Misunderstand

I lost another blog of mine, and I still don't understant why. After two months vacation, I came back U.S. My regular blog is going well, but the other one which I wrote about my love cannot be open now. When I try to type the address, there is a empty page only. The system even doesn't tell me that the address can't be found. I guess that somebody deleted my blog. Maybe they dislike what I published.
I have a extreme pressure from my current college courses. In the Anthropology class, we will study about the language in a academic degree. In face, since I cannot speak English well, I have a fear about language. How about if the teacher require us speak in the class very often. I want change a class, but problems are still exist. first, I aready brought the textbooks of this course. I may return these book to the book store or sell on ebuy if I drop it, but a part of money must lose; second, I don't have too much choice in the rest avaible course. In fact, if there are many easy and interesting classes, I didn't take this one. Thus, I have to face the difficult and totally strange course. I stay in my room all the weekend and use all the time for reading. I get the pain of eyes. I give myself forty-five minutes a day to paly computer games. I rarely contact with friends becuase I afraid that they may ask me go out to eat or movies. I certainly don't have the leisure time to do that until end of this semester. The process of studying English is painful, but I enjoy it somehow. I deeply understand that many people are jealous of me for the chance to go to college.