankfort, “Viet-Nam has taken a tool from Beallsville that is 75 times the national average” ( Blankfort 386). Many of the young soldiers who were sent to Vietnam were killed in a very short period of time. For example, Duane Greenlee “was sent to Viet-Nam that July and served 44 days before he was killed” (Blankfort 389). His death severely impacted his parents, and as a result, they separated. In other words, the war not only killed a young man, but also destroyed his entire family. Death and destruction of families were already difficult to be accepted, but when there was no a proper explanation of the death and destruction, the situation became even worse. As Duane’s mother commented, “[Duane] said he didn’t know what he was going over there for. […] He didn’t see any sense in it and I don’t see where we’ve gained anything at all by any of them being over there. I just wish was all over” (Blankfort 390). In fact, the war experiences of Beallsville residents reveal a key dilemma of the Vietnam War. Political concern was the real motivation for America participated in the war; but it had long been denounced by American society and people. As a result, the ultimate goal of the war developed into an uncertain appearance. Neither the government nor society could not find a moral explanation to recognize the sacrifices of those dead soldiers. Being restricted by these difficulties, Americans’ memories of the Vietnam War were hard to be formed. For the same reason, the main features of the writings of the war tended to be questions, gloominess and confusion.
After the war, the proposal of the Vietnam Veteran Memorial in Washington D. C. caused controversy. The appearance of the memorial represents the nation’s perspective towards the war, but different people had different opinions on it. Maya Lin’s design was ultimately selected, with a theme focusing on the dead soldiers rather than other factors of the war. Lin’s design had been unfairly criticized due to her young age, gender, and Asian origins. In fact, compared to aged or more experienced experts, Lin’s personal background works to her advantage. Maya Lin’s lack of war experience released her from the details of this particular war; being a female provides her an insight different from males. Her plain but imposing design presents a universal view of the loss of lives in the wars. As Lin stated in her article, Making the Memorial, “I wanted to create a memorial that everyone would be able to respond to, regardless of whether one thought our country should or should not have participated in the war” (Lin 33). Lin attempted to completely get rid of the political factors from her design. She said, “I felt that the politics had eclipsed the veterans, their service, and their lives”, and hoped “this memorial acknowledged those lives without focusing on the war or on creating a political statement of victory or loss” (Lin 33).
By ignoring politics, Lin avoided much confusion and disgrace regarding the war. She preferred to concentrate on the loss of lives, another central problem of the Vietnam War. On the memorial wall, the dead soldiers’ names were carved on highly polished granite. Visitors can touch the carved names and can observe their reflections on the wall overlapping these names. The low height of the memorial provides an intimacy between the visitor and the deaths, and black color of the memorial presents a sentiment of gloom. However, the wall has no glorious or patriotic implication at all. Lin intentionally left such a kind of gloomy and uneasy experience to visitors. She believed that “accepting a person’s death is the first step in being able to overcome that loss” (Lin 33). Lin’s article explains the memorial and presents an idea that political reasons caused the difficulties of the war. She asserted that Americans should focus on the universal understanding of life and death, so they could overcome the difficult experience of loss.
Unlike Lin’s rational manner of thinking and writing, O’Brien’s novel emotionally presents individual soldiers’ terrifying war experiences and their enduring inner struggles in the post war period. In The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien, an American soldier, Norman Bowker and his partners had to stay in a “shit field” all night while it was raining (O’Brien 146). Bowker had witnessed the sinking and burying of his partners. This experience was too dramatic and terrifying to be accepted by anyone. Even though someone physically survived, they became mentally and emotionally altered. As the author describes, in a post war day, Norman Bowker drove a car around a lake over and over from the noon to the late afternoon (O’Brien 138). The symbolic meaning of it is that Vietnam War veterans were traumatized by the deaths of the soldiers and the terrible war memories. Although war was over and they physically returned to a peaceful world, their all memories were about the Vietnam War. Being unable to bear the mental sufferings, Bowker committed suicide several years after the war (O’Brien 160).
O’Brien believes that the essence of the war cannot be fully captured by using words, nor be comprehended by the reader, which causes a struggle in his writing. In the chapter of “How to Tell a True War Story” in The Things They Carried, O’Brien claims that “[a] true war story is never moral” (O’Brien 68). As a rule, a writer is expected to provide something positive and moral in order to inspire the reader. In regards to writing about war, writers could argue war’s moral features such as defending one’s homeland. Nevertheless, since the ultimate purpose of the Vietnam War is confusing, O’Brien does not see any moral aspect of it, and thus struggles on the ideology in his writing. For this reason, he says that “[t]he old rules are no longer binding, the old truths no longer true” (O’Brien 82). In addition, the extremely brutal aspect of the war severely damaged soldiers’ normal emotion and mentality. “In war you lose your sense of the definite, hence your sense of truth itself, and therefore it’s safe to say that in a true war story nothing is ever absolutely true” (O’Brien 82). Even though he personally experienced the war, O’Brien feels that he is unable to recall and analyze the actual war. Hence, for a common reader who is distant from Vietnam War, it would be more difficult for him or her to understand the writing as well as the real meaning of the war.
Although the North Vietnam gained the final victory of the war, the fact that the war took place in Vietnam suggests the truth that the Vietnamese must suffer more than Americans. During the end of the war, American soldiers quickly retreated from Vietnam and returned to their home. Although they were badly injured by the war, physically or mentally, they now lived in another peaceful and prosperous society. In contrast, Vietnamese had to live on the destructive land and chaotic society after the war. The Vietnamese had no way to escape their tough situation in a material level as well as a spiritual level.
The particular traditions of Vietnam caused the Vietnamese were extremely difficult to deal with the deaths in the war. According to After the Massacre by Heonik Kwon, the Vietnamese makes a clear distinction between “death at home” and “death in the stress;” the former refers to natural death which is considered good, but the latter refers to unnatural death which is bad (Kwon 89).The prolonged and brutal war resulted in countless deaths all the places in this country. It became a source of the bitter pain to Vietnamese. Beyond that, being unable to properly bury the dead is regarded as a disgrace to family members. “In popular knowledge, the dead who are properly entombed in an appropriate site according to ritual propriety are less inclined to roam about the streets than those who are improperly buried and did not benefit from remembrance rites” (Kwon 89). Despite the fact that the Vietnamese tried very hard to look for and rebury their family deaths with proper rituals after the war, the situation in Vietnam provided no basis to fully fulfill their goal. This fact left tremendous suffering to Vietnam society as well as individuals.
In the Vietnam novel, The Sorrow of War by Bao Ninh, the author provides a universal detestation of the war and individuals’ suffering in the war. Kien is a Vietnam War veteran with a prominent feature as sorrow. Although he was lucky to survive the war, most of his partners died. After the war, he found that the relationship between his first lover and himself can never be recovered. The war destroyed their innocence and left only awful marks on them. As Ninh comments in the book, “war was a world with no home, no roof, no comforts. A miserable journey, of endless drifting. War was a world without real men, without real women, without feeling” (Ninh 31).
More importantly, Ninh’s novel unfolds the fact that the difficulties of the war memory of the Vietnamese is directly related to their cultural and social background that differs from Americans’. Lan, a common village woman in Vietnam, lost her brothers, then her mother, then her husband, then her son during the war (Ninh 54). In the post war period, she intended to go other place to rebuild her life, but she changed her mind. “I just couldn’t leave my mother and my son lying over there” (Ninh 54). The Vietnamese regard their dead family members as important as living family members. This belief and the large amount of deaths in the war combined caused the considerable difficulties of the Vietnamese when they tried to get rid of their terrible war memories and to start a new life.
Because the political concerns of the Vietnam War were rejected by American society and the majority of individuals, the ultimate goal of the war became vague. Also, the failure of the war and the large loss of lives in the war provided a special and difficult experience for Americans to construct their war memories. Both the writings and the memories of war share similar features such as difficulty, struggle, and confusion. While news reports offer real stories to illustrate the central problem of loss of lives of soldiers, O’Brien’s novel depicts soldiers’ unbelievable war experiences and their enduring inner struggles. The unique features of the Vietnam War result in the visible difficulties in his writing. In fact, in Vietnam, the destruction of the land and their traditions caused more difficulty in this country than in America. For this reason, Ninh’s novel appears a constantly gloomy impression, which at the same time reveals the writer’s struggle in writing.

4 As & 1 A+

2009-06-05T14:26:00.000-07:00

I got all my grades of this semester a few days ago; they are pretty good. Except the gym course, I got all As on the rest four courses. In fact, I got an A+ on the gym course. This is the second time I got 4.0 as a term GPA. Consequently, my final GPA rose up to 3.818. It is indeed a perfect conclusion of my undergraduate study. I didn’t expect an A on Anthr 201, because I got a B+ on one paper of this course, and that professor is not an easy person. Perhaps, the reasons could be that I did the extra credit assignment and my final papers were not as terrible as I considered.

Last week, I attended a few ceremonies, including the graduation ceremony. The graduation ceremony day was rain and the speeches were boring. Yujun came to the campus and presented a bouquet of flowers to me. We had a lunch together, and watched a movie in the afternoon, The Night at Museum II. It was fun.

This week I start my job hunting. Everybody on the Earth knows it is difficult to find a job now. It is worthless to repeatedly claim this fact; nevertheless, you have to experience it, deeply. Anyway, I strongly believe that everyone will have a job if you urge to have, regardless how long you have to wait.

Brian’s job requests him returning home very late sometimes, like 1 or 2 am. Since the public transportation gets very slow during the mid-night, he usually takes double or triple times than the regular hours he spends on the way to back home. Thus, he is planning to drive my aunt’s car to go to work. I don’t know if it is a good idea or not. Even though my aunt treats us politely, our terrible is ours, nor hers. I believe that she will not be unhappy when we use her car occasionally, but I don’t think that she will be still happy if Brian uses her car regularly. If I was her, I won’t either. I just resent Brian why he wants to others’ things.

Yesterday Brian drove her car one day. Today is the second day and he planed to return it tonight. In this afternoon, I received my aunt’s call. Only one sentence, “I’ll use my car tomorrow.” I was embarrassed on the phone. Brian is my husband, the money he earn sharing to me. For this reason, I cannot complain that I have to deal with those difficulties due to him. I just hope Brian would not plan to use my aunt’s car anymore.

The cultural ideals of Bedouin

2009-05-22T17:21:00.000-07:00

This is one of sixes essays I have written for my anthropology 201 this semester. I think it is the most interesting one, because it deals with some very unique cultural ideals. Yes, it is an A paper too. I have received a B+ on my first paper of this class, I won’t post it here; it is not so interesting to read.

How Bedouin Women Fit into their Ideological Role

In Veiled Sentiments by Lila Abu-Lughod, the codes of honor are regarded as one of the essential elements to construct the ideology of the Bedouin society. Given the fact the Bedouin is patriarchal society, men are dominant and carry the codes of honor, including independence and self-control. Nevertheless, low social class or dependent men and women present voluntary deference in order to achieve their honor. Particularly, Abu-Lughod analyzes women’s role in the society. Women are considered inferior because they are naturally less independent and incapable of controlling their bodies; menstruation and sexuality are undeniable evidence of it. Most importantly, sexuality, which is closely related with women, directly threatens the fundamental social pattern of patriarchy. Hence, women wear veils in order to present their realization of shame and characteristic modesty; this is their voluntary deference, a specific way for women fulfilling the social ideology and achieving honor.

Menstruation and sexuality indisputably demonstrate the fate that women are short of the capability to control their bodies. Menstruation is judged unclean and a pollutant by Bedouins as well as many other people in the world. “A menstruating woman cannot pray” (130). However, menstruation is a natural attribute of women; no women can resist it. Since self-control, including controlling one’s natural desires, is promoted as honor by Bedouins, consequently, menstruation becomes an inherent weakness in women. They are unable to do anything to amend the fact but admitting their inferiority in comparison with men.

Sexuality is constantly linked with reproduction in the Bedouin. This process of reproduction demonstrates women’s dependence and lack of self-control. Sexual intercourse implies women’s dependence. They have to get the cooperation from their husband in order to complete it. Pregnancy and birth-bearing expose women’s failure to control themselves. An example Abu-Lughod offers is that during the pregnancy, women lose control over their own bodies (133). It is true that the bodies of pregnant women grow abnormally. Because of these natural attributes, women are viewed as inferior and as being less honor than men. They become the vehicles for men to perpetuate lineages (133). For this same reason, older postmenopausal women, who are no longer reproductive and less sexually active, are less controlled by others (133).

More importantly, sexuality is a serious threat that challenges the patriarchal system. As mentioned above, sexuality proves women’s dependence because they need men to fulfill this process. Therefore, sexuality reveals men’s dependence as well. When men depend on women to get sexual satisfaction, they are inclined to attach emotionally to women. Before a man gets married, he completely follows the order of patriarchy and fully respects his father and senior kin males. However, after the marriage, sexuality creates intimacies between the wife and the husband, which is a strong force competing for the men’s obeisance of the patriarchy. It “challenge[s] to the hierarchical relationship between providers and dependents, or elders and juniors” (147). Understandably, senior agnates ignore junior agnates weddings, subconsciously recognizing the threat such weddings pose to their authority (147). The implication of sexuality in Bedouin culture is extremely profound.

Based on these analyses above, the real reason Bedouin women wear veils can be explained. In comparison with common American stereotypes about the veil, which generally means women cover their face in order to avoid sexually attracting men; consequently, it prevents further sexual activities from taking place. Oppositely, from the Bedouin perspective, women wear veils because they are innately shameful. The sexual relation between men and women forcefully challenges the fundamental social order of this society. Although sexuality is necessary for reproduction and is unavoidable, the troublesome consequence of sexuality is undeniable and women should accept responsibility for it. The veil demonstrates women’s self-mastery and the code of modesty. Despite the fact that women cannot effectively control their bodies and some natural processes such as sexuality, their attitudes of understanding the shame and showing modesty are a typical form of voluntary deference; their independent choices assist them to achieve honor.

The fact that neither all the women wear veils nor do they wear veils all the time and in all places additionally reveals the significance of the veil. First of all, unmarried girls do not have to wear veils. They have no sexuality, making no threat on the social order and having no shame at all. Due to less or no sexuality, older women wear veils less frequently. Married women are the category of people who wear veils, but they do this depending on the situation. When they encounter high status males, they always wear veils. The profound meaning here is that women’s sexuality with their husband results in the husbands’ greater respect for their wives than those senior males. Married women wear veils because they feel shame about this fact. Nevertheless, women do not wear veils in front of their husbands because their husbands share with their shame.

In the Bedouin society, people emphasize the codes of honor in order to maintain the patriarchal social order. Women are naturally less independent and have less self-control. Particularly, they are closely associated to sexuality, a dilemma, that on the one hand, is essential for reproduction, and on the other hand, threatens the patriarchal system. Veiling represents women’s acknowledgement of shame. This is a critical way that women participate in the society and show their attempt to fit into the Bedouin ideology. Their honor is not placed on independence and self-control, but voluntary deference.

The last day of my life as an undergraduate student

2009-05-22T17:11:00.000-07:00

This noon, I handed in my final paper of history 392W to the professor’s mail box in the department office. At 3 o’clock in the afternoon, I emailed two final essays to the professor of Anthropology 201. So, at this moment, I am done. It is a big turning point of my academic life.

Because of the decreasing budget, the school writing center ended its torturing service a week before the last day of the semester. The assignments of my final papers were handed out at the day the center close. Thus, I had to find assistances from my friends on my papers. I asked Barry to correct my anthropology papers. I really did not want to spend him too much time, so I told him to correct the big grammatical errors only. However, Barry took this task seriously. He read my papers very carefully, not only correcting my grammatical errors, but showing better expressions to me. Moreover, he discussed the main ideas and supporting details to me too. I went to see him at 5 o’clock in the Tuesday afternoon, and expected to finish the papers within one hour. However, on Tuesday, we talked about my paper until 7 o’clock but we had done only the first one. Barry asked me coming on the next day. He took my second paper home and read and prepared for the next day discuss. On Wednesday, we met 4 o’clock. When we were done, the time was 7 o’clock again. I felt so sorry about this, but Barry said he enjoyed the discussion of my papers. I believed his words because there cultural topics were indeed interesting.

I bought a box a strawberry and a bag of cherry to Barry on the Wednesday. At first, he refused to take. Those old ladies who study English with Barry told him that was my expression of gratitude. Then, he accepted and said, “Ok, I like strawberry, and my wife likes cherry.” I am glad to hear that. Barry and his wife are going to vacation next week. The students in the ESL center and me all are could not wait to see him again.

I asked my ex-coworker Jennifer to help me on my history paper. I didn’t want to ask one person to do too much job; instead, I asked two people. Jennifer has a BA in English major, and she is such a sweet girl. I thought she should do a quicker job than Barry, but she still spent three hours to check the seven page paper. She helped me on sentence by sentence, word to word. After she checked my paper, I had confidence to hand in my paper. I am so glad that I have so many wonderful people in my life. I wanted to treat Jennifer a dinner after she spent time on my paper, but her mother called her and insisted her eating at home. So, I promised her I would make some Sushi for her when she works in school next Friday.

I do not have anymore work to do at least today or tonight. I can do anything I want now. I am happy that I successfully finish my college career. Even though tomorrow is unsure, I don’t worry too much at this moment. As the college, my friends and family members had done, I also recognize my hard work and ambitions. Congratulations, Pink tear!

Awards from QC History Department

2009-05-11T19:14:00.000-07:00

I have only one final exam this semester, South Asia history, and I finished it today. It is not difficult at all, five identifications. I expect an A or A- on this course. There are still four papers that I have to do in order to finish all courses; one is two page (for extra credit), two are four page, and another is eight paper. I am looking forward to the summer vacation although I am indeed enjoying the tense studying, which keep me from a boring live.

I got two awards from my department last Friday. They are called “World History Prize” and “Department Honor”, respectably. Barry had told me he would come and he really did. He took it seriously. He had a business in Manhattan in that morning. After that, he rushed to Queens to join my ceremony. He also prepared a present for me. He knew I like calligraphy, so he asked his one of his Chinese students to select a calligraphy book for me. They ran to all bookstores in Flushing but they were disappointed. Thus, Barry went to Manhattan Chinatown and finally found a good calligraphy book for me. I am so touched by his action. He is a really really nice Jewish.

After the ceremony, we went to Kissena Park to have a walk. The weather was so nice. Tree leaves were in fresh green. We walked around the lake and then stayed down aside to watch some old men playing a ball game. Barry have told me the name of the game, sorry I could not remember it now. Some of those men spoke Italian. Barry was enjoying listening to his mother language.

Barry and his wife are going to have a one month trip to Southeast Asia, including Vietnam, Thailand. He said after he comes back, he may take a Chinese class in the school where I am teaching in July. I wish them having a wonderful trip and wish to see Barry again soon.

Preparing the final exams

2009-05-07T08:48:00.000-07:00

There are only two weeks left for this semester. I have one final exam that will be next Monday, for history 144. For history 392 and Anthropology 201, I am expected to complete an 8 page paper for each of them. This final exam period is not exciting because there is no an exact time as a sudden end, but passing gradually.

I have measured my time and believe I have enough time to finish these tasks. The due of the last paper is May 22. After that, my undergraduate program is end. Probably, I have to say the end is a wide opened new start after four and half year college study.

Brian found a job a few days ago after stayed at home many months. This job has a higher salary and is closer at our home than his first job. This is a photo frame manufacture, which is similar with Brian’s first company despite it has a much larger scale. Although his first job was an depressed memory for us, it at least provided Brian some experience and also became the partial reason that this company hires him.

His work schedule is basically 10-6, but not fixed. I think it is very acceptable working hours. I remember someone said, it is happiness that family member can have dinner together. Because of my miserable pervious work experience, always came back home 10 or 11 at night, I totally comprehend the profound meaning of these words, although it looks simple and easy. Unlike me, Brain told me he would like stay in the work place as late as he could, “I have already stayed at home too long. Right now I like to work”.

The First essay of History 392W

2009-04-22T20:13:00.000-07:00

I received an A on the first paper of History 392W. I am overjoyed by this grade. Not only this paper is weigh twenty percent of the final grade, but this course is a high level writing intensive course; in other word, it is not an easy A course. Regardless what the final grade I will receive, I am proud by this paper now.

Developing a Sense of American Identity After Independence

Americans paid much effort to win the Revolutionary War, and the establishment of a national government after the war was not without trouble. However, an even more difficult and complicated issue was how Americans gradually attached themselves to the new nation and how patriotic sentiment increased among American citizens. Among many obstacles and difficulties, were many people’s passion for Britain and the ideological and economic diversity between the northern and southern colonies. These two major problems prevented Americans from forging a common ground.
Despite this fact, the sense of Americanism was slowly developing by mixed factors and forces. The pamphlet, Common Sense, by Thomas Paine, straightforwardly pointed out the advantage and necessity of independence. The Declaration of Independence, a fundamental document of the U.S., guarantees basic human rights to American citizens, which is extremely important for the growth of American legislation, the political system and culture. Moreover, the transformation of the historical figure of Washington into a demi-god image, and the mature ceremonials of the Fourth of July can be considered two outstanding forces that contributed to the formation of Americans’ patriotism.
Although America gained official independence and established a new government after the American Revolutionary War (1775-1783), not all the people living in this country were happy to call themselves Americans. Given the fact that almost all Americans were immigrants from Europe, many of them were tightly tied to Europe, particularly with Britain, by either lineage or commercial reasons. For these people, they regarded Britain as a nurturing mother who assisted and protected American colonies since the very beginning. They felt that they were closer to Europe than the land of America and were willing to remain loyal to the British king. Moreover, many people possessed the belief that being dependent on Britain was helpful to maintain their established economic position. They were reluctantly to be hostile to Britain.
Not only individuals, but colonies had the sentiment that they were not a whole. Colonies emphasized sovereignty. They joined into the Union for obtaining larger benefits. If their interests were threatened, they believed that they had the rights to withdraw. Since the economic situation and historical background among American colonies were various, colonies had developed very different characteristics from each other. For example, in early British colonies, Chesapeake was characterized by indentured labor; they were mostly single young men with few families or communities. In contrast, in New England, the main economic feature was based on subsistence agriculture and free individual farmers. There were self-governed communities, in which those immigrants’ traditions, cultures and religions were preserved. Sometimes, prominent conflicts existed among American colonies. For instance, during the War of Independence, some southern colonies hesitated about the war for the reason that war could be a major obstruction to their oversea trade; however, northern colonies insisted on the war, because they could only gain sufficient political rights by the means of war. There was a long way to go for colonies gaining a sense of a whole nation.
Despite the mixed feelings of either decisiveness, reluctance, or fear in respect to independence among individuals and colonies, an independent nation was legally established after the military victory. Furthermore, the consciousness of a new nation and the patriotic sentiment were growing slowly. Along many other causes, the pamphlet, Common Sense, by Thomas Paine, was certainly one of the most influential forces that contributed to Americans’ sense of independence.
In Common Sense, Paine argued for the necessity for America to gain independence from Britain. He pointed out that monarchy of Britain was directly against the concept that “all men [were]…originally equals” (Paine 413); in a monarchy, kings were distinct from the people as “new species” (Paine 409). In contrast, “in America the law is king” (Paine 434). Independence meant that America was made and ruled by their own laws. Also, Paine argued for the commercial advantages if America got independence from Britain. Britain was deeply involved in European wars, and it was a drawback for Americans keeping relations with it. If America was independent, it could maintain neutrality and free trade with all European countries. Then, America would have a larger international market, better economy and gain greater profits (Paine 423). Since Paine’s arguments were logical, forceful and persuasive, not only many Americans who were hesitating during the war would convert by them, but later generations have been influenced profoundly as well.
The small pamphlet, Common Sense, clearly and loudly instructed common Americans about the belief of independence for the first time. During the widespread popularity of the pamphlet, people read it, circulated it, discussed it, and were deeply impressed by it. Slowly, independence evolved into one of the most important principles of American tradition. While individuals shared the idea of independence, they were sharing the same history, future and belief of the country. This particular identity of Americans developed not only from the physical existence of the nation, but from people’s psychological understanding as well.
While Common Sense made a great influence on a popular level, The Declaration of Independence forged a common ground to all Americans from a theoretical and governmental perspective. The Declaration announced the essential reasons that British rule must be overthrown; consequently, it affirmed the legitimacy of the new government. It also provided a theoretical base to establish a new nation by asserting that the “truth is self-evident” that “all men are created equal”; all men possess the “rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” (The Declaration of Independence A-3). In other words, it is not a certain group of people, but all the people and the colonies that hold certain equal rights. It made a clear break between the new American government and the British monarchy. The Declaration of Independence created the fundamental belief of America.
There are similarities between these two most influential writings, Common Sense and The Declaration of Independence. Paine argues in Common Sense that requiring equality and independence can be easily understood by common sense because they are not something beyond human nature, but are innate rights that people have. Likewise, “self-evident”, a key term in the Declaration, means these human rights are a natural phenomenon that is neither man-made nor need to be proved by man. More importantly, in comparison with Common Sense, The Declaration of Independence is an extremely important government document. Some people might ignore Common Sense, if they stubbornly disagreed with it. However, nobody could deny the impact of the Declaration. Before the Declaration, many people wavered between the concepts of dependence or independence, equality or hierarchy. Afterwards, a theoretical standard was formally set. These concepts of independence and equality became inseparable from the idea of America. Indeed, The Declaration of Independence contributes to the development of American identity.
America is made up of many beliefs that include not only independence and equality, but patriotism and unionism as well. After the War, Americans had a complicated feeling toward independence; someone showed an indifferent attitude because of their ignorance, or someone felt resentment due to their loyalty to Britain. In contrast, citizens with innate patriotism were rare. As Travers comments in Celebrating the Fourth, “such citizens did not occur naturally; they had to be educated, even indoctrinated, to their positions of civic responsibility (Travers 55). Understandably, Independence Day took the main role to educate people on patriotism. Every holiday has its history and significant implications. During Independence Day, people would particularly evoke the history, conflicts, and accomplishments of the nation. This is a mental process that people’s beliefs could be altered subconsciously. Thereafter, the existence of the holiday itself is a permanent reminder. During that particular day, people, regardless of being active participants or merely spectators, are all impacted by an unusual atmosphere. Independence Day is a way to increase the similarities among Americans. It intensifies people’s patriotic sentiment and the belief of the union.
In addition, the annual ceremonies of Independence Day are a cohesive force to bring people together. All the performances and rituals in the day combine together to become a strong and influential force to shape Americans’ collective memories and patriotic sentiment. For example, the morning bells of the Fourth of July ring all around the land and only within America. When people hear them and realize the fact, they are reminded of their patriotism. In fact, there are many elements in Independence Day ceremonies that take the function of education on the concepts of patriotism and belief in the union. “The final celebrations completed the last step of ‘aggregation,’ confirming the parades, speeches, and dinners that made the participants ‘whole’ --- that is, united” (Travers 54).
National heroes are always an important force in forging a common identity in a nation. In America, too, the transformation of the historical Washington into a god-like national hero supplies a unique symbol of patriotism for Americans to share. First of all, Washington was a military leader who made an extraordinary contribution in the War of Independence. A military hero always represents a powerful symbol, both physical and spiritual. The image of Washington particularly satisfied people’s desire for a powerful figure who could not only lead them to establish a new country, but also to protect them from future difficulties. When such an image of Washington was created, it belonged to all Americans, and became a collective memory for them.
Moreover, many external elements contributed to the development of the image of Washington. Among numerous writings about Washington, Mason L. Weems’ Life of Washington, made the legend of Washington reach its climax. The image of Washington in Weems’ book was vivid and inspiring. Weems depicted Washington as a perfect image with full virtues, including “[Washington]’s zeal for unblemished character, his love of truth, and detestation of whatever was false and base” (Weems 19). Although the truth of the material of Weems’ book was questioned, its contribution to the legend of Washington was doubtless. People continuously read it. The influence of the book was significant. As Daniel J. Boorstin comments in Search for Symbols, what “Weems said was what many people wanted to believe” (Boorstin 345). In America, people wanted Washington to be the savior to hold them together and to provide them with an identity. The image of Washington indeed became a factor to forge a common ground to Americans.
While America was already physically established, the American identity, on a theoretical level, was far from being on a parallel scale. People’s beliefs and emotions toward the new nation were extremely complicated and diverse. Nevertheless, a common ground for all Americans, including national identity, patriotic sentiment, and the confidence of independence, had been formed slowly by mixed factors. Thomas Paine’s Common Sense and The Declaration of Independence, principally affirmed the concepts of independence and equality; Independence Day and the heroic image of Washington both served as national symbols to assist people to perceive a collective memory, so they could develop their American identity. Furthermore, on the one hand, the common ground was basically established by those historical factors; on another hand, it was neither fully accomplished, nor unchanged. It is continuously modified by new factors and in turn shapes contemporary generation. From this point of view, the history and the present merged into one.

Met Barry during spring break

2009-04-15T21:03:00.000-07:00

Brian and I met Barry this Tuesday, but the most conversation was between Barry and me. Both of us were so happy to meet each other, so we talked a lot. Barry was nice and polite. He talked with Brian, asking him questions, making him feeling comfortable. I called Candy but she said she could not come because she needed to do acupuncture. It was pity.

Barry told me several interesting things happened in his life lately. First, he recently got contact with his six-grade classmates from Facebook. There are fifty-two years that they have not seen each other. Woo, it is amazing. They should have a huge celebration for the reunion. Second, he and his wife are planning a trip to south Asia, including Vietnam, Thailand, and other a few countries. They travel different places in the world every year, which is really a good way to live. Barry wants to go to China but his wife doesn’t like this idea too much. Thus, Barry then wishes that he can meet some Chinese in Vietnam or Thailand to practice speaking in Chinese. I believe he could because wherever in the world there are many Chinese. Third, Barry and his wife are planning to sell their house in Flushing and to buy an apartment in Long Island City. Long Island City is closer to Manhattan than Flushing. Barry said he and his wife go to Manhattan frequently. They want to live in a place where is convenient to reach Manhattan. Also, if they sell the house, they can have more money to travel around. Brian likes this idea very much. He said they set an example for our future life.

I discussed my recent situation with Barry, too. I have accepted by the graduate school in QC. I am registering course now. When I mentioned I received an award and there will be a party holding in my department, Barry expressed that he’d like to join. It is a surprise; I don’t expect that he wants to come. But I am so glad his attitude. Barry is always so kind. I am proud I have such a good tutor appearing on my award party. I wish he will really come.

Woo, Spring break coming

2009-04-10T16:32:00.001-07:00

I have a single task during this spring break, a 7 page history paper. It is a tough job but I have to finish it during the break in order to leave more time for myself on final exams. Three days of the break have passed, but I have not started my paper yet. I am too nervous to do it. Maybe the real reason is that the pressure is not strong enough.

Yesterday was a perfect sunny day. My husband and I initially planed to study in the school cafeteria, but later we realized that we just could not waste such a fine spring day by staying in door. My husband suggested going to Rockaway Beach. It was about fifteen miles far away from our place. I though it was a good idea.

The scene of sea was very attractive. We took many pictures on the beach. However, our images did not like good, the strong sea wind making our hair in a mess. On the way back home, we found the sign of Jamaica Bay Wildlife Refuge. We stopped and visited it. There are two ponds in the refuge, which were man-made in 1950s, but the water comes from sea tide. We walked around one of the ponds. On the path, we saw a lot of birds on both sides. A kind of bird, which I do know its name, always appears in pair in the grassland. Their images remind us royal lovers, which is amazing. It was a really joyful moment that putting you in the natural world, surrounding by sea, sky, wind, plants, and birds.

An essay of the cultural Anthropology class that I received an A

2009-04-02T18:21:00.000-07:00

The Relation Between Culture and Individual Temperaments

In American society, people are used to the different temperaments between females and males. Women are usually considered emotional and dependent; in contrast, aggressive, independent temperaments belong to men. Many people accept this difference as a natural phenomenon. However, in her book, Sex & Temperament, Margaret Mead studied three primitive societies, Arapesh, Mundugumor, and Tchambuli, in a region of New Guinea. The temperaments of the men and women from the three societies are varied, which contrasts with the idea of fixed temperaments based on sex in American society. Based on her study, Mead argued that individual temperaments are primarily developed by cultural forces rather than biological factors. Her theory not only led people to rethink the development of individual temperaments, but also contributed to the increasing social reforms and feminist movements in American society in the second half of the twentieth century.

Mead’s exhaustive descriptions of the Arapesh’s daily life prove that all the major personality traits of the Arapesh can be attributed to cultural factors. The temperaments of both Arapesh men and women are gentle, unacquisitive, and co-operative. Arapesh babies are cherished by their parents, and are raised up within a warm and loving environment. Babies are always under careful care. “During the first months the child is never far from someone’s arms” (39). It is the first step and also one of the most important stages for the Arapesh to develop their gentle personality. Fathers and mothers give equal attention and care to their children. After a baby is born, the father lies beside the child, and gives the mother advice (32). Fathers’ affection and gentle behaviors not only additionally influence their children’s temperaments, but also are important evidence to prove the similar temperaments between males and females in the society. Moreover, the Arapesh’s belief of “friend and enemy” contributes to their unacquisitive and co-operative temperaments. Because the Arapesh consider family members, relatives, and people in their own and nearby villages as friends, there is comfortable atmosphere for them to do their most daily activities. For this reason, their generous and helpful personality traits are gradually developed.

Although the Mundugumor’s temperaments are completely different from the Arapesh’s, their masculine and aggressive traits are shaped by their particular culture as well. The Mundugumor always live in uncomfortable, harsh and hostile conditions. They distrust others, even the father and son are defined as rivals (170). The Mundugumor children are raised in a cold and unloved environment. Parents dislike children. When a husband finds that his wife is pregnant, he is not pleased (178). Very little babies are kept in a carrying-basket, with little care or body touching. “When a baby cries it is not fed at once” (183). The Mundugumor develop a typically violent temperament that is due to the influence of their parents, relatives, and their society during their early years.

It is important to point out there is no noticeable difference in temperament between males and females in the Mundugumor society as well as the Arapesh society. The Mundugumor men and women are both masculine and aggressive, and the Arapesh men and women are both gentle and co-operative. This fact can be explained by cultural factors, too. For instance, when a baby, either a boy or a girl, is born in a Mundugumor family, he or she is treated harshly. Not only the father, but also the mother does not have a gentle or affectionate attitude towards the baby. The particular culture in this society determines parents’ manner towards raise children. There is only one model of temperaments in this culture. Thus, despite the baby’s sex, he or she gradually develops the same “masculine” and aggressive temperaments.

Unlike the Arapesh and the Mundugumor, but similar to American society, in the Tchambuli, there are different temperaments between opposite sexes. However, the Tchambuli women are dominant and impersonal, and the Tchambuli men are less responsible and emotionally dependent, which are completely opposite from a common American’s point of view. Nevertheless, these temperaments of Tchambuli men and women can be fully explained by their culture and social conditions. The women in Tchambuli are dominant because they possess the economic power. They fish, which provides essential food to all the inhabitants, and they make the mosquito-bags, which is the most important item manufactured in this society (237). In contrast, the men in Tchambuli are good at and work on jobs that are connected to spiritual enjoyment rather than a struggling for live. They are artists that are skilled in many arts (229). They are fond of holding ceremonies. “It cannot be said that in order to initiate young boys the Tchambuli hold a ceremony, but rather that in order to hold a ceremony the Tchambuli initiate young boys.” (229) According to these evidences, the emotional and less responsible temperaments of the Tchambuli men are understood.

The temperaments in the three primitive societies, the Arapesh, the Mundugumor, and the Tchambuli are different not only from each other, but also from American society. Numerous evidences in Mead’s book prove that culture is the most important force in developing individual temperaments. In other words, individual temperaments are not an unchangeable fact, because culture, the soil that temperaments are rooted in, is a man-made phenomenon, which is constantly changing from place to place. Supported by this theory, American women now could argue that it is incorrect to consider that women are innately emotional or dependent creature. When they are unhappy about those assigned temperaments, they have the right to ask change and call for social reform. This theory can be used to justify those social reforms, particularly in feminist movements. Culture and individual temperaments are created by people; thus, they can be altered by people, too.

Mid-term exam season

2009-03-26T18:04:00.001-07:00

Very very busy recently. There are long essays, in-class writings, and mid-term exams. Brian just got his drive permit and he is eager to drive everyday. If he wants to drive, I have to sit next to him in the car in order to legalize his driving. I really lack of time to do it everyday for him. I feel sorry about that, but I have no choice. He has ordered a GPS already despite the fact that he has no car. If he cannot conquer his desire to drive, he runs to my aunt’s house to drive her car a while. He will take the drive test tomorrow. Do you think he can pass in the first attempt, Pink Tear?

I don’t know if I can get As on my courses or not this semester. I am trying, but I am really not sure about the results. My history courses and anthropology course are high level courses and very hard. Some assignments are far beyond my ability, and I am unable to handle them. The one credit library 100 course is done this week. It is easy and I put a very few efforts on it. I expect an A on this course, and also believe an A+ if I am lucky. The gym course is fun in the beginning. However, since the professor is increasing the task, I gradually feel difficult now.

I am looking forward the spring break two weeks late; only until that time, I can actually take a break.

A short paper about Washington

2009-03-18T18:20:00.001-07:00

Washington’s Private Virtue
In the book, The Life of Washington, by Mason L. Weems, the author argues that the private virtues of Washington are the most important sources to shape Washington’s life and contribute to his accomplishment. Among these virtues, Weems particularly illustrates Washington’s courage, a characteristic that was essential in his entire life.

Weems believes that private life is always real life and reveals a person’s honest nature . It is true that people usually feel free to present their opinions and personalities in their private life than in public places. Thus, to observe person’s private life becomes the best place to understand his or her true nature. In the beginning several chapters, Weems provides many anecdotes of young Washington to illustrate his personality, which is consistent with Washington’s whole life. Once, young Washington cut down his father’s precious cherry-tree. Facing his father’s question, Washington conquered his fear and confessed his mistake. In this story, Weems not only shows Washington’s love of truth but his courage as well. Bing brave is an even more important characteristic because without bravely to perform an action, the virtue of love of truth will be in vain. In the last chapter of this book, while Washington was dying, what he expressed was “I am not afraid to die” . Fearing of death is human nature; Weems’ description here portrays a rarely brave feature of Washington. Indeed, in this book, Washington’s characteristic of courage is particularly important for understanding his life.

As a great man rather than a commoner, Washington’s courage was certainly significant in his public life and made huge influence and contribution to the country. Washington had successfully accomplished many military triumphs. Weems comments, “[Washington] abhors war; but, if war be necessary, to this end he bravely encounters it” . Military is always related to fighting, blood, terror, and death; all of them require a person act in bravery. Particularly, during the American Revolutionary War, the Americans had many severe disadvantages in comparison with the British, for example, poor trained of military. As Commander-in-Chief, Washington’s courageous personality became a spiritual power to encourage American officials and the soldiers to win the war.

Weems’ description of Washington’s political career further proves the importance of Washington’s personal courage. When the American Revolutionary War was over, Washington desired to return to his farm to have a peaceful family life. However, when he was officially notified that he was elected President of the United States, he accepted and set out for New York City . Weems points out that Washington did not wish to “come forward again to the cares and dangers of public life” . Despite his awareness of the dangers of the public life, his private virtues, including dutiful, patriotism, and also his courage led him to accept the duty of serving his country.
During his presidency, there were many difficulties in the new established country. The country had to combat many enemies, but it had only 600 regular troops along with eighty millions of dollars in debt. However, as Weems states, “Washington despaired not” . Although Weems does not directly use the words “courage” or “brave” to describe Washington, how can the president confront all these difficulties without the characteristic of courage?

In the book, Weems provides numerous details to portray a fascinating image of George Washington, the first President of the United States of America. Washington possessed many private virtues such as wisdom, love for the truth, patriotism, and dutifulness; however, his characteristic of courage is particularly emphasized by the author. Without courage, Washington could neither fully perform his other virtues nor make such a great contribution to this country in his life.

Ashoka the Great

2009-03-15T18:49:00.001-07:00

I will have the second in-class essay of Indian History class. The first one was about Mahabharata that I got an A. I wish I can do well this time also. The topic of the second essay would be about Emperor Ashoka. People knew him is primarily due to the Edicts of Ashoka. The inscriptions of the Edicts mainly about the conversion of Ashoka to Buddhism; he sponsorship of the spread Buddhism; his public projects for poor and animals.

Another very astonishing thing about Ashoka is that he suddenly changed from an aggressive and brutal killer to a Buddhist who loves peace and advocates non-violence. It said that in Ashoka’s middle age, after the war of Kalinga, Ashoka saw the mass dead bodies on the battlefields, he decided to abandon war and violence and converted to Buddhism.

Ashoka was called the great emperor not only in Maurya Empire or Indian history, but in the world. During his reign, India enjoyed several decades of peace and prosperity. After his death, the empire quickly decayed. I am not sure Ashoka is a great man or not. In my opinion, he is just such s smart guy. He killed as many people as he wanted, and then he claimed himself non-violence and benevolence. It is true that the change in his later life is good, better than none. However, how do you think and forget his killing?

His accomplishment is great, but I think his success is indeed rare. In the history there were many great figures who were either great military men, or were full of moral power. Ashoka is the one combined the two features. People can often represent white or black, but Ashoka can represent the two color by himself alone.

Bloomingdal's

2009-03-03T21:18:00.000-08:00

Tuesday is my toughest day this semester. But after 4:30 pm, I am free. The rest of the day becomes happy hours for me. This week I don’t have too much works, no paper due or any exam. Thus, after my class, Brian and I went to a department store, Bloomingdal’s, on 59^th Street. I have been there around two years ago with Jenny, and I also remember that time I applied a member card although I have never used it again.

We spent around three hours to look around in it. there are nine floors plus two underground levels. It is amazing. In China, even though the biggest department stores, they usually contains five or six floors. Brian likes Bloomingdal’s. He admired it looks like a museum rather than a department store. All the items in the store are expensive. Even though the prices of some items are reduced, we still cannot afford any of them. Anyway, it is not our intention to buy anything. Looking around and enjoy our short trip are good enough for a relax evening. For me, it is definitely true that I don’t want to possess all of the good things that I have seen. Enjoying everything is more important than pursuing the ownership.

After this trip, I realized that I should give myself more free time to go out and explore our city. That is the real and vivid life.

Worry about time

2009-03-01T20:39:00.000-08:00

Busy about my study, and worry about it.

There are weekly readings that I can barely finish every time. Thus, how I can get ride of my anxious if when exams and paper assignments will be due. The crucial problem is always time. If you have enough time, you may do anything. However, we already waste time when we are not under extreme stress.

I like professor Sen who teaches the South Asian history. He is so nice to me. One day after class, I talked a little bit with him. He asked if he pronounced my name correctly. Although I told him his pronunciation is perfectly fine, he was still apologizing to his pronunciation. Language is a real amaze phenomenon. Professor Sen is a PhD, and has been a professor many years, but he still cannot completely conquer the language problem.

This is my second time taking professor Stresster’s class, culture anthropology. She doesn’t like me so much. Class participate is weight 25 points of the final grade in her class. Despite my language problem, I push myself talk in the class every time. However, she often doesn’t like to call me to talk when I rise up my hand. I know I cannot speak well, and my opinion may not contribute to the class too much. But when I still wish her encourage, I am disappointed.

The first step towards history MA

2009-02-12T09:18:00.001-08:00

I finally decided to go on. At least, the process of application is starting.

Two day ago, I visited my CESL professor Kaplan. She gave me a warmest hug and asked my plan; she always shows her care and kind to me. I told her I have two options, history is my true passion; Urban Study is for practical use. She said I definitely should choose history. I told her I was scared by two oral examinations for history program. She said oral exams scare everybody, even though you are a native speaker. Thus, I take the nice professor’s words and start. ( Despite when my husband heard this in the evening and commented, “this is an American opinion.” I guess he means it may not a right way for Chinese. Anyway! Ignore! )

Since I am applying the graduate program immediately after my undergraduate program in the same school, the application fee, $125, is waived. I also don’t have to worry about the transcripts.

There are only three things I need to take care of. First, a three page long application form. It is simple. I have worked on some immigration forms by myself, which are much complicate.

Second, three letters of reference. It is easy too. I have stayed in Queens College four and half years, I have a lot of resources here. There is no any difficulty to pick up three to write the letters for me. I already had two, and the two professors both said they were happy to do this for me. Tomorrow, I will ask a Chinese professor for the last letter. He is even easier person. I even don’t have to ask my favorite professor Sukhu. I preserve him for later use.

Third, a 500-word essay. I did some research from the Internet. There is a lot of information about admission essays, but most of them require payment. Of course I don’t want to pay even a penny. Based on the fragment of hints from the Internet, I made my own idea of the essay and finished the draft yesterday. Yesterday evening, I conducted my friend Zhiyin who had applied the graduate program last year. I am glad that her suggestion is similar with what I thought. I sent my draft to Barry and asked him to help the essay on the grammar. He didn’t give me a response yet, I hope he can do this for me.

Barry's Chinese New Year party

2009-01-31T19:40:00.002-08:00

Today is the day that Barry held his famous Chinese New party at his home this year. I asked Brian taking a day off in order to join it, but Brian didn’t think that reason was not big enough to make he stop working. It is pity that he couldn’t attend this party because that was a really wonderful party.

Barry is an absolutely special person. It is make sense that his wife Renoka is nice too. Consequently, all his friends, the people who came today were nice and friendly. We smiled to each other, patiently listened to each other. There were a lot of foods, most of them were home-made. They were all delicious. I shared the cook experience with the women. In fact, I learned how to make red been rice cake today. I’ll try to do it by myself tomorrow.

One old lady in this party practices calligraphy. She showed us the samples of her calligraphy. I wanted to be her friend for studying with her. However, she is too old to communicate with me normally. Also, I concerned that I probably didn’t have time to meet her. Thus, I gave up the plan.

I am a calligrapher too; at least, I don’t think my calligraphy is worse than this old lady’s. However, because her age, all people admitted her excellent but nobody appreciated mine. I was a little bit depressed. But it is ok, I understood.

I get busy and worry about my courses even in the beginning of the semester. I am studying now. See you later Pink Tear.

I am really hesitating

2009-01-31T19:40:00.001-08:00

The new semester is starting. I have three big courses, history 144, South Asian history, history392 W, history about politics, culture and memory, and Anthropology 201, cultural anthropology. All of them require actively discuss in every class. Class participate weights twenty or twenty five percent of the final grade. Although I really cannot speak well, I am trying. In addition, I believe that if I must speak in every class every time, my speaking will improve during the process. Consequently, class discuss will become less difficult for me.

After a few classes, I gradually found class discuss is not such a bad thing. Unlike exams, in which you must answer all the questions, during the class discuss, if you don’t know, you can just listen to other’s talking and wait the point that you are familiar with. Since the class time is limited, you certainly don’t have talk too much. Probably, speaking two or three times on each class is fine. In fact, if one person speaks too much in the class, it is not fair to his or her classmates. Leaving some time to the classmates, but say something to hit the point, that is my method.

These courses require a lot of essays but few exams. It is difficult but not too bad. Although there are always problems on my English writing, I’d like to spend time to do it and enjoy doing it. Nothing is easy in the world. If you are doing easy things in you whole life, the life must be boring.

I am still hesitating to go to the graduate school or not. It is so difficult to make the decision. If I give up school, probably I am losing the last change to get the academic achievement in my life, but if I do, the difficulties are so huge that I really doubt if I can conquer them. I asked my father, he said that up to me. I presented the disadvantages and advantages of the both sides, he thought I might don’t have to go on any more. My father prefers an easy live; however on this point, I don’t completely agree with his view. I still cannot make the final decision, and I understand nobody can help me but I have to decide my life by myself.

Urban Study

2009-01-20T20:44:00.001-08:00

I have been thinking enrolling the graduate program or not since last year. There are advantages and disadvantages on both sides.

My true passion on academic study is Asian Study. However, in the lower tuition CUNY colleges, there is not graduate program in Asian Study. Obviously, it is unaffordable for me to go to NYC or Columbia University in New York City. Thus, if I go to a CUNY college, for example, Queens College, the program must not the most interesting one for me. The second option is Anthropology, which is my favorite subject too. However, Anthropology always deals with too much difficult vocabulary than I doubt I can overcome it. Last semester, I just could not open my mouth in the class. The only exception was when we discussed a Chinese site, Zhoukoudian, our professor asked me the proper pronunciation.

Right now, I am interested in Urban Study because I believe it will help me to apply a civil job in the future. Also, in my opinion, Urban Study maybe easier than Anthropology due to its common use. An event in last year also added me confidence to study this subject; I met a Chinese girl who got her MA in Urban Study but I found her England was really limited. If she could make it, I would.

Also, if I decide to go to graduate school, I can apply financial aid that provides me the benefit of tuition waive and job opportunity. The amount of money will be enough to my daily expense.
Last, if I go on college study, my English must improve more than I self-study at home. The situation that I am studying at home this winter is a good example to prove the so-call self-study is extremely inefficient.

On the other hand, if I end my college career after I gain my BA this spring, there are some advantages too.

First, I will no longer suffer from the difficult experience of former study. I love study but I have never denied it is a severe task. Without worrying about school assignments and tests, I can read and write anything for enjoyment only. I can have more hours to practice calligraphy. As a result, my dream of being a calligrapher will be closer.

Second, I can go to find a full time job and contribute more to my family finance. My father mentioned several times that he expected the improvement of our financial situation and then he could get support from us.

I asked adverse from my husband this evening. He urged me going on study. Oh, I still have a few days to make the final decision.

Enzo corrected my writing!

2009-01-13T12:42:00.000-08:00

Although I have been in America more than seven years, I don’t have many American friends. I know it must a weakness but I really feel easier to contact with people who speak the same language with me. Nevertheless, I have never give up to overcome my weakness. I have been trying to make more American friends and to understand different cultures as more as possible.

In fact, the few of my American friends treat me very nice. My tutor Barry is the one whom I contact with more often than others. Barry’s kindness and understanding encourage me to be more open to the new world. When we talk, he corrects us and shows us a better expression. Last Wednesday, when we went a bakery, Barry insisted to buy coffee for Brian and me. We accepted. I told him I wanted a milk tea without sugar. Barry said he wanted a coffee with more sugar. Later when we sat down, Barry told Brian that the correct expression should be a cup of coffee with a lot of sugar but not more sugar. We appreciated his explanation because if Barry was not such a kind person, he would not say anything when he heard our mistake.

Julia was my ex-coworker in Media Centre. She is modern and claimed her as a party girl. We don’t contact with each other very often but our friendship is sweet. Last month, she invited us coming to her house at the Christmas Eve. Thus, we got the opportunity to attend an interesting Spanish style Christmas.

Brian and I hang out with Enzo during this winter too. Last Saturday we attended an event in the public library that is about culture behavior around the world. The real concern of it the struggle of new immigrants in America. Although we didn’t have more time to talk after the event, we shared emails to discuss our opinions about the topic. I like to write emails; it is a very useful way to practice English writing. Especially, emails from my American friends provide me a sample of good writing. I always read them carefully, and I often can find out something helpful for my own writing.

This time Enzo made some corrections to my email. He was so nice. I don’t inquire but it is just what I need the most. There are my writing and his corrections below.

Thank you very much for explaining your opinion to me. I think, at least, if we understand people who from different culture more, we will have enthusiasm and more friendly attitude rather than indifference toward each other; thus, we are creating a more comfortable environment to all of us.

I’d like to attend to the piano concert this Saturday. Do you know if it is still in the same location? I doubt Brian may not come. He got a new job and he is going to work since this Thursday. He doesn’t know his schedule yet. If he can get off on Saturday, I’ll ask him to come to join us. But I guess Serena probably have free time this Saturday afternoon. I’ll ask her, and then let you know.

Thank you very much for explaining your opinion to me. I think, at least, if we understand people who from different cultures more, we will have enthusiasm and a more friendly attitude rather than indifference toward each other; thus, we are creating a more comfortable environment for all of us.

I’d like to attend to the piano concert this Saturday. Do you know if it is still in the same location? I doubt Brian will come. He got a new job and he is going to work starting this Thursday. He doesn’t know his schedule yet. If he can get off on Saturday, I’ll ask him to join us. I guess Serena probably has free time this Saturday afternoon. I’ll ask her, and then let you know.

a plenty of time to meet friends!

2009-01-07T18:28:00.000-08:00

Although I was dissatisfied by the A- on Anthr 260, I am surprised and overjoyed by being given an A+ on EnSic 111. In the previous time, I always get one or more A+ each semester, but until the time I found the grade of EnSic 111, I had already completely lost hope to keep this record. I think the professors of EnSic 111 must curve our grade because based points I counted by myself, even plus my extra paper, my grade would be between A and A-. Another reason also makes me believe the curve. Although I did not contact with too many people in this class, I knew many of them didn’t do well on exams. For three of the five exams, the average score is barely above 60. The biggest portion is the scores between 50 to 60.

I received an A on Sukhu’s class again. Always A, no A+. I don’t want to complain and understand that the every professor has his or her own standard of A and A+. In Sukhu’s class, we are students and we are imperfect, but A+ probably means perfection to him.

This morning, it was heavy rain, but I had to get up early to do jury duty in a Queen court on Queens Boulevard. We waited in the lobby more than two hours. while a representative talked with me, I told her I wondered I might not have enough English. She let me go and said I would be called three years late.

This afternoon, Brian and I went to the Flushing library to meet Barry. We had tea in a Chinese bakery. Barry insisted to pay for us and we accepted. He introduced an Indian movie to us called “Slumdog Millionaire”. Because it is a new revealed movie, we cannot for it for the Internet. If we want to watch it free, we have to wait a while. Barry asked me to tell him my response of this movie. I promised that I would write an article about it. I asked Brian to write something as response too.

Enzo told me there would be an even this Saturday in the Flushing library. The topic is about cultural behavior around the world. This topic sounds very interesting. Thus, I told him I’d like to go with him to join the even. Enzo also said he would host a party named fireside socials at his home soon. My friends, Emma, Yujun, and Antony, all will come. I am looking forward to the party.

Lately, I have hanged out with my American friends more often than before. Brian and I take advantage of the opportunity to improve our English. When I share emails with them, I can always learn new words and usages from them. Unlike some young people, Enzo’s English in his email is careful and beautiful. There is a sample in below.

Hi Cha (Re: my Queens College experience)
I enjoyed our recent gatherings very much (i.e.: Emma’s place, lunches at restaurants, etc) and thought I should contribute something to our friendship circle: fireside socials to promote enjoyment of friendship, diversity of food and culture, and an enhanced knowledge of humanity that our unique group of people can offer each other.
The Role of Fire
Fireplaces and barbeque fires have practical uses and especially a certain magic that can help people feel a unique type of comfort, camaraderie, and reassurance. The role of fire and food have always had important roles in the development of humanity; and if combined with a progressive group of people with a desire for knowledge and mutual understanding; could enhance the quality of life so much that I feel compelled to invite you all to share this joy.
I would like to host some frequent fireside socials to expand the cultural/ social awareness and happiness that we have shared.
Sincerely in friendship;
Enzo

Bought a coat for my mother

2009-01-05T11:27:00.000-08:00

I got an A on the course of American history. It is a good grade although I had expected an A+ on it after I took the final exam and did the extra paper. Because of it, my good feeling on the rest of my courses is fading. In the pass semesters, I always got one or more A+ every semester. It is pity that the record will be broken this time.

I am preparing the courses of next semester today. I have had an Anthropology course about South Asian people a year ago. Yesterday, I delightedly found a book that left from that course which is exactly what I need for the South Asian history I am going to study next semester. Thus, I will save more than thirty dollars. My husband is especially happy about this news.

I planed to work a month during the winter break; however, one third time passed and I am still idle. I tend to believe that there is little chance that I can find a job in this winter. Everybody is talking about the difficult economy. A lot of my friends and relatives from China also ask how about the economy in the US. Now, I may tell them I indeed experienced the difficulty of the economy personally.

I went Woodbury with Ting last Friday. We pay thirty-five dollars per person for the transportation fee. This transportation cost becomes a motivation to stimulate everyone to buy more in order to minimize the extra cost. I bought everything I planed to buy. Particularly, I bought a Benetton coat for my mother. Ting likes the clothes of this company very much, and I have been influenced by her.

My mother had mentioned her plan to buy a coat this winter when we talked on phone. Because even a normal coat will cost more 2000 RMB in China, I believe that even though combining the cost of the coat itself and the shipping fee, buying a coat in the US is still a better deal. I didn’t tell her my plan before I did it for the concern that she might refuse to take it. But I called her after I shipped it.

an A- on Anthr 260, I'm disappointed

2008-12-30T16:48:00.001-08:00

I received an A- on Anthr 260 and am disappointed by it. I have tried very hard on this course, finishing all requirements and doing the extra credit assignment. Although in the beginning of the semester, I dare not expect an A-, after time went on, I believed I would do well. Anyway, it is over. I also expect an A on Environment 111, but now I am starting to doubt.

After the last exam finished, I spent several days to read Chinese novels. Those novels are really interesting and fun. I enjoyed them every much. However, I cannot spend too much time on it because there are many things I have to do. It is also the good time for me practicing calligraphy. I usually have no time to do this during the study season. This week, I am posting my calligraphy on a website and enjoying reading commons from strangers. This is the address, www.freehead.com. I use both brush and pen to write. Some people are kind that they offer frank commons, although many people praise their friends only.

I want to find a job this winter to help our family expense. Because winter break is merely one month, it makes me even more difficult to find a right job. I call a few friends who are my ex-coworkers in Chinese supermarket. The job in Chinese supermarket is tough; particularly during the holiday seasons, not only Christmas and New York, but also Chinese New York at the end of the coming January. The pay barely meets the minimum salary of New York State, $7.15 per/hour. Nevertheless, having a job and earning money back home are essential, regardless of how tough the conditions are.

I am done this semester

2008-12-23T20:46:00.001-08:00

I finished all my exams today. The last one was on today 11 to 1. I got up at 5 am to study it. I thought it must be difficult to get up so early in the morning and keep mind clear; thus, yesterday night I planed to make a cup of strong tea to deal with this problem. However, I had no difficulty at all to get up in the morning. I think the reason is I was too nervous about the exam to sleep. After the exam, I felt I wanted to do nothing but relax.

I did very well on the exam of the American history. I increase my desire and except an A+ on this course now. However, I didn’t do well on the final exam of Anthr 260 on this Monday. There were so many extremely difficult vocabularies that I was unable to figure out which would be required to write on the exam. I don’t know if I will get an A or A- on it.

In the afternoon I met my best friend Candy, she gave me a dark green leather bag as the Christmas present. She forgot my birthday last month and she felt so bad about that. I believe after giving this present to me, she will feel much better. Candy was a very generous woman, and she always treats friends very nice.

Almost done!

2008-12-19T14:18:00.000-08:00

I have two more final exams on next Monday and Tuesday. They are American history and Biological Anthropology. Both of them are difficult and require a lot of efforts. The time is extremely limited. To make things worse, tomorrow I have to go to a Chinese school to meet a teacher in the morning and then work in the library five hours until 4 o’clock in the afternoon. I am looking forward the day that all the exams end. So I will have free time to work on my blogs.

Clip-clop

2008-12-09T13:16:00.000-08:00

My husband Brian's first poem in English, a lovely poem. (Note, I have made a few grammatical corretion on it despite the fact that Brian disagrees with me by claiming poem needs no grammar. )

Clip-clop
My mother is coming.
Let me stop playing and hurrying up to go to bed.

Clip-clop
Our teacher is coming.
Let’s return back to our seats and keep in quiet.

Clip-clop
Beautiful girls are coming.
I’d like to talk with them and be friend with them.

Clip-clop
My cute granddaughter is coming.
Let me stop reading and playing with her.

Visted the Exhibit of Climate Change

2008-11-29T21:42:00.000-08:00

Today I went to American Museum of Natural History. To gain the extra credits in the EnSci 111 course, I paid eighteen dollars and visited the exhibit, “Climate Change”. The exhibit is good, although I don’t think it is especially excellent. The most things in the exhibit I have already learned from my class. Perhaps, the museum deliberately made the exhibit simple and easy for educating common visitors who lack the background of environment science.

In the evening, we had a Thanksgiving party in my aunt’s house. My aunt is so traditional. She prepared many foods for her several friends. Before the guests came, she kept asking me many times if the foods were enough to serve. After those friends arrived to the house, she told them, “Sorry, I am cooking only a little bit food for you.” I just don’t understand how she could say that words when she was in front of the foods full of the table. My husband explains my confusion. He says I should not take my aunt’s words literally; that is merely a Chinese customs.

Yesterday I finished the second paper for history 103. Today I didn’t study, but tomorrow I will write the article review of Anthr 260 and read textbooks. We have only two more weeks for class and one week for examination, and then this semester is over. I expect all As on all my courses but I am not sure about that.

First time got the highest score in a class

2008-11-26T19:23:00.001-08:00

I got 85 out of 90 on the second exam of Anthr 260. Especially, it is the highest score in my class. I am overjoyed by the result. I am often so quiet in the class for two reasons. One, class discuss is not required nor reflects on the final grade; in other words, I don’t have to force myself talking in class. Second, I still don’t have full confidence on my English speaking. I avoid talking in front of a lot of people.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I will go to shopping with Yujun in Queens Center mall. After shopping, we will cook a big Thanksgiving dinner in my home. there are only three chairs in my small kitchen plus dining room; so the maximum people my home can contain is three. However, I have plenty of dishes and we are planning to cook shrimps, beef, chicken, vegetable, and buy a fruit cake as after meal dessert. Even though thinking about that, I feel happy immediately. The only thing I am worrying is how we three people can eat all of the food.

During the big holiday I am missing my friends whom we cannot celebrate together. Emi told me she was going to find a part-time job in her last email. I don’t know how the things going on around her. I really wish a wonderful thanksgiving to her. She is not only so thoughtful and kind, but also very talent and has a good taste of art. She deserves to have happiness.

This time, we reached Willow Lake

2008-11-25T14:50:00.000-08:00

This Sunday, we had the second try to explore Willow Lake in our neighborhood. Carefully conducting the map, we successfully reached the lake after half hour walking. We spent one and half hours walking along the path around the lake. Seem as there was thin ice on the surface of the lake. I wanted to throw a stone into the lake to test how thick the ice was, but there were even no stones on the bank of the lake. That day was so cold; I believed it was below 30 F. we didn’t get warm even though we continuously walked a couple hours. At the end of our march, the only thing I wanted was to drink a hot milk tea at home.

Yesterday I took the second exam of Anthr 260. I didn’t do very well and was bothered by this class. It is unreasonable that I couldn’t do well on it. Professor Stinson of this class is extremely nice and excellent. The material was not too heavy. Moreover, since last week I was not too busy, I indeed put much time to study on it. I just don’t understand why the result is not what I have expected. Didn’t I still study hard enough? I have to think about that, and then I can better deal with the last exam of this class.

The most part of EnSci 111 is done. I estimated my expected score around 88-90. Under such a situation, doing the extra credit paper becomes very important to me. If I receive the extra credits, my grade may rise to A; if I don’t do that, my grade may drop to B+. There is a big difference between A and B+, and there is an opportunity that I can do something to improve it.

The assignment of the extra credits is to visit an exhibition at the American Museum of Natural History. Our professor told us the admission was free, but when I came here two weeks ago, I found an 18-dollar admission was required. I didn’t want to pay that because the professor said that would be free. I paid one dollar to visit the museum and then went back home. For gaining the extra credit, students not only have to write a paper, but must attach the receipt with the paper to prove your visit. I have been hesitating that I might attach the general museum with my paper since the day I visited the museum. How to write the paper is no a problem that I can write it based on the information from the museum website. I assumed that they may not check very carefully. However, I really do know if it is a good that would benefit me, or a completely foolish idea that would hurt my grade.

I rarely cheat in my life. The reason is not because I am an honest person, but merely because I am indeed a coward. I finally made my decision yesterday that I would go to the museum again and visit the exhibition. I will attach a real ticket on my paper to gain the extra credits. Before that, I went the department this noon to see if there was any solution for this problem. To my surprise, the professor told me that if students visited the exhibition and handed in their tickets, the department would pay money back to us. Woo, I have never expected that. Thus, all my concerns are gone. I will go to the museum again during Thanksgiving, enjoying the life.

Met Barry on Wednesday

2008-11-22T19:51:00.000-08:00

This Wednesday Brian and I went to Flushing to meet our tutor Barry. Brian said he wanted to treat Barry a cup of coffee in Starbucks rather than in a Chinese bakery. To my understanding, Chinese often choose to treat a friend in an expensive place instead of a cheap one to show respect. However, when I told this to Barry, Barry interpreted it in another way. He said it was understandable that a new coming person who prefers An American style place than a Chinese one.

We had a really wonderful time together. Barry is such a nice and understanding person. Whatever problems I have had in my live, I like to ask advice from him; seem as conduct my father or an old uncle. My feeling towards him is so nature and so close, despite I don’t see him frequently. I am glad that Barry is my friend. Sometimes I feel good to leave my hometown and live in a foreign country merely because that I have had a bigger opportunity to meet those wonderful people.

I become more and more enjoy English writing. Except sometimes I am short of time to do that, there is no any negative about it. I told Barry that I have published an article on a Chinese newspaper in the beginning of this year. He was interested about that and asked me sending it to him. He said he would ask his Chinese students to explain my article to him. I wish his students have enough English ability to do that. Later, I think I can translate the article in English for practice, and also it is fun. If I really do that, I will show it off to Barry.

I give up the study of the fifth section of the EnSci 111, and this morning I even did not go to the class. I really dislike the Chinese professor. In some aspects, she is in common with my cousin. They both are ambitious, brilliant, and very capable, but they both are unfriendly, don’t want to tolerate and understand others. I wonder how their personalities have been developed due to their similar background.

My history paper

2008-11-20T13:14:00.001-08:00

This is a paper that i have received an A.

An Argument about Independence between Leonard and Paine

For people who live in the present, the independence of the U.S. probably is like a natural phenomenon and beyond being questioned. However, throughout the history of America, the belief in independence was developing gradually with a lot of struggles. The two documents, the letter, To the Inhabitants of the Province of Massachusetts-Bay, 1774-1775, by Daniel Leonard, and the pamphlet, Common Sense, by Thomas Paine, represent two opposite opinions of independence during the American Revolutionary era. Due to their different political and philosophical backgrounds and economic interests, Leonard strongly attacked the idea of independence, while Paine strongly supported it.

Leonard was one of the wealthiest lawyers in Massachusetts[1]. As a beneficiary of the current social and political system, he valued the assistance from Britain and emphasized monarchy and the dependence on the British king. From Leonard’ point of view, there was nothing wrong with monarchy. He judged monarchy worked efficiently in Britain; Britain not only created North American colonies, but also enormously supported North American colonies in their development. He described Britain as a “nursing mother”, and reminded everybody to think about how Britain purchased the land for the colonies and protected the colonies from European military attacks.[2] Leonard valued what Britain had done to such a high degree; specifically, he believed that it was impossible to have the development of the colony without the dependence on Britain.

Besides thinking of the benefits from the dependence on Britain, Leonard believed that independence was harmful and could never achieve success. Leonard had a pretty negative view of American colonists who were in favor of independence. He not only described them by using words like “the foulest, subtlest and most venomous,” but also claimed that the revolutionaries “[were] not known in law” and did not share of power[3]. Could independence be a good thing or bring benefits if people who operate it were so evil? Moreover, Leonard pointed out that whenever war is proclaimed, trade, supply, and coast cities would be cut off; thus, colonists would have to face serious economic loss. In addition, although it seemed that many people supported independence, since their property was attached to British government, they would fight under the banners of loyalty if war broke.[4]

In contrast, Paine completely denied the concept of monarchy; he advocated equality among human beings and the independence of the North American colonies on an ideological level. Paine claimed that mankind is originally equal[5]. Based on this concept, there is no essential difference between the king and the subjects. Monarchy is not natural, but artificial. Because men are equal, it is not necessary that people depend on a king above. Consequently, the independence in the North American colonies should be regarded as a natural development. Most importantly, Paine asserted that in America the law is king. This idea contrasts to the concept that the king is law in absolute governments[6].

Paine also analyzed the advantages of American independence from a practical perspective. Unlike Leonard, Paine considered that Britain providing assistance and protection to the colonies was for its own sake rather than the colonies’. Also, Paine thought it was ridiculous to consider Britain to be a kind mother since the primary motivation for most of the British who immigrated to the new continent was that they were dissatisfied with the religious and financial situations in their mother country. In fact, Paine believed that “America would have flourished as much more had no European power had any thing to do with her.”[7] In addition, Paine warned about some of the disadvantages of dependence on Britain. For example, if the North American colonies depended on Britain, they would tend to be involved in European wars and would have a narrower trade market in Europe.[8]

The two documents make completely opposite points. Leonard stressed the benefits of dependence on Britain and attacked the idea of independence. In contrast, Paine advocated equality and independence. Today, independence has been proved by history and has become an obvious fact. While almost all the people in our generation agree with Paine’s argument, Leonard’s argument is still convincing because we can understand his political and economic contexts and how they are related to his argument. His documents reveal a realistic situation: during the American Revolution, independence was not supported by all the people; some people attacked it when it could not meet their immediately or long-term interests.

[1] Leonard, Daniel. Reading the American Past. Ed Michael P. Johnson. (Boston: Bedfor/St. Martin’s, 2007), 110.
[2] Leonard, P113.
[3] Leonard, P113.
[4] Leonard, P113.
[5] Paine, Thomas. Reading the American Past. Ed Michael P. Johnson. (Boston: Bedfor/St. Martin’s, 2007), 123.
[6] Paine, P126.
[7] Paine, P124.
[8] Paine, P124.

We have not reached Willow Lake

2008-11-16T21:50:00.000-08:00

I was busy a few weeks ago during the mid-term season, but after that, my schedule becomes less intensive. This weekend, I only have to prepare for the second exam of anthropology that will take place two week late.

For Environment Science 111, the last professor is not kind and smart. Perhaps she is intelligent because she is young but has received a doctor degree. However, I judge she is not smart because she is either not nice to her students or lack the experience to deal with people.

In the beginning of her first class, she said that she encouraged students who sat in the back moved to the front seats. Some students did, but some remained on their seats. The professor went on to say that she would not start unless all seats in the front were full. The situation turned to be discord. Unexpectedly, she even ran to the back to force students to move. I though what she did made no sense. Even though her suggestion was originally acceptable, but if other did not like it, why she thought she had the authority to force the students to do anything that they did not want.

I assume that her exam would be difficult because of the difficulty of the professor herself. How can I expect anything nice from her? She gave us a pop-quiz on the most unexpected time. Other professors give pop-quizzes too, but many of them give them on a reasonable time. Fortunately, I have finished four exams with good grades and don’t have to take the last one. The final grade is count four out of five exams. I may go to the class to listen to the lectures, but I really don’t need to spend six extra hours for each class as she suggested. It is just cool that I can go to class, watch her, but pay no attention to her.

Thus, in the rest of the semester, I only need to study for two classes, American history and biological anthropology. I do well on the two classes so far. I wish I can have good final grades. For the Chinese class, leaving several hours before final exam is enough to get an A.

Studying can be a bitter experience despite my affection on it. When I study at home, sometimes I just expect the time for cook. Cook is much more relax and enjoyable than study. I rarely practice calligraphy recently. I wish I can have regular time to practice it after I graduate and get a real job.

Brian and I planed to walk to the Willow Lake today, a small lake nearby my home. I checked googlemap to get the direction. I didn’t print out the map because I believed that it was easy to reach it. However, after walking several blocks, we got lost. We gave up our plan, but just wondering randomly hours and then went back home.