Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Worry about the happiness

Yesterday I got two birthday cards and two gifts. Today I received an email from an old friend in China. She rarely sends email to me and never contacts with me from the Internet; thus I value this email very much. She indeed is one of my best friends since my young age. In this email she said she dreamed about me sometimes even recently. I am touched by that.

I also made a deal with Yunju. We will go out to eat noodles and a cake this Friday. I don’t want to have a very big meal as birthday dinner. If I do that, I will feel my birthday is nothing but only a meal. I want to eat lightly but enjoy the foods, the people, and the time.

I gradually have more and more friends in my life. I appreciate that and always feel the happiness around me. Sometimes I am afraid that any bad things would happen to my life since I feel so happy now. To get ride of this concern, I examined the weakness of myself and my life. To my surprise, after I did that, I found my life is actually in a very poor situation; it really cannot to be considered a happy life. I have no job, no profession, little saving, bad English, no longer young and separated with my parents. It is true that I have an understanding and sweet husband, but he has an even more difficulty life need to deal with immediately. When I realized that I am suddenly released. My life is not as perfect as I considered before. I am merely a commoner with small joy and small sadness. For this reason, I don’t have to worry that the heaven may envy my life and then do something bad to me.


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