B+

Rossabi gave me an A, I enjoy that. However, the female professor gave me a B+, and I was greatly disappointed by this grade. It is not because B+ was a bad grade, but I felt that it did not suit to the so much hard work I had done for this course. For the whole semester, I put a little time and energy on Rossabi’s class, but spend so much time to work on this course of American women’s history. I attended every class and pushed myself to do class participation as much as I could. When I found I didn’t get A on a short paper, I immediately went to see the professor, discussing the weak parts of my writing and paid more attention on those parts in my rest paper assignments. I composed my papers slowly and carefully, revised them again and again. I went to visit my writing tutor regularly in college writing center, and I sought help from private tutors too. However, I can do nothing with the grade but accept it. I don’t feel unhappy or unfair; since I have met so many nice and understanding professors, I deserve to meet a few who don’t appreciate me or my style. That is pretty fair.

2011 fall is over

My last class of the fall 2011 semester was over in two days ago. I did not feel much release because the pressure was not big during this semester. After classes, I am continuing my normal work. Only the books I am reading during the work time changed from history books to English grammar books. I have no idea what grades I will be given. I feel the female professor of the American history course is not easy. If it is good, I may get an A-, if it is bad, I may get a B or B+. I also wish Professor Rossabi gives me an A. Who knows.

Listen to WNYC

During lunch break I like to have a walk around school track field. It usually takes half hour or forty minutes. Sometimes I listen to radio, solely at channel WNYC. I gradually can understand more clearly of those news reports and talking programs. Yesterday I heard a piece of news about international market rice that was interesting. The president of an Asian country in a radio speech urged the people to believe in the resources and the price of rice. Immediately after his speech, the price of rice increased dramatically in this country. Japan had stored a large amount of rice, but the U.S. forbidden it to export it to international market. Later, after negotiation, the U.S. allowed Japan to export. Only this agreement was enough, the price of rice in international market dropped quickly. After a few days, the price decreased to a half, while Japan has not exported any rice yet.

Barry's Wang poem

Now the Mountains see no people,
but echoes of human voices are heard.
Bright light returns and enters the deep forest,
to set again the dark green moss.

the first speeding ticket

I got a speeding ticket last Sunday when I drove at the town Highland Falls for visiting West Point Military Academy. Henry discussed this case with me, and we finally decided that we don’t plea guilt, so we have to go to court a few weeks late. I have never been to a court for traffic ticket although it is very common in America. We conduct as many people as we can, the most "valuable" tips they gave us is don’t admit the over speeding. I doubt it is not moral, but nobody concerns about this, and they definitely will laugh at me if I openly question this. This is life.

Dogs' rights

When I returned to my hometown this summer, I found a thing that the Americans could never imagine and could definitely think it is too cruel. In this town, walking dogs in public space is restricted in anytime. Isn’t it too cruel? Even though I was a resident here twenty years ago, it is hard for me to accept it now. However, since the indigenous people have no real experience of the dog rights on another side of the earth, they could never understand how disgusting the Americans would feel. For someone who has dogs as pets, they of course dislike this official regulation, but the common reaction of the masses is that even though it might be unfair, but since there are so many unfair things happened in this society, they would not be specially enraged by how dogs’ life are.

Barry's Party

I came to Barry’s Chinese New Year party today. Barry composed a set of spring couplets that express his close feeling and good wishes to new immigrants. I admire his progress in Chinese study. I did one too and read out it in the party. In my spring couplets, I express all students’ gratitude to teacher Barry for his dedication in English teaching and our joy to celebrate Chinese New Year together.

The Last Day of 2010

This is the evening of the last day of 2010. A week ago, a severe snowstorm struck this city. Until today, there is still a lot of snow on the road, bad traffic, and no place to go. I did not do anything special because I cannot. Ordinary life is not unpleasant, it is told that this is just life should be. A three or four year old child may be excited by a New Year, but there are already many new years coming and going in my life. The young age passion or anxiety towards new year is fading. Life becomes more and more wordless.

I see friends standing on the other side of the Internet. In the theory, communication is so easy that requests merely a light click. However, in our real life, it is much complex. The barriers, things you may not see, describe, but definitely feel, between our hearts are too huge to break down. I love my friends thus I never doubt their love to me. I am willing to spend some time with them, but seem as they don’t show me a welcome sign, maybe either is I. Many married women feel unnecessary to have friends and gradually narrow their social circle until zero. When we talk about it, we laugh at the stupidity of those people, but how do you know you may one of them one day.

One A

I received an A from Prof. Sen for the seminar course. It is not a surprise. However, the grade from Prof. Rossabi has not yet appeared in my online account. It is bothered me because this course was not a class but only myself, it is possible that my grade would be ignored. I emailed Prof Rossabi for remaining, although on other hand I don’t really believe he would forget it. Prof Rossabi is such a careful and responsible person. Indeed, he wrote that he did submit my grade but since a new student online system is adapted in the semester in our school, some problems occur. It is reasonable. He said he would check it in history department next week.

Form my point of view, since this problem is due to the school rather than students, I think I may request him to email me my grade. But Prof. Rossabi refused, claiming that is against college regulations. I have to wait to next week to know my grade, but that is not so bad, as long as me and my grade has not been totally forgotten.

I’m waiting for two As.

Prof. Sen’s class was well down yesterday. I prepared class discussion for a classmate’s paper and also talked two more times for other small issues. I said good-bye and thanks to Prof Sen. He wishes to see me at next fall semester. If he offers interesting classes, I definitely will take his classes again.

I came to Rossabi’s class this morning and talked with him in his office. He only asked me to double check grammar, and all other things are fine. He even does not require me to resubmit this paper for a grade for this course. Ok, I’ll send the first chapter to Prof. Sen some day next week, and all of my job is done.

I’m waiting for two As.

Last study week

The paper has been completed at two weeks ago. Only a few little things need to be worried. Tonight we’ll have the last class of prof. Sen. In tonight’s class, we are required to do peer critiques of classmates’ papers. Thus, this afternoon I have to spend some time to read some classmates’ papers. The topics are varying, especially some are very unfamiliar to me, which makes me hard to grasp their main ideas. Styles are various too. Some students want to show a high academic writing standard by using large and abstract words, but in fact make their papers extremely difficult to understand. I like one classmate’s writing; the main idea and support details are strong and the writing is clear. He is a high school teacher, and I believe his writing skill is excellent. My paper has already been discussed in last week. Only one person made some comments. I knew my topic must be alien for the most American students, so I am not disappointed by lacking of responses.

Tomorrow I’ll come in to see Prof. Rossabi. It is most likely that he’ll not suggest me to do any major change. If in this case, my job will be basically down. I am planning to do one more time proofreading, fix some careless grammatical mistakes, and formally submit it to him. That’s all.

I have already started to read Chinese fictions since last week. It’s very hard to find out excellent ones despite there are myriad writers and published books. I enjoy seeing profound thoughts within interesting stories and real lives. However, many writers are unable to achieve this level. In their books, there are full of boring ideas and words as moral teaching. I don’t know if any one accept this kind of writing, but I definitely reject it. I also watch TV series from the Internet and practice calligraphy when I don’t read fictions. The winter is coming. So as a short period of relax life of mine.

Good, but not great

I have already finished 17 pages of the second chapter today. In other words, I need only around 5 pages for the last part, Huichang suppression and a 1-2 page conclusion, and then my whole job is down. I just cannot image how happy that would be when I have no paper assignment any more. I’ll have a relax winter.

Dr. Rossabi emailed to me saying that I have done a good job in style. My content is always good, and grammar has been improved. I know I am good, yet not great. I expect the day when my English writing becomes grammar-error free. I don’t know if I can really have such a day or not, but my husband gave me an unhesitant positive answer. How nice a husband is!

Papers and tutors

I finished the first chapter and 11 pages of the second chapter. That means I am basically keeping up with my plan. If there is no anything accident, I’ll finish the second chapter by end of this month. Then in December, I’ll have adequate time to revise them.

I really don’t like the tutor whom I am assigned in the college Writing Centre. She has completely no idea about my subject, and I can tell she is indifferent in my paper at all. It is understandable and I don’t blame her. I just feel I am unlucky. Several times I thought that I might stop to go, but I again and again tell myself that a few is better than none. So, I am keeping the tutoring appointment. The tutor I met in last two semesters was not very good either, but compared to this one, he was much better. I start to miss him.

I have to solely rely on Barry to correct my paper. Even though he is always pleasure to help me, I really don’t want to bother him too much. Professor Rossabi said he would correct my paper in the end of this semester, but I doubt if he has the time to do this for me.

My thesis statement has been approved

My thesis statement was approved by both of my professors. It is very good because I have to wait their approval then can move to the next steps.
I concerned that the primary sources I have is too few. In CUNY libraries, there are very few primary sources about Chinese history. Even though they provided a very nice service, interlibrary loan, the limitation is still large. I consulted this problem to Rossabi. He said in New York City, the only place where I can find the sufficient primary sources is Columbia Universal, but he also understands that I cannot access that. Nevertheless, Rossabi thinks that for the stage to do a MA thesis, it is not necessary to refer too many primary sources. In other words, what I have is enough? It is a surprise. For me, the MA thesis is a so serious and toughest project that I have to pay my hundred percent time and energy to accomplish. However, at least I understand now that a MA thesis is definite nothing from those big professors’ point of view.

Writing the introduction of my thesis

When I start to write the introduction part of my thesis, I immediately realize I am far from good, and also the result will be far from good too. Only good thing is that the process of doing this project makes me better.

Unexpectedly, I have four students studying Chinese with me now. Amy is a girl who originally came from Taiwan but grew up in America. She had already earned her MA in education major from Columbia University two years ago. Right now she is new teacher in an elementary school in NYC. Amy speaks fluent mandarin, and she studies with me only for the goal to achieve a professional writing. She has to pass a test in order to gain a certificate of bilingual teacher next month. Thus, our tutoring concentrates on the possible topics in the test. I enjoy tutoring Amy because it is a relative higher level of Chinese study. I think I am better at this than teaching people very basic pinyin or words.

Jeffery is an American young man who studied with me since today. He had gone to Chinese three years ago and been an English teacher in Shenzhen for a few weeks. His Chinese is fairly ok. He wants a tutor because he doesn’t want to forget the Chinese he already had while he lives in America. He studied finance in Boston University and wants to do business in Chinese in the future rather than being an ESL teacher. Only after I talked with him a few minutes, he asked me if I came from somewhere in south China. Ah, He recognized my accent. I had no choice but to confess I am a Sichuan people. I wish he would not run away just after this meeting.

It is really cool

The 75 page thesis is my constant concern during my career of MA. I though it is a project besides 10 required courses in order to graduate. Nevertheless, to my surprise, Prof. Sen told us in his first class that the final paper of this class is to finish a chapter of our theses. In other word, one third of my thesis will be done in this class. This paper will earn double credits from both this course and the thesis. Quickly, I realize I may use prof. Rossabi’s class to complete another chapter of my thesis. If it is true, this semester I will finish around 50 pages of my thesis. Then, the rest will not be a big problem anymore. I don’t have to leave half year to do it, but can use summer or some spare time to accomplish it. Isn’t it really cool.

The first week of 2010 Fall

The summer of 2010 has already passed with my regret of a lacking of a productive season. The new semester has already started since yesterday. Yesterday I went Dr. Rossabi’s class, but he did not prepare any assignment for me and asked me come to see him next Tuesday. in other word, I can only start his class after next Tuesday. Prof. Sen’s class will be on next Monday; I don’t think that will be too difficult. Thus, I really have nothing to do about my study and this weekend becomes an extension of the summer holiday.

Although anxieties of a new start are already unavoidable, I have strong confidence that I can well complete the study of this semester too. I always think about if any unpredictable thing occurs, I would not try to control my fate but only obey and accept whatever I am given.

Another reason I didn’t do more work because I deliberated to minimize the unnecessary using of computer. So, I didn’t write much bolgs, essays, or reading from the Internet. Anyway, the new semester starts, I have to back a normal but tense working schedule. Good luck, Pink tear.

A small Tang poem

It is raining from yesterday night. I always enjoy rain, especial the cool summer rain. I often listen to rain near the door and windows, but rare walk in rain though I usually dream that.

This is the last Sunday of my summer holiday. Next Thursday will be the first day of the fall 2010 semester. I am worry about the new classes as usually although there is no good reason.

I’d like translate a small Tang poem because I am really touched by it.

My home country is thirty Li away and I have stayed in the secluded palace for twenty years.
While you sang my hometown song of Hemanzi, even at the first a few words, I could not control myself and a pair of tears fell down in front of you.

Kite man

When I went to work this afternoon, I saw a mid-age man was flying a kite on the track of QCC. It is a simple, red, square-shape kite. I like it. Since I arrive to the college a few minutes early, so I walked around on the track a while. When I passed by the kite man again, I found there was no more kite on the sky. I asked him where the kite was. He said it was there, but I could not see. He pointed it by his finger and asked me to watch following by his direction. However, I still could not see. I realized the kite was too far away, thus became too small to see. Since the kite man knew where was it, so he felt he could see, but not anybody else. I asked whether he made this kite, he answered yes. It is really wonderful. I rarely speak with strangers, but today in such a nice cool summer day, I gained a nice experience to speak with other people.

hot, hot, hot

Lately, the weather is very hot. Today is 97F, and tomorrow and the day after tomorrow will keep the same high degree. Someone said this year NYC has less rainfall than the average degree. Perhaps, this is one of the reasons that causes the high temperature. We don’t have an AC at home; fortunately, our home is not very hot. At last, we can stand it and we feel no trouble to sleep well at night. Anyway, I still wish the temperature goes down, so we’ll feel more comfortable.
Because the passed weekend was July 4 long weekend, I got four day off. Tomorrow is the day to go back work. My job is easy, but I still have a little feeling of reluctance to embrace tomorrow.

Night Rain

One third of this summer is passed. I am working in Queensborough as usual. I have few things to do in Student Activities office. Sometimes, I work in ID office if they are busy or somebody gets off. The job in ID office is a sort of simple-repeating labor. For me, no matter a job is busy of idle, I accept whatever I am given.

I have not seen a colleague two weeks and assumed she quitted. However, when I told with the lady in ID office today, I found she was fired. She said, “They get ride of her… This place is disgusting.” Nobody can feel good when you see your companion fell into ill circumstance. We worry about ourselves that we may in the same situation one day.

Since I have nothing to do or nobody to speak while I work, I read books. I have borrowed many books about Buddhism and Chinese history. I wish I can have readings as wide as possible in this summer. This is the initial step I am doing for my thesis.

The night in a summer day is always long. Tonight, while I am writing my blog, a sudden rain is coming, accompanying by strong sounds of thunder. The rain is getting heavy and I am hearing the sound of the rain becoming louder and louder. Woo, how wonderful this summer night.