I am really hesitating

The new semester is starting. I have three big courses, history 144, South Asian history, history392 W, history about politics, culture and memory, and Anthropology 201, cultural anthropology. All of them require actively discuss in every class. Class participate weights twenty or twenty five percent of the final grade. Although I really cannot speak well, I am trying. In addition, I believe that if I must speak in every class every time, my speaking will improve during the process. Consequently, class discuss will become less difficult for me.

After a few classes, I gradually found class discuss is not such a bad thing. Unlike exams, in which you must answer all the questions, during the class discuss, if you don’t know, you can just listen to other’s talking and wait the point that you are familiar with. Since the class time is limited, you certainly don’t have talk too much. Probably, speaking two or three times on each class is fine. In fact, if one person speaks too much in the class, it is not fair to his or her classmates. Leaving some time to the classmates, but say something to hit the point, that is my method.

These courses require a lot of essays but few exams. It is difficult but not too bad. Although there are always problems on my English writing, I’d like to spend time to do it and enjoy doing it. Nothing is easy in the world. If you are doing easy things in you whole life, the life must be boring.

I am still hesitating to go to the graduate school or not. It is so difficult to make the decision. If I give up school, probably I am losing the last change to get the academic achievement in my life, but if I do, the difficulties are so huge that I really doubt if I can conquer them. I asked my father, he said that up to me. I presented the disadvantages and advantages of the both sides, he thought I might don’t have to go on any more. My father prefers an easy live; however on this point, I don’t completely agree with his view. I still cannot make the final decision, and I understand nobody can help me but I have to decide my life by myself.