Thursday, March 22, 2007

Happiness is less attractive.

I am a person who has many good qualities. However, accompany with them, much weakness exists in my personality, and I unable find out a solution alone.

I am rare late, so I don’t forgive somebody coming late.
I am careful about my words, so I hate somebody lie.
I study hard, so I look down somebody waste their time and life.
I enjoy living in a simple live, so I detest somebody busy to pursue a material comfort.
I love literature and art, so I don’t believe somebody who doesn’t know them are not well cultivated people.
I often have some keen thought, so I usually ignore, or sometime tease, others’ opinions.
I pay an especially attention to prevent to hurt others’ feeling, so I very difficult to get over if I am hurt.
When I stay together with people, I always concern about how to take care of others, so I rather like to stay alone.
I hold a serious attitude toward life, so I detest somebody who desert their lives.

I believe I have many good qualities, so I rarely study from others, rarely ask help from friends, and have relatively less communication with others.
I have realized my problems long time ago, but I am unable to change my personality.

I admire people who have some weakness. If people themselves have some weakness, they tend to easier understand and forgive other people. They mind is broad rather than bother about some very tiny things.

I ask my husband practice English writing everyday. But he fails to do that. He claims that he studies all the times, but all the evidence I have found is against his statement. I am tried to require others to do something, even though the person is the closest one in your life.

I cannot blame him because I understand this is his natural tendency. Asking a common person do something against his natural tendency is an extremely difficult thing in the world. He is a common person. He enjoys it and never feels there is something wrong. There is nothing wrong, of course.

In contrast with him, I have been expecting to be an unusual one since I was a kid. I didn’t perceive the world form the reality as the most people, but all my thoughts are coming from ancient Chinese philosophies and classical literatures. From them, I have tasted enough sorrow of life when I was a teenager. I could not sleep at night in my early twenty’s; I struggled in my mind for the passing time, and urged to do something real. After I lost this hope several years ago, I feel only a peaceful mind is the true aim what I want.

Happiness is less attractive.

Beautiful clothing and make up make no sense to me.

I insist on that if a person has more material desires, his spirit is more limited. Since nobody agrees with my idea, I have modified it later. If someone considers material supplies are not important, the only reason is because he or she is enjoying enough of them.


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