Can I expect help from others

All the grades were posted in school website yesterday. I didn’t do very well this semester, but I am not disappointed by my grades. I got an A+ on Linguistic 101, an A on Anthropology 102, a B on Anthropology 101, an A- on Japanese history and another A- on Oriental Study 140W. Because I got a D+ on the mid-term exam of Anthr 101, a B on the final grade is a pretty good grade for me.

My friend Antony had four courses in the past semester, the first college semester of him, and he got two As and two A+s. I just hate him. I know many American young people who just don’t pay attention on study; if they do so, how can I compete with them.

It’s so incontinent that I cannot access the Internet at home. Although I understand I have no rights to ask anybody to do anything, I wish my cousin can help me. For him, making a wireless connection on a laptop is not a too difficult job. He has done that for me before and for his mother recently also. Doing that may cost half hour, it is a very limited time. If he does that, he loses little, but I will receive a very useful benefit.

In fact, I always try my best to do my job alone, avoiding asking help as more as possible. However, for this case, because I have no knowledge about computer and my husband is not here, I completely have no idea how solve this problem. In my heart, I feel so bad that my cousin refused to help me. We live in a same house, eating dinner together everyday. I just don’t understand why he treats me so cruel.

Maybe I am an ugly person, so I cannot win favor from most people. If I was as nice as Zhiyin, I would have a good relationship with everybody, including people same as my cousin. I know some parts of my personality are unpleasant. But, how can I change?